Posted on by thornstocrowns

Survivor mode: How long can you live just to survive?

Why just survive, when you were meant to thrive?

The word survival kept coming up in a conversation I had last week and because it resonated on my heart, I thought we should talk about it. What further confirmed me talking about survival was when I was listening to the Woman of God Dr. Sonja Stribling a couple days after my conversation and she spoke on survival. She touched on several topics that often lead people to just survive in life versus them thrive. She asked a question, that I hope as you read this blog will resonate in your spirit and help you realize that you were meant to thrive! The question was, “why just survive, when you were meant to thrive?”

There is a very big difference between a person that just tries to survive and someone who thrives in life. The difference should not only be about money because that is where most of our mindsets venture off to when we think of surviving versus thriving. But understand that there are some people on this earth that have all the money, but are just trying to survive. They are trying to survive depression, past hurt, anger, bitterness, greed, pride and everything else you might think of that requires one to survive. Their inability to raise above all that makes it hard to thrive. Thriving requires more than just a fat bank account, status and power in anyone’s life. As people we can not just thrive in one thing and try to survive through the rest, we thrive in every area of our lives especially if God is involved . I am not by any means discrediting the survivors, we are all survivors because in our lives we were faced with trouble and we survived. Despite all the pain and all the confusion, we survived our dark days, but to thrive means to go beyond just saying we survived our dark days. We would have to use those dark days as a weapon and a reminder that we grew and will continue to grow by any means necessary. By definition to thrive is to grow, to flourish and to make progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances. Our circumstances are not for us to be constantly enslaved with the idea of trying to survive through them all, but rather look for other ways where we can thrive. What happens when we are just trying to survive is that we are constantly faced with panic as we anticipate the next thing need to survive from. Living life that way leaves you constantly on the fence, and until you break off the need to survive you might be on that fence for a long time. Survivor mode does not give you a moment to even reflect on your life, because in your mind there is no time to reflect, but just to survive. How do you deal with pain, bitterness, hurt, anger and everything else when all you trying to do is stay alive to see another day? How do you make the choice to just survive for the rest of your life when you are meant to thrive?

For one to thrive, one has to get out of the mindset of living life just to survive. However, if you want to thrive, it will require some growth pains and a tough break up from what you always have been used to doing your entire life, surviving. When you make the choice to thrive, you set goals towards changing the circumstances. While in the process, understand that no goal is too small. You are working your way towards bigger goals that will turn things around for you as you continue to grow. Also, thriving allows for time to reflect, to look at the things that don’t serve their purpose in your life and choosing to eliminate anything that can easy get you back to survival mode. So if you want to thrive, you are eliminating pain of the past, dealing with your anger, letting go of bitterness and killing your pride. Addressing all that came in the times where all you felt you needed to do was survive will set you up to thrive. You are not taking all the unnecessary pain in your thriving life because it will easily weigh you down. It all stays behind, the pain, hurt, anger, resentment, low self esteem etc. In your thriving life, you are able to handle all the things I mentioned previously a little differently than you did when you were just surviving. This time around as you thrive and go through life that will still have it’s ups and downs, you will make the choice to learn from any situation that you face. Learning in turn brings growth and growth leads to flourishing.

7“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17 v 7-8

The verse is talking to people that want to thrive in life. You can’t do this on your own, you have to trust that God will provide. God will step into your situations and make the crooked way straight. You are royalty and royalty does not just survive, we thrive! The word clearly says that we don’t need to worry even in a drought because we will still bear fruit!

My final thoughts, surviving is temporary, but thriving is something that will out live you (legacy). The choice of what kind of life you want to live is entirely up to you. I don’t know about you, but I want to thrive despite all the growth pains that may come with trying to break free from just surviving.

Much Love Thrivors!

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns · 3 Comments

The Power of words: Make or Break

Make a conscious decision with your words.
-Xholiwe

What a busy weekend this has been, but as always the weekend is never enough to get things done. I am glad, however, that I finally got my hands on my laptop because I would love to share on what is so significant in our lives and that is words. I am not talking about the words we use vaguely in our daily lives, I am talking about words that can either make us or break us.

We all remember that one great compliment that we received and how it brightened our day. We also remember that negative word that was spoken to us or spoken by us and it hurt us badly. Unfortunately, is it very easy to remember being called a failure than it is to remember that you were once successful in something. Why do words have some much power? Because words are the essence of all our lives, words can build our character and in the same way words can break our character. Ever wondered what happened to the sweet innocent girl from middle school that turned into an a mean girl in High School? No, it is not always puberty, but maybe along the way as she grew up she got bullied or was not spoken to in kindness by people around her.

The word of God makes it clear that words are powerful, with words God created and also with words God destroyed. In the same way, we can create and destroy, not just ourselves, but those around us. Let me talk about making for a second, as a child I was often told by my mother that I was smart and that I could do great things. My mother would remind me more of my strengths more than she did remind me of my weaknesses. Her doing so made me believe fairly quickly in my early childhood in myself and my abilities. She built my character in such a way that till this day, I am confident in my strengths and abilities. Making or building others takes us using the right words to encourage and uplift each others. Good words such as you are loved, you are wonderful, you are smart, you are unique and talented have a way of turning someone that felt like a zero to a champion. You don’t believe me? Ask the woman that was in a verbally abusive marriage and later on in life escaped and met the right person who told her she was loved. She will tell you that it changed her life and how she looks at herself. I am not the one to speak for the verbally abused woman since I have not experienced that, but I bet you that she is 10 times a better woman that she was in her previous marriage. There is something about using kind words that changes people and that shows you how powerful words are in our lives. Also, kind words towards yourself have a way of building you to truly understand who you are and believe in your abilities even when people around you want to break you. There is a sense of freedom that comes with using these words to free you from all that is not true about you.

Breaking words on the other hand are what we constantly need to heal from and it is unfortunate that so many people are surrounded by negative words. Breaking words/negative words can make champion feel like a zero, negative words have a way of breaking a person’s character to a point where they actually start to believe them. Yes, the son that was constantly called a failure by his father because he did not live up to his father exceptions believes that he is a failure. Negative words have a way of misrepresenting who we are and truth is the devil wants us to believe that because it would be easy for us to fall for his traps. When we focus so much on these words, it is very easy for us to lose who we are or who we are meant to be. Remember how I told you that it is easy to remember a negative word than it is to remember a compliment? Why is that? because negative words damage the spirit and with each negative word, it takes a little piece of you that is the essence of you. Eventually what happens is that the negative words outweigh the kind words and who you are supposed to be is buried under a pile of words. But do you have to stay there? No, you have break out and it may require a lot from you than just a couple feel good songs and a spa session. It is time to take your rightful place! Who told you breaking means that you can not be mended and made whole again? Tell that person that they are a liar because God is able mend all the pieces that where taken away from you because of negative words spoken over you. Believe me when I say this because I took along the journey of life have had not be spoken to so kindly and it had to take God to mend those broken pieces that where all bundled in a capable of negative words spoken over me.

Because I know words are powerful, I choose to be very cautious about how I talk to people and my choice of words. My suggestion is that you make a conscious decision with your words. Use kind words towards others, even those that are not so kind to you, you just never know what they are going through and your kind words might change their day.

Kind words are like honey—
    sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24 NIV

Speak with love and respect for others and teach those around you to speak to you that way too. Parents teach your children to speak with love and respect for others because kids have a way of learning from you. Surround yourself with people that use words to build you, to encourage, to uplift you and help you heal from all the negative words you have heard about you. Read the bible, the word in that book is living and active! There are so many promises and truths about you that live in that word.

Final thought, proverbs 20:15 says, “Wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold or rubies.” Be that rarer person that speaks wisely and kindly towards others, extend the same grace God has given you. Lastly, help others heal! we all still battle with some negative words that broke us along the journey of life.