Living with your decisions: The good, the bad and the ugly

Hello Crowned Royals! It has been a very long minute, but I hope all is well with you. I am doing well and just like you, I continue to work towards trading my thorns for crowns. I have been wanting to write on this topic for quite a while now, so hopefully my thoughts are still as fresh as I need them to be. Decisions, we all have to make them and eventually we all have to live with them. I am assuming that all my readers are adults and at some point in your lives had to make some major decisions, however big or small, the decisions were made and whether good, bad, or ugly, you lived with your decisions. So let us talk about talk about them!

Not so recently, I went to a restaurant with some friends, I was quite familiar with the menu and knew what was good there and decided on my order easily. My friends on the other hand were visiting the place for the first time and just like most first timers, they did ask what was good, I shared my suggestions, but allowed them to make their own decision. Despite my suggestions, they decided to go for something different and that was okay by me because they were first timers. Our meals were brought to the table and everyone dug into their meals, and immediately you could tell that not everyone was happy with their choice. I was quite happy with my chicken parmesan dish, but it may have been too late for the others to change their order so they ate their food regrettably. They envied by chicken parmesan and some even asked to have a taste of my good meal choice . You might be wondering, what does this meal story have to do with living with our decisions, well, all that is just a simple example with no major consequences of how our decisions eventually live with us. While you are not dealing with eating bland food that could not be saved by any amount of salt and pepper, you are dealing with major life decisions that come with major consequences and you would want to make the right decision with those ones. Throughout this blog I want you to think about your major life decisions and how you live or have lived with them.

Major Life Decisions and living with the them

What are major life decisions? These are decisions that can literally change your life for the good or for the bad. These type of decision impact our lives in major ways, for example, what state should I move to? must I make a career change at this age? is this the right person to marry? etc. Major life decisions are what you live with and unlike deciding on what meal at the restaurant, they are far more complex to be taken lightly. Major life decision require more thought and discernment. Unfortunately, we have more people making major decisions without understanding the complexity of their choices. Whether the decision is good, bad, or ugly the lack of understanding the complexity is what we end up missing overall. If you have ever had to make a major life decision, then you should know by now that not every decision is fun to make and if you are like me, you would rather make the fun decisions and skip those though ones. But unfortunately life does not work that way and so we also have to make sound decisions for even the tough ones because we eventually live with them too. For every major life decision you make, remember that it manifests in your life and how it manifests is what lives with you. How are you living with those decisions?

If you have ever had to live the consequences of your decisions, then you know what it is like to either be glad you made that decision or regret making that decision. We want to think making decisions is the hard part, but have you ever lived through the bad decision you made? Such torture, right? and even though there might be someone to blame, you still made that choice too. Once we get to experience this type of regret with our choices, we then use to to make wiser choices and live with better consequences. Easier said than done for sure, but what would you rather live with? the good? the bad? or the ugly?

Decisions, Decisions and More decisions…. does it ever end?

Just when you thought you made the right decision, here comes another decision causing you sleepless nights as you try to rationally figure out what to do next…been there? there right now? I think we all have been there or are there right now and the question is when does it end? I personally think it does not end, as long as we are alive, we will have decisions to make. It is quite easy to despise major decision making, but do you realize that so much power lies in you making your decisions. I think God gave us the ability to decide so that we are able to see the power our decisions have over us. If you are like me and have made some good, bad and ugly decisions, then you know the power of your decisions really impact your life. With the many decisions we have to make in our lifetime, we quickly learn that our decisions have consequences and those consequences are what we live with. Because decision making will not end anytime soon for you, how best can you make sound decisions and live with them in harmony?

Making Sound Decisions

There are several ways to go about making wiser decisions that you will not have to hating living with the bad choices. I know this because I have made my share of bad decisions and if I just applied some of these listed below things could have been different. I hope these help you too;

  1. Seek counsel- with God, trusted family/friend, church counsellors (pastors etc)
  2. Realize there is power in your decision
  3. Don’t allow fear to decide for you
  4. Learn from your bad decisions and don’t repeat them
  5. Never make decisions under pressure
  6. Evaluate your decisions

God and Decisions

Here is the exciting part of the blog, some assurance that all of us can appreciate as we make decisions. God wants to be part of our decision making, he actually delights in us seeking his counsel regarding our major life decisions, even the ones we consider small. God wants us to make good and sound decisions that allow us to realize the power our decisions have over our lives. He gives us freedom with our choices and that speaks of a lot of his love for us. As complex as decision making is, it is comforting to know that God is willing to help us decide, our job is just to seek his Godly counsel. Living with your decisions under God’s counsel is the ultimate goal. Allow him to guide and help you on which way to go and most importantly what decision to make. Making decision is already hard and can oftentimes leave you frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, confused, restless just to mention a few. So why then complicate your decision making by trying to decide on major life decisions on your own? Check in with God and see what he has to say about your choices. His word in Proverbs sums this all up beautifully;

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and never lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path.

Proverbs 3 v 5-6

All in all, we can all admit decision making can be hard at times and can even be worse when we have to live with the bad choices we make. My final thoughts on this is that we do not always have to make the bad choices and learn from them later if we just start by making the right ones from now on. How do we do so? By not making these decisions alone! We seek counsel, we learn from past mistakes, we don’t take major life decision making lightly, we don’t allow fear to decide for us and we eventually decide on the right choice. It is time for us to make the right decisions and live with them. It is time for us to take our rightful place! It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Why am I not there yet?: What happens along the way

Hello Crowned Royals! It feels like forever since I took to the keyboard and put my thoughts in words, so here I am writing again. I have had many thoughts about what I am about to write up today and quite honestly these thoughts are way overdues. By sharing this with you I hope you get to realize that your journey does not end because you faced a couple of setbacks along the way. The journey must go on, you have a destination and it should be reached by all means necessary. With the many setbacks that we meet along the way, we do eventually ask ourselves the question “Why am I not there yet? This question alone can bring grown men and women to tears, so let us unpack this together.

I have never been a huge fan of road trips because I personally think they take way too long and if you live in the Midwest like I do, there is barely much to see and be amused by along the way. When I do take a road trip to a place I have never been, it is only wise for me to plug in the address to the destination before driving off and also plan my stops along the way. If I am traveling with a friend that calls for good company along the way and if I am traveling alone that calls for a solo praise and worship concert and occasional afrobeats. Once I get on the road I have an estimate of my time of arrival and all my plans to stop along the way are well calculated to keep me within my arrival time frame. But sometimes the unexpected happens, a traffic build up that was not there before, a car crash delaying traffic, the occasional flat tire, the additional stops that were not in the plan and eventually a frustrated woman who just wants to get to where she was going. Why am I telling you all this? If you didn’t catch it yet, this is all of us along the way to our “destination”, whatever that destination is for you, you know that the you had the destination, you made the plans and some of you did not expect the unexpected delays and now you are frustrated asking the question “Why am I not there yet?

What is along the way?

Unlike road trips, the life trip we embark on is far more complex and involves a whole lot more heart, mind, soul and spirit to get to where we need to go. It is not until you embark on this journey that you meet what is along the way. What you meet along the way, expected and unexpected will tell you of your resilience and determination to reach your destination. It can be quite hard to see the destination if you are distracted with what is along the way. Take for example, a person who has decided to embark on a journey of healing and along the way they are faced with hurt and that hurt distracts them from their destination, which is wholeness. What is along the way is not the end of the journey, you must go on. I remember embarking on my own journey of healing and was then faced with the unexpected hurt and betrayal along the way, geez that bump in road kept me quite distracted for a while. Eventually, I got frustrated and had to ask God this question, “why am I not there yet?” This was not a question God had to answer, it was for me to look at my own life and see that I was distracted by the hurt and betrayal and certainly had lost my way. Clearly were I was, was not my destination, but thank God for redirection. What am I trying to tell you? If you want to make it to your destination always remember what lead you to make the decision to embark on the journey. What is along the way, is your hurdle to jump and conquer. Too many of us have allowed what was along the way to determine the end of our journey, but if there is any fight left in you, I ask you to pick up from where you left off because the journey is not over. If God still wakes you up each morning, then friend, you still have to move.

Arrival time

I wanted to talk about the arrival time because let us face it, we live in a society that seeks instant gratification and fast pace results. We want to get to our destination as quick as Jimmy John’s, but lack the understanding as to why our journey maybe different from the other. We then push for false arrival times so we can keep up with the rest. Friend embrace your journey, just because someone got there before you quicker doesn’t mean you have to falsely arrive to your destination. Another major concern about arrival time is when others who don’t know the journey you are on want to determine the time of your arrival. They will ask you questions like, “you are not healed yet? you have not succeeded yet? You should be over that by now, why are you still working on that?” Questions like this then lead you to ask yourself “Why am I not there yet?” Comparison has been the death of many, and continues to haunt people because they refuse to accept their own path and waste time on envying someone’s path. There is a Christian saying that says God’s timing is the best. Till the passing of time and space this saying will continue to be relevant for this world that doesn’t understand that God runs on a different clock. I say so because when God’s perfect time came for me, no one, not even myself could deny that I arrived to my destination. When you arrive under God’s perfect timing, it will be quite evident and will not leave room for second guessing. Never be pressured to falsely arrive because of what and who is around you. Your arrival time will come, just don’t give up in the middle of the way.

With God along the way

There is nothing more calming than taking God with you for the journey. Even when the frustration and tension builds up along the way, you know you are in good company. It is like taking a good friend along on this very long journey and knowing you can turn to them anytime and talk to them openly about how you feel without feeling judged. With God along the way, he is the one that will remind you of why you even took up this journey in the first place and why you should reach your destination. He helps you keep the pace even when you want to go faster as you see others go ahead of you. How amazing is that! For the several journeys I have taken and some that I continue to take with God, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is peace that comes with knowing that God is in it with me. There is also an assurance that you will get to where you are going as long as keep him in this journey. The Israelites that were lead by Moses are perfect example of moving with God along the way. The story tells of this intense journey to the promised land that could have ended in 11 days, but the distractions from the destination prolonged their time, but after 40 years, God finally brought them to the land as he promised. Along the way, God provided for the Israelites all they needed to make it to their destination. Why would you think he wouldn’t do it for you? There is what the scriptures say; *side note* this is one of my favorite verses from the bible, it is such a good reminder while on the journey.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29 vs 11

I can not emphasize it more, the word already tells you that God knows, he knows where you are at in your journey and were you could be if you just continue to walk it out with him. Even when frustrated with the question “why am I not there yet?” at least you know there God is ready to listen and unpack with you, and also redirect you. Giving up is not the solution and should never be an option when faced with the expected and unexpected along the way. There is a destination you are supposed to reach, don’t get distracted with what is along the way. Use what is along the way to build your resilience and determination to make it to where you are going. Always remember why you started this journey. It is time for you to take your rightful place! it is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Schooled by experience: What a book can’t teach you

Greetings Crowned Royals! I hope all is well with you and your loved ones. I am so excited to write again this week and share with you what has been on my mind of late. Writing on failure last week made me think of something closely related, but a much border topic that we will unpack together. While Failure falls under the entire scope of our life experience, it literally is a small segment of it when we think of our many life experiences and how they shaped us to be who we are today. There is a famous quote that says experience is the best teacher and I couldn’t agree any more. Experience teaches us things about us that the books can not even explain. Being schooled by experience is far more complex and it demands more of your character than it does our intelligence. So, what makes experience the best teacher hands down? To answer this question, think of your own experience; the lessons, the rewards, the surprises, the tests, the uncertainties, fears and how all of that helped shape you to be the person you are today.

What is it like to be schooled by experience

Being schooled by experience is like going on a experimental roller coaster ride blindfolded without any idea on when the highs and lows will hit you. You will be met with many highs and many lows along the way, yet you stay on the ride and hopefully pay attention and take some notes because there will be tests after each ride. When you being schooled by experience, you will notice how you are not being asked to memorize knowledge, but you are rather required to apply the knowledge to your life experience. It is very hands on and practical type of school experience.

Another thing you will notice while being schooled by experience is that comparing and copying off others life experiences will not work so well for your own. Life experiences are told differently by everyone because of how we handle the lessons taught from our highs and lows. Not everyone handles these lessons well, and maybe you haven’t done so well either other times when handed these lessons, but your work and effort to do better is a choice you make for yourself. Doing all of this is not an easy task, so teaching tools such as books can help better prepare for while being schooled. While books are a great teaching tool, they can only go so far in helping us mature than actual experience can do.

BOOKS as a Teaching tool

If you are not reading a book that will help your current life situation, please read something! God has blessed many people to write books on different aspects of life and he gave us his word the Bible that touches on every aspect on life. Books are a great teaching tool that provide you with insight and practical examples. From books we learn that we are not the only ones experiencing life’s highs and lows. The only thing the book can’t teach us is how to learn from our own unique experience. We have books that will help us learn and understand our situations better, so that even as we experience, we go in somewhat prepared. A book will give you a general overview, instructions, advise and commend you, but the work starts when you apply the knowledge of and make it practical for to your own experience. Here is what a book CAN NOT teach;

  • Your own unique purpose
  • Your resilience and tolerance during your lows
  • How to handle your own success and failures in life and move on
  • Your own perspective over your life
  • How to be patient and kind to yourself as you experience life
  • The choices you make and made had a huge impact on your life

EXPERIENCE as a teacher

Can we all admit that experience has thrown us some harsh lessons, I mean really harsh that for some of us it changed our way and meaning of life. Experience is the teacher that most of us wish we did not have to take a class with them or maybe skip a couple lessons and still expect to pass. Wrong! As you experience life more, you will soon realize that there are no redos or make up tests like it was in school. Life experiences are about how well you handled the highs and lows and what you learned along the way is more valuable than you can imagine. Experience as a teacher has the ability to wipe us into shape and despite some painful lessons we would be thanking it later. Experience teach us that success is good and so is failure. We will be faced with many tests and as we continue to learn, but experience as a teacher cheers us on to keep going and growing in the process. Experience will teach us the valuable lessons of life that we can then use to help others that continue to struggle. Once you are schooled by experience you will soon learn the important of every high and low in your life and not take it for granted. Here is what experience WILL teach you:

  • Your own unique purpose
  • Your resilience and tolerance during your lows
  • How to handle your own success and failures in life and move on
  • Your own perspective over your life
  • How to be patient and kind to yourself as you experience life
  • The choices you make and made had a huge impact on your life

God and experience

God created us to experience life in its fullness, he knew that we will experience all the highs and lows and was confident that we would through the process learn who we are and not quit on life because of it. For some of us, our experiences helped align us back to God’s will for our lives. We had to take those hard and painful lessons to be able to come back to where we should have been in the first place. God like any loving parent helps correct us through our experience and while the lesson was not pleasant at first, we were surely grateful. He used our experience for our good. God used our experience for our good! Let us see what scripture says:

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12 vs 11

To be trained by experience is good! There is a harvest that comes with you staying the course and making the choice to grow and transform from your own life experiences. Allow yourself to be trained by the best teacher and while you are at it utilize books and study the word of God. With that said, I hope you can now see that being schooled by experience is not such a bad thing after all. Through the entire process you get to learn who you are and understand why your experience was tailor made for you.

It is time for us to take our rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love!

Xholiwe

Always a winner: What happens when you fail

To win again you need to critically look at your failure and handle it well. -Xholiwe-

Hello Crowned Royals! Greeting from the winter wonderland land of Illinois. I hope you are doing wonderful and not quitting for nothing until you take your crowns. I thought of writing this week because I had many thoughts regarding failure and how most of us don’t take it so well. I totally understand us because let’s be honest failure is not not as exciting as winning. We all want to win, I mean who wouldn’t want to always be the winner? But what happens when you fail?

If you have ever played a good game of Monopoly with either friends or family, then you know not everyone takes failure very well. Remember when your competitive family member or friend lost all their money and property on Monopoly? How did they take that failure? I am guessing not so well and that was just in a game of Monopoly. Unfortunately, failure goes beyond the a fictional board game, even for the people that have always been winning in real life. Unexpectedly for some failure comes as a surprise and their inability to handle failure can be quite devastating. For people that are used to always winning, I want to tell you right now that failure is okay. Failure is not the end of your winning streak, and will not ruin your life. I hope after this blog the “f” word will be a comfortable thing for you to say without panicking.

What happens when we fail?

When we fail there are two ways we can go and the choose is usually up to us and how we handle our failures. You could either take the route that tells you are not enough because you failed in something or the route that says use our failure as a learning point to grow and mature. It is hard to take the second route if you have always been the winner, losing for someone who has always been a winner is so scary. But I don’t think many people are impressed by a story of someone who has always been winning. In fact, people don’t buy tickets to motivational speakers who have always been winning, what sales those tickets is that failure was involved. We have heard the stories of the winners and champions we admire and they have something in common and that is failure. They share on their failures and just for a second we look at their humanness and that they too are not exempt from it. But if these people took the route that told them they were not enough and should quit, then we would have lost champions because of their inability to handle failure well.

I get it failure does not feel good, starting over does not make any sense at all, but once you decide to take the route of growth and maturity from your failures then you are going to see failure much differently than you did before.

Changing your perspective on failure

A lot of us have looked at failure negatively because we live in a society that does not celebrate failure, if anything we would rather failure did not exist. We all want to win, winning is appealing and well celebrated. Think about how a winning sports team brings celebration to its fans compared to the losing team that leaves it’s fans devastated. For the team that lost, their failure allows them to look critically at their mistakes and how they could improve for the next game or season. Rather than allowing failure to devastate and overwhelm you, look at failure as a place to learn and improve yourself and not beat yourself up about it. Starting off from this perspective of failure will help you realize that your failure is your learning point and not the end of your perfect world of winning. To win again you need to critically look at your failure and handle it well. Some of us could admit that we have not handles our failures well, and that later even lead to our own destruction.

Your inability to look at failure positively will easily frustrate, anger, overwhelm, guilt, shame and discourage you when you do experience it. I totally understand the feeling and emotions that come with failure because I too have failed miserably in some areas of my life and if I allowed that failure to devastate me, then I would be telling a different story. The feelings that come with failure are valid, but you can’t not allow them to guide you through your failures. You are allowed to feel all the feels, but dwelling on them and letting them lead you is an absolute no. Allow yourself the time to mourn your failure, but quickly remind yourself that failure is a learning point and learn what you have to learn from it.

God’s view on failure

There many Bible stories that tell me that God was okay with failure. He worked with many flawed people that experienced major failure. I think of the many failures of David and how God still used him and lifted him up above all the failures. I think of the failures of Peter and how God still used Peter to build the church. God may have realized it before we did, that we would fail at some point in our lives and he hoped we would see it much differently and handle it much differently than we do. God views failure as a teachable moment for you and also a place that helps you grow into knowing who you are in him. God is not looking at your failure and thinking you are defeated because of it. He is hoping you are taking failure well and not allowing it to overwhelm you and take you away from trying again. He is hoping you are realizing that failure is inevitable and not a death sentence. Rather than looking at failure as a limitation as we look at it, God looks at it as a place of possibility. A place where we can mature and take a more accurate look at our failure and how it can help us grow and build resilience. With failure God would want us to see our humanness and that even we are flawed, but have a perfect God that is able use us despite our failures and shortcomings. Think about it, if God only used people that were always winners, how would the flawed related to their own failures? For example if God only used the perfect, how would the world we live in look at failure? much worse than it is today. We would think perfect is the only way to be used by God, but on the contrary, God is wanting to help and work with the person who embraces failure and handle it well. The word of God says this:

Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
    I will not be disgraced.
Therefore have I set my face like flint,
    and I know I will not be put to shame.

Isaiah 50:7

Let us face it, failure is usually much louder than winning especially in the world that magnifies the failures of others, so this verse should be comforting to all of us. Even in failure God will help us and we shall not be disgraced! Glory to God who shows us grace even in our failure.

With that said, I hope you look at your failure much differently than you did before. I hope you are able to change your perspective on your failures and how well you can handle them. Don’t hate me for saying it, but failure is good for you. Failure will help you grow, humble and mature you. Failure is a perfect teachable moment for you and God is most likely to be part of that moment. Realize that if you have not experienced failure or are like me and have had your share of failures, then your failure does not mean your defeat. There is still a lot of room to win! Before we jump into the winning court, learn from the previous failures and grow. It is time for you to take your rightful place! It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Knotted: The emotional process of un-knotting painful ties

Hello Crowned Royals, Happy New Year to you all! I hope each and everyone of you are doing your best work to attain your crowns. If you asked me what your number 1 resolution should be, I would say attain your crowns and the rest will fall into place.

I was hoping to have written this blog earlier in the year because in the beginning of the year, most people are open to change so hope I am not too late. I want us to talk about knots, not the knots you see on the features image, but the painful knotted ties within us. We continue to do life while knotted with painful ties, which we have a tough time admitting to the emotional roller coaster they put on us. I hope this blog will help you realize that it is possible to un-knot those ties, and also be well aware of the emotional process that comes with un-knotting.

If you have ever been knotted in painful ties then you know that it feels impossible to get out of it, especially if the people or situation is something that changed your life drastically. Breaking of ties while knotted can take you from feeling frustrated, to sad, to angry, to restless, but at least if you have already began the process of un-knotting, you are off to a good start. I liken the emotional process of un-knotting to my constant battle with my knotted necklaces in my jewelry box. I think the ladies can agree with me, when jewelry gets knotted it also feels impossible to pull apart. I realized from the many un-knotting I had to do with my necklaces that if my patience was short, I got angry and frustrated, which lead me to quitting pretty quickly in the process. Even though that was the jewelry piece I wanted to compliment my outfit, I quit on separating it from the other because of the process it took. why was I quick to quit? Well, I think the patience and my emotions got the best of me and did not allow me to finish what I started, which would have eventually benefited me. I know this a trivial example compared to un-knotting actual painful ties in our lives, but isn’t that what we do? We being to un-knot hurriedly things that need time and patience, and because it did not happen quickly we then begin to go through the roller coaster of emotions. Once we allow for these emotions to get the best of us, we are unable to see the many knots we missed and continue to live knotted. Why do we then settle for a knotted life?

Living a knotted life

If you have ever known a life lived knotted then you will know that it is not one you can say you are living your best life. But why are so many knotted people claiming to live their best lives? Hmm, I can give you several reasons, but the first one that jumps out of my mind is denial. We as human tend to think by denying painful ties that they magically disappear, unfortunately, those things only happen in fairy tales. What we go through and experience in our life’s is real and can not be ignored. The knotted life is a life lived in constant denial of one’s reality. What denial does is that it takes away from the person’s ability to recognize that there are painful ties that they need to knot out if they want to live a better life. I know of the knotted life because I once lived it and let me tell you, it is no way to live. It is quite sad to know that many of us continue to live the knotted life and have normalized it because not many of have taken up the task to actually got through the process of un-knotting. But if you are one that is tired of the knotted life like I was, then I think it is time to go through the process head first and not to quit when it gets hard. Because it will get hard at some point, but quitting shouldn’t be you option.

The emotional process of un-knotting painful ties

Now that we know that the knotted life is not the way to live and have decided to un-knot it all, what can we expect? Well, we expect ourselves to go through one tedious and intense emotional process that in the end will give us a life lived with no denial. If you won’t come ready for such an emotional process, then you will be quitting even before it begins. Painful ties are not just little issues that you had with a co-worker that can be cleared over a cup of coffee. Painful ties are things that come with intense emotion and pain and for some those ties changed their lives and how they live. It may be the painful ties with a memory of losing a loved one, ties with failed relationships (intimate, family and friends), and ties with guilt from a situation that was not even your fault that changed it all.

The process to un-knotting all this will take you up and down with your emotions, but as you go through it you are not to allow your emotions to get the best of you. Emotions in the process are inevitable because what tied you up in the first place was associated to an emotion. Once you allow emotions such as anger, frustration, shame etc to get the best of you through the initial process of un-knotting, the process will be much harder, but that is no reason to quit. Are you allowed to feel these emotions as you un-knot? Absolutely! But do you dwell on them? No. You step by step begins to un-knot by letting go of the emotion associated to the painful ties. For example, you were angry that your father abandoned you at a young age. In this process you un-knot by letting go of the tie associated with the anger you felt as a child when your father left. The emotional process will mostly ask for you to look back to past events, remember certain people you chose to forget, feel the pain again and almost re-live what you have been in denial of, but it is all necessary and all part of it. Because this is a tedious and intense emotional process, you can’t do this alone. who will help you through this process?

Where is God in this Process?

God is glad that you have decided to go through the process of un-knotting the painful ties in your life. If anything, God is glad you have come to the realization that living a knotted life is not as fulfilling. God has been in the process even before your realization. He is one that is always waiting on us to take that first step and commit to the process. Once committed God is right next to you even through the emotions that are associated with the painful tie. He will send you help too, people that will help you through this process. You are not alone! God knows exactly how the painful ties make or made you feel. He knows the emotional toll it took on you to be tied up in such pain. Therefore, he knows how to help you un-knot through each step of the process. How do you get help? just like any tied up wounded solider, you cry out for help and seek the help of the Lord through your prayer to him. Like I said before, he has been in the process even before your realization. Call on him! Here is some scripture to remind you that you are not alone in this process God says:

…Never will I leave; never will I forsake you

Hebrews 13:5

That is God’s promises for you and me, that even through this process he is with us. The process is indeed tedious and intense, but knowing that you don’t have to do it alone is much reason for you to take on the challenge. You can not afford to quit and miss out on a life that is filled with the peace and presence of God. A life lived un-knotted! Now that is living your best life! But it does come with a process that you must be willing to take all the way. I know you can do it! It is time for you to take you rightful place. It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns!!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

The Fight of your Life: How can you win?

Hello Crowned Royals, I hope all is well with you and that you are doing your best to stay above ground as we wrap up this year. I know for some 2020 has been a long and hard year and for others it has been a year that allowed you to reflect on your life on a much deeper level. Looking back to this year might just show you at how much you had to fight off to stay above ground. While some had to fight a little harder than others, I think is safe to say that we were all fighting. We had to fight to stay sane, healthy, present, just to mention a few, nevertheless, life was still going on. I decided to write on the fight for your life because fighting for your life is not a one and done thing, but a continual fight that requires your resilience and will to stay standing in every battle ground you are thrown into. If you have ever been thrown into a fighting ring without any knowledge on how to fight your opponent then you might already be fighting a losing battle, but if you come in ready to fight with knowledge of who you are up against, then chances are that you are likely to win. Winning is the result we all should aim for, and if we have to win we need a whole lot more than only acknowledging that we are in a fight for our lives.

Story time: Before I became the girly girl I am today, I was mostly hanging out with my guy cousins and like very young boy back in the early 2000s, the boys loved to watch WWE (wrestling) and later play it on their video games. Because I was outnumbered by the boys, I too eventually got to love WWE and playing video games with them that involved fighting. Now that I think of WWE and playing fighting video games, there was one thing that was common, it was intimidation. How wrestlers in the ring would intimidate their opponents or how my bigger boy cousins will intimidate me was a common trend. In the fight of your life, you will also notice that even before you decide to throw any punches, your opponent will use intimidation to lower your chances of winning and most of us will flee without a fight. Once we give in into intimidation, we let go of our chance to fight and give the opponent the upper hand. One fighting story that just came to my mind is the historic biblical fight of David and Goliath. Goliath was David’s opponent and he did use intimidation to scare away David from attempting to fight, but little did he know that David was ready and had knowledge of his opponent and was training for this epic fight way before it happened. If you want to win the fight for your life then maybe you can start off my realizing that every fight requires your attention. If David was dismissive of this prior fights, how would he then have known how to fight Goliath? Pay attention, every fight is preparation for the next.

Know your own fight

The fight of your life may look nothing like another person’s fight because we all have our own circumstances that we are to overcome. One’s strategy to win may or may not work for you, but yours is to fight anyway. While others have to fight a little harder, others have less to fight for, but yours is to fight. I consider myself a fighter and in the amount of time I have been alive, I would like to think my fights were much more than others and at first I did not receive this revelation well. I thought why can’t I fight a little less like my friends do and just chill, but God knew best that I needed strength for the several other fights that will come my way. God has to build me to not be intimidated by my enemy, but to stay standing confidently knowing that God has my back. Maybe you are like me and you feel like you are in a constant battle that you want to win, I would encourage you to keep fighting. Will you like it at first? absolutely not! But nothing is more rewarding than the victory over a fight for your life.

Who are you fighting against?

Understand that the fight of your life is more spiritual than it is physical. Yes, your physically body does respond the your spiritual battle in some way. I remember when I was depressed, my body was just losing weight, even though I ate food normally. My body was responding in stress when things and people were constantly frustrating me. My physical body was extremely tired and beat down even though I was not in a physical fight. The fight of your life will require more of you and your spiritual attention. The bible says we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places [Ephesians 6:12]. Who have you been fighting? Have you been fighting the wrong person all this while and have been unable to win? The Bible let’s you know who you are up against and in order to win your battle the first step would be knowing who you are up against. When you are constantly fighting people and not what is backing their fight towards you then winning will be a far reach for you. So how can you win?

6 ways that can help you win your fight

  1. Know your opponent: you have to know who you are up against, you have to study their ways and build your strategy in order to win. You can’t come to a fighting ring without knowledge of who you are up against. So who are you up against for the fight of your life? Your answer is in Ephesians 6:12. So where is the fight ring? in the spirit, how do you fight in the spirit since it is not physical? answer is #2
  2. Prayer: Because you can not fight darkness, principalities, wickedness physically, you fight them in prayer grounds. Prayer is your weapon, use your words to win the fight of your life. Pray unceasingly because the fight for your life is a continual battle.
  3. Faith over fear: Some battles we have never experienced can be scary at first glance, but build you faith from it. Place your faith in God’s ability to help you win. Remember that this is not the first battle God helped you through.
  4. Don’t be intimidated: If you know your opponent, you know that they use intimidation to stop you from fighting, but you will make the choice to be bold and brave knowing that God is backing you up and that yours is the victory.
  5. Remember your training: If this is not the very first fight of your life, then you are to remember how you overcame and won your other fights. Even those small fights you consider irrelevant, there is something that could be used for your next battle.
  6. Apply your training: No, you will not just allow intimidation scare you away, but you will apply what you have learned over the years. Your will pray precisely and physically identify the wickedness, power, darkness that showed up in the people around you before taking your win in the spirit.

Once you begin to fight the right opponent and do it unceasingly for every battle ground you are thrown into, I tell you from experience that you will win. I will leave you with this encouraging verse as you pick up your weapons and fight for your life.

Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Timothy 6 v 12

Much Love,

Xholiwe

The Missing Link: How to own your story

Hello Crowned Royals, I hope you are all doing well and keeping healthy. While some of you enjoy warm summers, winter is on its way up North. I am not opposed to all the holiday fuzzy feels that come with it, so winter 2020 please be kind to us. I have been so out of touch with my writing to you and that is not an excuse for someone that wants you trading those thorns for crowns, even in 2020 we are still in the business of trading thorns. And boy! aren’t there many thorns to trade in this one year alone.

I write to you with such openness because what I write does step on some people’s toes. It might step on your toes, so if it does I apologize in advance. So ownership of your story was heavy on my heart for the many weeks I did not write and now I am ready to unpack. Imagine with me, we are in court as observers following a court case that involves two people, it could be about anything, but in this case we will say this is a bad divorce case. The two parties involved present their stories before the judge and each brings out the many good points about themselves and very few selected bad points only to wait on the verdict of the judge. When telling their stories each may or may not own up to their full story and eliminate the bad side of the story, but at the end of it all the judge has the final verdict. I hope you know where I am going with this, no more sitting as an observer in court, you too have some telling to do in front of the judge. I don’t know at what point you are at in your life, but given the opportunity to tell your story, would you fully own up to your story? Funny thing about not owning up to your story is that the little piece of information you decided to leave out always has a way of showing right back up in your life and then begins your endless battle of self defense in your own court (your mind).

As I mature more, because give or take 3-4 years ago I obviously wasn’t as mature, I was the one that bought into (not always) one sided stories until I realized that everyone experiences a situation and life in general differently and how they choose to tell their story is totally up to them. The problem with this is that like the husband and wife defending their divorce in court, our stories may have many missing links. Here is my definition of missing links, missing links are deliberate eliminations to the full story used to protect us or the image we paint and want people to believe about us. There is a question, are you that person that has left out certain parts of your story to protect yourself or the image others believe about you? Well, it is understandable because a lot of us have done that including myself and we all had or (still have for others) our valid reasons. Because our lives are not Disney fairytales, we actually deal with real life tragedies. The type of tragedies that we find hard to speak of because we don’t know how well others will receive us, sound familiar? The Truth is the part of the story that carries pain, shame, guilt, regret, anger, embarrassment is not desirable to own up to, but can I tell you that you can’t be you without your full story. Leaving out parts of your story and not owning up to all of it takes away from who you are, and hence the many masked people we interact with daily. Owning up to certain things in your life can leave such a bad taste in your mouth even before you decide to talk to someone about it, but can I tell how liberating it is to finally tell your story.

Side note, people that don’t own up to their stories can be self defensive when someone approaches them about their story. Trust me because I was there a couple of times, we might have to talk in depth about self defense in these coming blogs . The problem with self defense is that it takes you further away from being your true self because you are spending more defending yourself. It can be exhausting, not just mentally, but even physically, so why burden yourself this much?

The big question is how do you own up to your story? How do you add the missing link that you have ever so often left out?

5 ways to own up to your story

  1. Own up to yourself: Might sound silly to some, but mirror talk back to yourself your story. Tell it back to yourself and you will be surprised how many tears you might cry by just talking to yourself about your story and also discover how much you bottled inside.
  2. Take it to God in prayer: If you are not ready to fully own your story to family or friends then good news is that our God who is ever so listening would want to hear from you. Tell him your story, all the good, bad and the ugly. Yes, he knows, but you being able to say it is for your healing.
  3. Share your story with a trusted family or friend: Baby steps, just because you are owning up to your story, it doesn’t mean you stand in a church or go live on social channel to just speak on things that could use some wise words, warmth, encouragement and direction. Speak to your close knit and leave nothing out.
  4. Stop with the self-defense: Because it is exhausting, you need to stop it. If parts of your true story are out their being told by others then stop with the self defense. I know no one wants a bad name out there, trust me I know. Sadly, even in the case of false stories about you, you may need to stop with the self defense because people will also make up their side of their story too and all your defenses will mean nothing to them. Is it unfortunate? Yes, but you are working on your healing and not on a marathon of she said and he said. Find your peace.
  5. Identify your missing links: List all your missing links, the parts you left our in your story and associate the emotion that accompanied them. Are they in the past? or are the missing links still part of your story? If they are then, you got work to do to change that narrative.

Owning up to your story can not be so easy and I totally understand, but the beauty of doing so even while scared is the freedom and peace that comes from it. It is a very vulnerable act and if you ever do it, I applaud you! Here is some scripture affirmation that will push you towards owning up to your story;

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Romans 8 vs 1

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Revelations 12 vs 11

How amazing is that? your story matters to God and others need your story. You might not believe me, but there maybe someone out there that needs to hear your story and how you overcame. There is no condemnation! Your story is powerful, so own it. Owning up to it will never take away from you, it does the total opposite! It helps you walk in liberty and peace. Soon in enough you will be able to tell others how you overcame! Tell your story! It is time for you to take your rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much love,

Xholiwe

The Dangers of Hidden Emotions

Hello crowned Royals, I hope you are all doing well despite all that is going on in your personal life and the world right now. I hope you continue to take your position and stand firm knowing that God is with you through it all. For the past couple of weeks, I have been thinking of the complexity of our emotions as humans and how easily they can damage us when kept hidden from others and ourselves. You know what I mean right? Think of the times you had to hide your sadness from others because you feared being judged or maybe the time you masked your bitterness with a smile so life could feel normal for just a day. As humans, we are often dealing with our emotions on a daily basis and how we experience them can be a challenge for most of us. The challenge is not with desirable emotions such as happiness, but it is with the least desirable emotions such as sadness, anger, jealousy, bitterness, disgust, shame, guilt, fear. While it is quite easy to display happiness, joy, and laughter, the other undesirable emotions are often kept hidden. Why do we do that? Well, there are several reasons, but two main reasons are; we hope no one sees them expressed in us and two, we don’t want to see us express these undesirable emotions. The posed danger is hidden emotions from yourself, which we do consciously and unconsciously. So, what are the dangers that come from your hidden emotions?

At the very beginning: Where did it all start?

I would like to think every habit we adapt to had to start from somewhere. When is the time you began to hide your least desirable emotions from others and yourself? Let us think back to when were children for a second, we were expressive of almost all our emotions both good and bad. We displayed our face of disgust when our parents fed us vegetables, we threw huge tantrums to convey our anger when our parents didn’t give us what we wanted and cried tears of sadness when our mother left without us. So, when did it become hard to convey these emotions? Is it when your parents said you are growing up and you needed to cry less or compose yourself more? Or is it when your sad tears seemed to irritate your peers and you began to understand the complexity of other’s emotions towards yours? It had to start somewhere and where is started can be anywhere that those least desirable emotions began to be hidden. A perfect example I could think of was from the movie Frozen. There is a scene at the beginning of the movie between Elisa and her parents that we may or may not relate to. Elisa was told by her parents to conceal and not feel (in other words, not be expressive) and that poor girl was haunted with these hidden emotions for way too long. We are in some shape or form have just like Elisa concealed and not felt for way too long. So again the question is, where did it start?

Triggers

I would like to believe we all have emotional triggers. If you have lived quite a bit in this world, there are several triggers that can stir up different emotions. It can be something that someone says that takes you back to that painful experience or something that you watch that is relatable to your situation. It can happen in many different ways, but when something triggers our undesirable emotions, we try to conceal and hide. But how long can you do that before you have an outburst and all the hidden emotions unravel at one time? Sometimes it just takes one trigger to have you lost it because you have bottled up so much for way too long. I get it, been there, and done that and it only took one emotional trigger to bring to the surface all that was hidden for way too long. Was it necessary? absolutely! All that unexpressed anger, sadness, panic, bitterness, and fear had to get out if I want to be liberated from it all. I would imagine that you would want the same thing for yourself too. Nothing is more liberating than being honest with how you feel or felt from the situations you experienced.

7 dangers of Hidden emotions

What we do to ourselves when we hide our less desirable emotions can harm us in the long run. We are created to feel, and God knew exactly what he was doing when he put these emotions in us. Suppressing them only can lead to bigger mental issues such as depression, major anger issues, extreme fear and anxiety just to mention a few. Listed below are 7 of the dangers you are likely to face your hidden emotions;

  1. Immaturity: You inability to fully master your emotions and unable to identify a healthy way to express them. If you are constantly hiding them, how do you mature your expression of them?
  2. Instability: The danger of unstable decisions can lead to long term consequences that could have been avoided.
  3. Self-Sabotage: Ruining almost every good thing in the fear that you will have to expose things about yourself to others.
  4. Regret: Constantly replaying past situations that make you wish you did something different.
  5. Stagnation: Being stuck in the past, constantly unable to move forward because there are still some unresolved issues within you that you have kept hidden.
  6. Isolation: Choosing to be alone and missing out on healthy human relationships.
  7. Resentment: You resent others for things you did not communicate. You also resent yourself, which I think is more tragic.

If you have been noticing some of these dangers in your life, then it means it may be about that time that you feel what you have avoided feeling for way too long. It may be time to dig out all the hidden emotions you hide behind a smile. The good thing is that if you are not open yet to express this to others or lack healthy support, God is always ready to listen and allow you to express those emotions. Here is what he has to say to you;

10 So then, banish anxiety from your heart

    and cast off the troubles of your body,

    for youth and vigor are meaningless.

Ecclesiastes 11 v 10

Banish all anxiety that you have built up from all the hidden emotions. Cast off the troubles and go boldly before the Lord. Speak to God about it in prayer. This is a good place to start better communicating your emotions. Emotions are not a bad thing! Even the bible says get angry, but don’t sleep anger. The bible also talks about different times in the book of Ecclesiastes and emotions are mentioned too. We are human, we are far from perfect. God knew perfectly well what he was doing when giving us these emotions. Being the compassionate God that he is, he is able to turn those least desirable emotions we consider bad to good. He does however require our honesty and openness to him. I pray you see the beauty in opening up from those hidden emotions and finding liberty in finally being expressive in a healthy way. It is time for us to take our rightful place! It is time for us to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Focused and soaring to greater heights: The life of an eagle

Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash
You are to intentionally and deliberately zone in into your own vision if you want to achieve your destiny.

Hello crowned royals, I hope you are all doing well and staying afloat while the world is turned upside down. Now more than ever is a time for us to soar just like the mighty eagle especially with what is going on right now. From the title and the picture, you probably know what this blog will be about. Yes, we are going to talk about the eagle and learn a thing or two about this majestic bird. I don’t know about you, but I am often left in awe of this majestic bird and thought it is worth talking about. A friend and I were recently talking about eagles and I could not help write about them. I believe as humans there is so much we can learn from eagles and I see why the bible holds this creature with high esteem. For this blog we will unpack on the focus of an eagle and it’s ability to soar at such great heights. So the big question, what can we learn from the eagle? Probably a lot! But for this blog we will talk about focus and soaring.

Focus like an eagle

Unlike any other bird the eagle ranks on the top when it comes to vision. The eagle even has better vision and can see far ahead than the human eye can see. It’s vision gives it the ability to see sharply and helps it focus in on its prey even while it is still in the air. If you don’t know what I mean, I recommend you watch some national geographic show that showcases this bird in action. In the same way, we have to focus so we can eat too because not everyone just lands on destiny without focus. We may not be talking about literal food here or actual hunting, but the focus in our lives that regards our destiny needs to be as sharp as that of an eagle. This type of focus is not one that wavers because of the many distractions we are presented on a day to day basis. Imagine if the eagle got distracted while in the air and lost focus of its prey, it wouldn’t eat right? Hence it is critical that the bird maintains it’s focus in order to satisfy it’s need. Focus for every one of us is also critical as well, but many of us are still in spaces that distract us and further take us away from our destiny. Rather than focusing on the vision God has presented us, we miss the mark because we get distracted by what takes away our attention. Understand that not everything being done by others should be done by you. You are to intentionally and deliberately zone in into your own vision if you want to achieve your destiny.

When it comes to focus I am always compelled to talk about athletes because athletes embody focus. These people have to eat and breath to focus, they get paid to focus and if they lacked focus it was going to cost them. Think of yourself as an athlete for a second and see what it would cost you if you lost a competition because you got distracted and lost focus, it will not only cost, you but your entire team. Your vision is not just for you, but there are other people depending on you to focus so you can all win. This is not the time to get distracted, especially with what is going on in the world right now. While everything seems to be on a stand still, it may be a good time to re-focus yourself in any areas in your life that you feel that you have been distracted. Learn from the eagle that you can’t lose focus because if you do, you will not eat.

Soaring like an eagle

The majestic bird takes to the skies with such grace and demonstrates why it is different from the rest. The eagle does not flap its wings constantly, but because its wing span is different, once it takes flight it is able to soar in the sky at such great heights that other birds can’t reach. The eagle is the type of bird that still soars even in a storm, while other birds seek shelter. What can we learn about soaring from the eagle? What does soaring look like for us humans? I liken soaring higher heights to living your purpose. Purpose does take sometime to either be fully discovered or accepted and mastered. Let us be honest real quick, the human version of Soaring higher heights can be scary at first, especially if you have never done it before. Discovering purpose is great, but it is the work we put into that can either have us flapping our wings instead of soaring. Flapping often happens when we try to do things on our own. I know I am not the only one who tried flapping and got exhausted because I was doing things in my own strength and soon as the storm hit, I took cover. While the eagle has the soaring and braving the storm figured out, we need some help from the one who can align us to purpose and mount us up to take flight. Who is that you ask? Here is some scripture;

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40 v 31

When you purpose is birthed and aided by the Lord, you are sure to soar like an eagle. This bible verse tells us of our ability to soar on wings like eagle, not on any other bird’s wings because those type of wings wouldn’t be able to even go pass the ceiling. The eagle’s wings are for those that are ready to break the glass ceiling, those daring to step out of the generational dysfunction and fully embrace their purpose. Realize that the vision is much clear when you are soaring at higher heights and focused on achieving your destiny.

What more can say? My last words are that we can learn a whole lot more from the eagle! I doubt that the eagle is worried about you mimicking its way of life. If anything, God created the eagle as an everyday life lesson. Do you know how many motivational speakers have talked about the eagle? Probably to many for us to count. So all I can say is it time to focus and fight those distractions that take you away from your destiny and soar to greater heights were your purpose awaits. It is time for us to take our rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Lots of love,

Xholiwe

What was darkness: Step into light

Photo by kilarov zaneit on Unsplash
How did darkness become a place to hide out in fear of the light? Why do you avoid the light?
-Xholiwe

Hello crowned Royals, Happy new month! We made it to the 5th month of the year and we probably can agree that for some it feels like a century, but we can only pray that God sees us through it all. I have been doing a lot of resting and I must admit that it is time to get back to writing before rest turns into laziness. This blog post is going to be heavy before it gets light, so brace yourselves and let us unpack this together. To get us started, I want us to think about the times as kids when we feared sleeping in the dark and preferred the lights stayed on. How did the darkness make us feel? and why did we prefer the lights stayed on? I personally feared the dark because I believed monsters would get me and I was unsafe, but the light made me feel secure and safe because I could see around me. My reasoning as kid and as a grown adult about light has not changed because the light indeed makes me feel secure and safe. While I am proud to say I can sleep in the dark with the lights off now, it doesn’t mean that I did not overcome the kind of darkness that requires more effort than a flick of a switch. You know what am talking about right? The darkness in our lives that may have come into our life in many ways. It could have been through loss, sin, abuse, abandonment and the list goes on. Because this requires a whole lot more effort, we settle in it despite the fear and uncertainty we feel. What happened to being in the light? How did darkness become a place to hide out in fear of the light? Why do you avoid the light?

When darkness settles in your life

On a normal day to day we always know when darkness is about to settle, the sun sets, and the buildings around us light up. As you walk or drive you notice the street lights come on and the drivers on the road turn their lights on because darkness is settling. It almost happens naturally and because we are used to it, it becomes second nature to turn lights on once darkness settles for the night. How about when darkness settles in our lives? Can we tell that it is about to happen? Most definitely we can! We can tell that the toxic relationship is turning into darkness when we have been emotionally or physically abused once too many times. We can tell when we lose a loved one and depression kicks in that darkness is about to settle. We can tell that it is turning dark when we have repeatably committed the sin we have been struggling with for quite a while. So why do we decide to stay in the dark then? There are several reasons we refuse to turn on the lights, one main reason being that a lot of things that happen in the dark always come with a couple of other things. Things such as shame, hurt, anger, bitterness, regret, guilt just to mention a few literally push us into further darkness. We then fear the light because we fear our truth, not realizing that very truth is what will lead us to the light after darkness settles. Understand that living a life in darkness is tragic whether you believe in God or not. I was listening to an old sermon by my pastor and he asked this question, do you know how expensive living a life in the dark is? You pay for it with you peace, rest, joy and destiny. You can’t afford it! Don’t allow for darkness to settle. It is time to find the light.

Finding the light

Can we be honest? We all have at one point got so tired of the darkness and wanted to find the light. The question is not where do we find the light. It is who is the light? The light is found in Jesus and the word of God clearly says it several times. There is one of the many verses that let’s us know Jesus is indeed the light;

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 8 v 12 NIV

Because we often look for where the light is instead of who the light is, we continue to stay trapped in our darkness. We may find temporary light that will never last you as long as the light of life from Jesus. With Jesus as you light, even when darkness comes upon you, his light will quickly see you through. You no longer have to feed off the light provided by man when God becomes the light of your world. Find your light, not in the “where”, but in the “who” and that is Jesus!

Stepping into the light

If you ever tried to step into the light after a long time of living in the dark, you can probably agree with me that it does take a lot. The decision to step into the light can simply be you being tired of the dark and realize it is taking you nowhere. Other reason could be;

  • The word of God that is spoken in truth and proven that darkness wasn’t meant to last forever.
  • Godly assigned people that help you find the “who” in the light and pull you out of darkness.
  • Your own desperation to leave the darkness.

Realize that stepping into light takes a ton of readjusting. Just like the human eye readjusts itself even exposed to light after being in the dark for long, so does the spirit reform. Somethings may feel foreign until the spirit readjust to the light, but that is part of the process.

Walking from the dark into the light will expose you, but the key is to be transparent. My pastor said in one of his sermons that living a life in the dark is living in a life of falsehood and people who live there fear being exposed (John 3 v 20). He continues to say you can not be powerful if you are not transparent. The absence of transparency keeps a person longer in the dark. In the dark you nearly forfeit all power and allow the devil to have authority over you, but it is time for you to step out now.

One thing that we should also prepare for as we step into the light is the shadow behind us also known as our past. As long as there is light, there will also be a shadow. What do you do when you come face to face with your past (shadow)? Well, now that you are exposed to the light it is clear to see your past in the light. It is no longer a giant form of darkness that consumes you and makes you believe that your life is over. Be rest assured that your past (shadow) will go with you, but that is no reason to be ashamed, but rather let it be your testimony. Someone battling the same form of darkness needs you to tell your story!

Living in the light

Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! My last words are that stepping into the light is the best decesion you would ever make in your life. Here is what the light does for you;

  • You see clearly
  • You are refined
  • You are made whole
  • You heal
  • You are set free
  • You walk into your destiny

Those are some nice things to have right? Sound like a perfect recipe for what we call “living my best life”. So why not make the choice to trade that darkness for the light? Let’s do this! It is time for us to take our rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much love,

Xholiwe