Posted on by thornstocrowns

Commitment Issues: You made the decision, now what?

Crowned Royals!! Greetings! Greetings! and many more greetings! This is to make up for all the months that have went passed without my hellos. I hope you are well and are using everyday to trade those thorns for crowns. Forgive my silence, I used most of my time away to catch up with travel, something that makes me feel connect to the world and absolutely love. Last year was pretty hard for a travel junkie like me because of the travel restrictions due to the pandemic, but I am thankful to God I got to see a few places this summer. My last blog was about making decisions and I wanted to pick up where I left off and tie this bow up. Decisions are often followed with commitment, and while making decisions can be easy, commitment to those decision can be hard. Just like you, I have made the decision and struggled with the commitment, so how can we deal with our commitment issues?

Did you notice the blog photo I settled for captures two wedding bands? I couldn’t think of any other form of commitment that holds so much weight than marriage. Yes, I know 50% of marriages end up in divorce, but before that happened two people decided to commit to it and along the way for various reasons, things changed. No, this is not turning into a relationship blog, but keep the idea of this type of commitment to your decision making and commitment as we unpack together. Many of the decisions we make whether small or major require some level of commitment, but what happens when we fear commitment to those decisions? we run into commitment issues! What are commitment issues?

commitment issues

Commitment issues can stem up from several places, it would be fear based off past experiences or difference in opinions. When someone is having commitment issues, most of their decision making can be based off a fear of the unknown. The fear of the unknown raises the question of what ifs….The danger to this is that we could be making the right decisions, but would be unable to accomplish because of our commitment issues, hence limiting ourselves. For example, I watched a BBQ show sometime ago on Netflix and one episode told a story of a young man from a little town in the South that was good at barbecuing. His barbecue joint was in the family for many years and passed down to him and he would also train his son to take over the business after him. He know his place was good and people in the bigger city would want to have a taste of his amazing food, however, his family feared for him to move to a bigger city and that eventually made him fear as well for years. He would be offered an opportunity to expand his business, but would decline it and not commit even though he wanted to. After some years, he finally got the courage to commit to his decision to move to the bigger city and he never looked back. He grew his business in the big city and investors invested into his eating place all because he committed himself to his decision. Perfect happy ending right? What if he decided to stay in the small city and allowed his commitment issues to limit his reach? We would be telling a different story and that story would not be as great as what changed for the young man. While we are not facing the decision to move our eating places to a bigger city, we are still facing some decisions we are having a tough time committing to due to our commitment issues.

Why Commitment?

Ever heard of someone not committed to anything accomplish something significant in their lives or that of others? I will wait. I bet you haven’t, but we hear many stories of those that commited and accomplished much. Commitment is an action and if one struggles with commitment issues that means that decisions are made without action or intention to commit.

Imagine with me for a second, Jesus’s commitment to die on the cross for us…significant right? but imagine if he dealt with commitment issues, what would have that meant for us? But Jesus was commitment till the very end even with the process, the pain and the sacrifice. The whole point of commitment is not giving up. What makes it so difficult for us to commit to a decision that will be for our good? While there are several excuses and reasons we can use to justify our lack of commitment or fear of it, what then do we do when our commitment issues contribute to our constant draw back? T.D Jakes said this “you cannot conquer what you are not committed to.” Many of us want accomplish this change in our lives and all that is good to manifest in our lives, but have we ever thought the reasoning behind us not accomplishing is due to our struggle with commitment issues. We want the good [insert your heart’s desire], but the good cannot be achieved if we don’t commit to our decision. Here is why you should commit;

  1. Your commitment pleases God
  2. Commitment helps build your character
  3. Commitment makes you accountable for your own progress, errors and corrections
  4. Commitment makes dreams a reality
  5. Commitment is rewarding when you put in the work
  6. Commitment pushes you to succeed

Still need more reasons to convince you to commitment to your decisions? I don’t have to go have far. Just think of the many things that you have limited yourself of accomplishing by allowing your commitment issues to hold you back. I get it, I too have had some things that I convinced myself out of because of the fear that came from my commitment issues. Just like you I have had my many excuses that were backed up with detailed reasoning, but at the end I still was the one that lost. Many of us are losing because we are afraid, and if we were to all critically look at our lives we would see that our loses are coming from our lack of commitment.

GOD AND COMMITMENT

As a kid we used to sing this song ‘No Turning Back’ in Sunday school and to be honest it didn’t mean much to me until I understood my commitment to God. The words to the song are pretty simple… I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back… I interpret the words to this song as commitment. We decide to follow Jesus and not turn back, almost like how Jesus said that no man will put his hand to the plow and looks back (Luke 9 vs 62).

Our commitment to God pleases him. He desires our commitment to him and all that is about him. He exemplifies commitment by allowing his son Jesus to die for us. Jesus his beloved son he gave to us because of his commitment to free set us. He shows us that commitment issues do not help us accomplish something significant by this very act. Understand that it is very easy for our commitment to God to easily also affect our other commitments in different areas your lives. For some it starts there, at least for me it did! It starts with knowing that you are committed to a God that is also committed to you and has your best interest. God has your best interest, he too wants to see you accomplish based off your commitment. The good part about all this is that God wants us to commit to him whatever we do and he will help! Don’t believe me? here is some word for you;

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans”

-Proverbs 16:3-

Rather than constantly being with the fear of committing to your decision alone, why not make the commit to the Lord and find your strength even when fear wants to give you an excuse or reason to quit. He being God will help you establish you plans, but you have to stay committed.

I will end by saying, there is nothing you accomplish when you allow commitment issues to limit your reach, growth, change etc. There is however, much to be accomplished with you deciding to fully commit to your decision in the good and in the bad. You continue to trust the process and fight off the fear that comes from your commitment issues. It is time for you to take your rightful place. It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Living with your decisions: The good, the bad and the ugly

Hello Crowned Royals! It has been a very long minute, but I hope all is well with you. I am doing well and just like you, I continue to work towards trading my thorns for crowns. I have been wanting to write on this topic for quite a while now, so hopefully my thoughts are still as fresh as I need them to be. Decisions, we all have to make them and eventually we all have to live with them. I am assuming that all my readers are adults and at some point in your lives had to make some major decisions, however big or small, the decisions were made and whether good, bad, or ugly, you lived with your decisions. So let us talk about talk about them!

Not so recently, I went to a restaurant with some friends, I was quite familiar with the menu and knew what was good there and decided on my order easily. My friends on the other hand were visiting the place for the first time and just like most first timers, they did ask what was good, I shared my suggestions, but allowed them to make their own decision. Despite my suggestions, they decided to go for something different and that was okay by me because they were first timers. Our meals were brought to the table and everyone dug into their meals, and immediately you could tell that not everyone was happy with their choice. I was quite happy with my chicken parmesan dish, but it may have been too late for the others to change their order so they ate their food regrettably. They envied by chicken parmesan and some even asked to have a taste of my good meal choice . You might be wondering, what does this meal story have to do with living with our decisions, well, all that is just a simple example with no major consequences of how our decisions eventually live with us. While you are not dealing with eating bland food that could not be saved by any amount of salt and pepper, you are dealing with major life decisions that come with major consequences and you would want to make the right decision with those ones. Throughout this blog I want you to think about your major life decisions and how you live or have lived with them.

Major Life Decisions and living with the them

What are major life decisions? These are decisions that can literally change your life for the good or for the bad. These type of decision impact our lives in major ways, for example, what state should I move to? must I make a career change at this age? is this the right person to marry? etc. Major life decisions are what you live with and unlike deciding on what meal at the restaurant, they are far more complex to be taken lightly. Major life decision require more thought and discernment. Unfortunately, we have more people making major decisions without understanding the complexity of their choices. Whether the decision is good, bad, or ugly the lack of understanding the complexity is what we end up missing overall. If you have ever had to make a major life decision, then you should know by now that not every decision is fun to make and if you are like me, you would rather make the fun decisions and skip those though ones. But unfortunately life does not work that way and so we also have to make sound decisions for even the tough ones because we eventually live with them too. For every major life decision you make, remember that it manifests in your life and how it manifests is what lives with you. How are you living with those decisions?

If you have ever had to live the consequences of your decisions, then you know what it is like to either be glad you made that decision or regret making that decision. We want to think making decisions is the hard part, but have you ever lived through the bad decision you made? Such torture, right? and even though there might be someone to blame, you still made that choice too. Once we get to experience this type of regret with our choices, we then use to to make wiser choices and live with better consequences. Easier said than done for sure, but what would you rather live with? the good? the bad? or the ugly?

Decisions, Decisions and More decisions…. does it ever end?

Just when you thought you made the right decision, here comes another decision causing you sleepless nights as you try to rationally figure out what to do next…been there? there right now? I think we all have been there or are there right now and the question is when does it end? I personally think it does not end, as long as we are alive, we will have decisions to make. It is quite easy to despise major decision making, but do you realize that so much power lies in you making your decisions. I think God gave us the ability to decide so that we are able to see the power our decisions have over us. If you are like me and have made some good, bad and ugly decisions, then you know the power of your decisions really impact your life. With the many decisions we have to make in our lifetime, we quickly learn that our decisions have consequences and those consequences are what we live with. Because decision making will not end anytime soon for you, how best can you make sound decisions and live with them in harmony?

Making Sound Decisions

There are several ways to go about making wiser decisions that you will not have to hating living with the bad choices. I know this because I have made my share of bad decisions and if I just applied some of these listed below things could have been different. I hope these help you too;

  1. Seek counsel- with God, trusted family/friend, church counsellors (pastors etc)
  2. Realize there is power in your decision
  3. Don’t allow fear to decide for you
  4. Learn from your bad decisions and don’t repeat them
  5. Never make decisions under pressure
  6. Evaluate your decisions

God and Decisions

Here is the exciting part of the blog, some assurance that all of us can appreciate as we make decisions. God wants to be part of our decision making, he actually delights in us seeking his counsel regarding our major life decisions, even the ones we consider small. God wants us to make good and sound decisions that allow us to realize the power our decisions have over our lives. He gives us freedom with our choices and that speaks of a lot of his love for us. As complex as decision making is, it is comforting to know that God is willing to help us decide, our job is just to seek his Godly counsel. Living with your decisions under God’s counsel is the ultimate goal. Allow him to guide and help you on which way to go and most importantly what decision to make. Making decision is already hard and can oftentimes leave you frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, confused, restless just to mention a few. So why then complicate your decision making by trying to decide on major life decisions on your own? Check in with God and see what he has to say about your choices. His word in Proverbs sums this all up beautifully;

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and never lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path.

Proverbs 3 v 5-6

All in all, we can all admit decision making can be hard at times and can even be worse when we have to live with the bad choices we make. My final thoughts on this is that we do not always have to make the bad choices and learn from them later if we just start by making the right ones from now on. How do we do so? By not making these decisions alone! We seek counsel, we learn from past mistakes, we don’t take major life decision making lightly, we don’t allow fear to decide for us and we eventually decide on the right choice. It is time for us to make the right decisions and live with them. It is time for us to take our rightful place! It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Schooled by experience: What a book can’t teach you

Greetings Crowned Royals! I hope all is well with you and your loved ones. I am so excited to write again this week and share with you what has been on my mind of late. Writing on failure last week made me think of something closely related, but a much border topic that we will unpack together. While Failure falls under the entire scope of our life experience, it literally is a small segment of it when we think of our many life experiences and how they shaped us to be who we are today. There is a famous quote that says experience is the best teacher and I couldn’t agree any more. Experience teaches us things about us that the books can not even explain. Being schooled by experience is far more complex and it demands more of your character than it does our intelligence. So, what makes experience the best teacher hands down? To answer this question, think of your own experience; the lessons, the rewards, the surprises, the tests, the uncertainties, fears and how all of that helped shape you to be the person you are today.

What is it like to be schooled by experience

Being schooled by experience is like going on a experimental roller coaster ride blindfolded without any idea on when the highs and lows will hit you. You will be met with many highs and many lows along the way, yet you stay on the ride and hopefully pay attention and take some notes because there will be tests after each ride. When you being schooled by experience, you will notice how you are not being asked to memorize knowledge, but you are rather required to apply the knowledge to your life experience. It is very hands on and practical type of school experience.

Another thing you will notice while being schooled by experience is that comparing and copying off others life experiences will not work so well for your own. Life experiences are told differently by everyone because of how we handle the lessons taught from our highs and lows. Not everyone handles these lessons well, and maybe you haven’t done so well either other times when handed these lessons, but your work and effort to do better is a choice you make for yourself. Doing all of this is not an easy task, so teaching tools such as books can help better prepare for while being schooled. While books are a great teaching tool, they can only go so far in helping us mature than actual experience can do.

BOOKS as a Teaching tool

If you are not reading a book that will help your current life situation, please read something! God has blessed many people to write books on different aspects of life and he gave us his word the Bible that touches on every aspect on life. Books are a great teaching tool that provide you with insight and practical examples. From books we learn that we are not the only ones experiencing life’s highs and lows. The only thing the book can’t teach us is how to learn from our own unique experience. We have books that will help us learn and understand our situations better, so that even as we experience, we go in somewhat prepared. A book will give you a general overview, instructions, advise and commend you, but the work starts when you apply the knowledge of and make it practical for to your own experience. Here is what a book CAN NOT teach;

  • Your own unique purpose
  • Your resilience and tolerance during your lows
  • How to handle your own success and failures in life and move on
  • Your own perspective over your life
  • How to be patient and kind to yourself as you experience life
  • The choices you make and made had a huge impact on your life

EXPERIENCE as a teacher

Can we all admit that experience has thrown us some harsh lessons, I mean really harsh that for some of us it changed our way and meaning of life. Experience is the teacher that most of us wish we did not have to take a class with them or maybe skip a couple lessons and still expect to pass. Wrong! As you experience life more, you will soon realize that there are no redos or make up tests like it was in school. Life experiences are about how well you handled the highs and lows and what you learned along the way is more valuable than you can imagine. Experience as a teacher has the ability to wipe us into shape and despite some painful lessons we would be thanking it later. Experience teach us that success is good and so is failure. We will be faced with many tests and as we continue to learn, but experience as a teacher cheers us on to keep going and growing in the process. Experience will teach us the valuable lessons of life that we can then use to help others that continue to struggle. Once you are schooled by experience you will soon learn the important of every high and low in your life and not take it for granted. Here is what experience WILL teach you:

  • Your own unique purpose
  • Your resilience and tolerance during your lows
  • How to handle your own success and failures in life and move on
  • Your own perspective over your life
  • How to be patient and kind to yourself as you experience life
  • The choices you make and made had a huge impact on your life

God and experience

God created us to experience life in its fullness, he knew that we will experience all the highs and lows and was confident that we would through the process learn who we are and not quit on life because of it. For some of us, our experiences helped align us back to God’s will for our lives. We had to take those hard and painful lessons to be able to come back to where we should have been in the first place. God like any loving parent helps correct us through our experience and while the lesson was not pleasant at first, we were surely grateful. He used our experience for our good. God used our experience for our good! Let us see what scripture says:

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12 vs 11

To be trained by experience is good! There is a harvest that comes with you staying the course and making the choice to grow and transform from your own life experiences. Allow yourself to be trained by the best teacher and while you are at it utilize books and study the word of God. With that said, I hope you can now see that being schooled by experience is not such a bad thing after all. Through the entire process you get to learn who you are and understand why your experience was tailor made for you.

It is time for us to take our rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love!

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Always a winner: What happens when you fail

To win again you need to critically look at your failure and handle it well. -Xholiwe-

Hello Crowned Royals! Greeting from the winter wonderland land of Illinois. I hope you are doing wonderful and not quitting for nothing until you take your crowns. I thought of writing this week because I had many thoughts regarding failure and how most of us don’t take it so well. I totally understand us because let’s be honest failure is not not as exciting as winning. We all want to win, I mean who wouldn’t want to always be the winner? But what happens when you fail?

If you have ever played a good game of Monopoly with either friends or family, then you know not everyone takes failure very well. Remember when your competitive family member or friend lost all their money and property on Monopoly? How did they take that failure? I am guessing not so well and that was just in a game of Monopoly. Unfortunately, failure goes beyond the a fictional board game, even for the people that have always been winning in real life. Unexpectedly for some failure comes as a surprise and their inability to handle failure can be quite devastating. For people that are used to always winning, I want to tell you right now that failure is okay. Failure is not the end of your winning streak, and will not ruin your life. I hope after this blog the “f” word will be a comfortable thing for you to say without panicking.

What happens when we fail?

When we fail there are two ways we can go and the choose is usually up to us and how we handle our failures. You could either take the route that tells you are not enough because you failed in something or the route that says use our failure as a learning point to grow and mature. It is hard to take the second route if you have always been the winner, losing for someone who has always been a winner is so scary. But I don’t think many people are impressed by a story of someone who has always been winning. In fact, people don’t buy tickets to motivational speakers who have always been winning, what sales those tickets is that failure was involved. We have heard the stories of the winners and champions we admire and they have something in common and that is failure. They share on their failures and just for a second we look at their humanness and that they too are not exempt from it. But if these people took the route that told them they were not enough and should quit, then we would have lost champions because of their inability to handle failure well.

I get it failure does not feel good, starting over does not make any sense at all, but once you decide to take the route of growth and maturity from your failures then you are going to see failure much differently than you did before.

Changing your perspective on failure

A lot of us have looked at failure negatively because we live in a society that does not celebrate failure, if anything we would rather failure did not exist. We all want to win, winning is appealing and well celebrated. Think about how a winning sports team brings celebration to its fans compared to the losing team that leaves it’s fans devastated. For the team that lost, their failure allows them to look critically at their mistakes and how they could improve for the next game or season. Rather than allowing failure to devastate and overwhelm you, look at failure as a place to learn and improve yourself and not beat yourself up about it. Starting off from this perspective of failure will help you realize that your failure is your learning point and not the end of your perfect world of winning. To win again you need to critically look at your failure and handle it well. Some of us could admit that we have not handles our failures well, and that later even lead to our own destruction.

Your inability to look at failure positively will easily frustrate, anger, overwhelm, guilt, shame and discourage you when you do experience it. I totally understand the feeling and emotions that come with failure because I too have failed miserably in some areas of my life and if I allowed that failure to devastate me, then I would be telling a different story. The feelings that come with failure are valid, but you can’t not allow them to guide you through your failures. You are allowed to feel all the feels, but dwelling on them and letting them lead you is an absolute no. Allow yourself the time to mourn your failure, but quickly remind yourself that failure is a learning point and learn what you have to learn from it.

God’s view on failure

There many Bible stories that tell me that God was okay with failure. He worked with many flawed people that experienced major failure. I think of the many failures of David and how God still used him and lifted him up above all the failures. I think of the failures of Peter and how God still used Peter to build the church. God may have realized it before we did, that we would fail at some point in our lives and he hoped we would see it much differently and handle it much differently than we do. God views failure as a teachable moment for you and also a place that helps you grow into knowing who you are in him. God is not looking at your failure and thinking you are defeated because of it. He is hoping you are taking failure well and not allowing it to overwhelm you and take you away from trying again. He is hoping you are realizing that failure is inevitable and not a death sentence. Rather than looking at failure as a limitation as we look at it, God looks at it as a place of possibility. A place where we can mature and take a more accurate look at our failure and how it can help us grow and build resilience. With failure God would want us to see our humanness and that even we are flawed, but have a perfect God that is able use us despite our failures and shortcomings. Think about it, if God only used people that were always winners, how would the flawed related to their own failures? For example if God only used the perfect, how would the world we live in look at failure? much worse than it is today. We would think perfect is the only way to be used by God, but on the contrary, God is wanting to help and work with the person who embraces failure and handle it well. The word of God says this:

Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
    I will not be disgraced.
Therefore have I set my face like flint,
    and I know I will not be put to shame.

Isaiah 50:7

Let us face it, failure is usually much louder than winning especially in the world that magnifies the failures of others, so this verse should be comforting to all of us. Even in failure God will help us and we shall not be disgraced! Glory to God who shows us grace even in our failure.

With that said, I hope you look at your failure much differently than you did before. I hope you are able to change your perspective on your failures and how well you can handle them. Don’t hate me for saying it, but failure is good for you. Failure will help you grow, humble and mature you. Failure is a perfect teachable moment for you and God is most likely to be part of that moment. Realize that if you have not experienced failure or are like me and have had your share of failures, then your failure does not mean your defeat. There is still a lot of room to win! Before we jump into the winning court, learn from the previous failures and grow. It is time for you to take your rightful place! It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

The Fight of your Life: How can you win?

Hello Crowned Royals, I hope all is well with you and that you are doing your best to stay above ground as we wrap up this year. I know for some 2020 has been a long and hard year and for others it has been a year that allowed you to reflect on your life on a much deeper level. Looking back to this year might just show you at how much you had to fight off to stay above ground. While some had to fight a little harder than others, I think is safe to say that we were all fighting. We had to fight to stay sane, healthy, present, just to mention a few, nevertheless, life was still going on. I decided to write on the fight for your life because fighting for your life is not a one and done thing, but a continual fight that requires your resilience and will to stay standing in every battle ground you are thrown into. If you have ever been thrown into a fighting ring without any knowledge on how to fight your opponent then you might already be fighting a losing battle, but if you come in ready to fight with knowledge of who you are up against, then chances are that you are likely to win. Winning is the result we all should aim for, and if we have to win we need a whole lot more than only acknowledging that we are in a fight for our lives.

Story time: Before I became the girly girl I am today, I was mostly hanging out with my guy cousins and like very young boy back in the early 2000s, the boys loved to watch WWE (wrestling) and later play it on their video games. Because I was outnumbered by the boys, I too eventually got to love WWE and playing video games with them that involved fighting. Now that I think of WWE and playing fighting video games, there was one thing that was common, it was intimidation. How wrestlers in the ring would intimidate their opponents or how my bigger boy cousins will intimidate me was a common trend. In the fight of your life, you will also notice that even before you decide to throw any punches, your opponent will use intimidation to lower your chances of winning and most of us will flee without a fight. Once we give in into intimidation, we let go of our chance to fight and give the opponent the upper hand. One fighting story that just came to my mind is the historic biblical fight of David and Goliath. Goliath was David’s opponent and he did use intimidation to scare away David from attempting to fight, but little did he know that David was ready and had knowledge of his opponent and was training for this epic fight way before it happened. If you want to win the fight for your life then maybe you can start off my realizing that every fight requires your attention. If David was dismissive of this prior fights, how would he then have known how to fight Goliath? Pay attention, every fight is preparation for the next.

Know your own fight

The fight of your life may look nothing like another person’s fight because we all have our own circumstances that we are to overcome. One’s strategy to win may or may not work for you, but yours is to fight anyway. While others have to fight a little harder, others have less to fight for, but yours is to fight. I consider myself a fighter and in the amount of time I have been alive, I would like to think my fights were much more than others and at first I did not receive this revelation well. I thought why can’t I fight a little less like my friends do and just chill, but God knew best that I needed strength for the several other fights that will come my way. God has to build me to not be intimidated by my enemy, but to stay standing confidently knowing that God has my back. Maybe you are like me and you feel like you are in a constant battle that you want to win, I would encourage you to keep fighting. Will you like it at first? absolutely not! But nothing is more rewarding than the victory over a fight for your life.

Who are you fighting against?

Understand that the fight of your life is more spiritual than it is physical. Yes, your physically body does respond the your spiritual battle in some way. I remember when I was depressed, my body was just losing weight, even though I ate food normally. My body was responding in stress when things and people were constantly frustrating me. My physical body was extremely tired and beat down even though I was not in a physical fight. The fight of your life will require more of you and your spiritual attention. The bible says we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places [Ephesians 6:12]. Who have you been fighting? Have you been fighting the wrong person all this while and have been unable to win? The Bible let’s you know who you are up against and in order to win your battle the first step would be knowing who you are up against. When you are constantly fighting people and not what is backing their fight towards you then winning will be a far reach for you. So how can you win?

6 ways that can help you win your fight

  1. Know your opponent: you have to know who you are up against, you have to study their ways and build your strategy in order to win. You can’t come to a fighting ring without knowledge of who you are up against. So who are you up against for the fight of your life? Your answer is in Ephesians 6:12. So where is the fight ring? in the spirit, how do you fight in the spirit since it is not physical? answer is #2
  2. Prayer: Because you can not fight darkness, principalities, wickedness physically, you fight them in prayer grounds. Prayer is your weapon, use your words to win the fight of your life. Pray unceasingly because the fight for your life is a continual battle.
  3. Faith over fear: Some battles we have never experienced can be scary at first glance, but build you faith from it. Place your faith in God’s ability to help you win. Remember that this is not the first battle God helped you through.
  4. Don’t be intimidated: If you know your opponent, you know that they use intimidation to stop you from fighting, but you will make the choice to be bold and brave knowing that God is backing you up and that yours is the victory.
  5. Remember your training: If this is not the very first fight of your life, then you are to remember how you overcame and won your other fights. Even those small fights you consider irrelevant, there is something that could be used for your next battle.
  6. Apply your training: No, you will not just allow intimidation scare you away, but you will apply what you have learned over the years. Your will pray precisely and physically identify the wickedness, power, darkness that showed up in the people around you before taking your win in the spirit.

Once you begin to fight the right opponent and do it unceasingly for every battle ground you are thrown into, I tell you from experience that you will win. I will leave you with this encouraging verse as you pick up your weapons and fight for your life.

Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

1 Timothy 6 v 12

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Never settle: Escaping Dysfunction

Hello crowned royals! I hope you are all doing well and staying steadfast in the Lord. What a year 2020 has turned out to be right? Huge sigh. However, I can’t help it but imagine that God is up to something that will bring ultimate healing for not just us as individuals, but an entire nation! Now that is some good news! Well, what I would like to talk about as per usual is individual healing. Part of individual healing comes from never settling, settling can mean many things to different people, but this time around I want you to look at from the lenses of dysfunction. Ever worked with a tool or appliance that did not work like it should? I have! I once used a loosened hammer that broke of the handle and hurt my foot a couple of times. Also, fairly recently I have tried to make a rice cooker work when clearly the appliance has been exhausted and I would need to buy something new. Can you tell what I was doing to myself while operating these dysfunctional items? I was constantly hurting myself and not producing. Could I have do things differently? Absolutely! While, this may not make sense to some, this may make sense to some of you that have constantly settled in a life of dysfunction and have had enough. For this blog I want us to ask ourselves this question, what have you settle for that is dysfunctional? The other question is, how do you escape?

Never settle in dysfunction

The idea of dysfunction may not reside in one’s mind as a call for making a difference or changing the narrative, but rather most of us have normalized dysfunction and sadly even settled in it. Dysfunction by simple definition is abnormality or something not operating normally or properly. Take a minute to think about any situation in your life that you consider abnormal and check yourself to see if you have settled. Have you told yourself that is just the way it is? and eventually have concluded by saying what there is no point of changing things. Then you have clearly chosen to settle. You have settled in dysfunctional relationships, dysfunctional work places, dysfunctional churches and the list is endless? I totally get you, I have been in a place in my life where dysfunction seemed normal. I settled quite a few times then after a couple cycles around the same situation, I believe I got fed up and had enough and hence my desire for change grew even more. Remember that hammer I talked about earlier? How it constantly would hurt me because it was dysfunctional? If the hammer was tightened to the handle that held it and operating normally, then I wouldn’t have be constantly hurt from it. One way to know that you have settled in dysfunction is how constantly you are hurt from a situation, but go right back to it. Doing this all the time eventually can lead you to repeated cycles of dysfunction that can easily make you believe that nothing can change. However, God calls us to make that change and never to settle. God being a God who knows no confusion will not operate in the dysfunction you have settled in, but rather he calls you out of dysfunction and brings you out from the places you decided to settle. There is more that comes from the liberation of never settling in dysfunction. I am talking about more peace, love, joy, rest, hope and assurance. If you were like me and you had enough, then it may be time to plan your escape.

Escaping dysfunction

How do you escape something that you have already normalized and settled in? I wish there was an easy way out, but because of my own experience I can assure you it may be the toughest thing you have to do, but it is totally doable! First of all, don’t let others talk you out of escaping dysfunction. Secondly, which I think is the most important is that you don’t allow yourself to talk yourself out of it. Think about how many times you came to the realization that things just didn’t seem right, but you went on with it anyway. Think back to the many years that constantly brought you hurt and this time commit to planning your grand escape. For this you will need a whole lot of Jesus and a hint of will power if you want to see a difference in your life or change the narrative. Below are a few steps to get you positioned and ready to find normality from what has been abnormal in your life and that eventually led you to settle:

  1. Do your research; what is normal and what is abnormal? This could be in any area of your life. For example, what does a normal healthy relationship look like and compare that to a dysfunctional relationship.
  2. Examine yourself; What have you settled in that is dysfunctional. This is where you can write things down and read them back to yourself.
  3. Recognize and reflect; This is the part where you ask yourself why you settled in dysfunction. This can be a painful process because you may have think far back and see very similar cycles that have surrounded you even as a child. This may or may not include family cycles much similar to yours.
  4. Acceptance; This is so important and people often skip this and think living in denial will fix all the dysfunction. The elephant is the room is staring your right in the face. Acceptance will help you identify those specific areas.
  5. Prayer and commitment; If you are not praying and committing to this escape then all the other steps will be pointless. Prayer still works! Ask God to help you escape and commit to getting out by any means necessary.
  6. Pick your support; Who will remind you to keep putting the effort? Get yourself around people who either have escaped dysfunction or are doing exactly what you are trying to do. Pull from each other strength and courage to escape dysfunction.

While these steps are not scientifically proven, I speak based off my personal experiences of escaping dysfunction. I know what it feels like to reach at your wits end and literally start to desire a clear escape that will give you peace of mind. Like I mentioned earlier, it is not easy, but when God gets involved and you are positioned, you will see the change! Here is some scripture for you as you being to escape dysfunction;

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, [insert your name here]. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.

2 Chronicles 20 v 17

I pray that you begin to desire normalcy in your life and also clearly identify what your have settled for. I pray you make your escape from dysfunction and find the peace of mind from finally deciding to make a change. I hope you see that your life can be different and more fruitful because of your decision to no longer settle in dysfunction. I disagree with you, it is not just how it is, you can no longer settle. Look to the Lord for help and escape that dysfunction. It is time for you to take your rightful place! It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Single mindedness: The power of a single mind

Photo by Jakari Ward on Unsplash
Unlike a double-minded person, you are not in a constant battle with your mind, but are settled in knowing exactly who you are and your God given purpose.
-Xholiwe

Hello crowned and quarantined royals! I hope this blog finds you well during these unprecedented times. It has been a while and it is apparent we talk about being single minded and the power it gives you. Often times we have found ourselves battling with double mindedness and because of the constant wavering in our minds, we are unable to fully come to a oneness in our minds. In a world full of many options, I could see why having a single mind is not easy. We are constantly presented with options, information, people, and places that making having a single mind almost impossible. However, we are called to be single minded, at least that is what my bible tells me. The bible says in James 1:8 that the ways of a double-minded person are unstable. If the ways of a double-minded person are unstable, what are the ways of a single-minded person? This is not rocket science, the ways of a single-minded person are stable. Stability is where the power of single mindedness plays a vital role in our lives. Before we go any further, this will be a good time to ask yourself if you are double-minded or single-minded.

No shades of gray

A couple weeks ago I was listening to the song by Jonathan McReynold called ‘No Gray’ basically the message from the song is hitting on double mindedness. In his song he says you have to either be white or black and avoid those gray areas in your life. We are not talking about literal colors, but our decisions, our convictions, our standards and our beliefs need to be distinct (black or white). The dangers of leaving all these in a gray area can easily lead to a wavering mind. Let us be honest, we have all been there (the gray areas), some of us more than others. We have flirted with different ideologies, made the wrong decisions, been with the wrong people, and at some point even lowered our standards all because our mind lacked stability. A result of doing so brought instability in many of our lives and for some right now it may only be the beginning. Understand that the gray areas lack structure and leave vital things that require stability in limbo. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to purposefully make distinct decisions because if not, you will be constantly falling into the unstable gray zones. You have to decide whether you want to sin or not (black or white) or whether you want to obey or disobey (black or white) and the list goes on. Avoid the gray zones by all means necessary because the gray can very easily result in a seed of doubt and with doubt comes wavering and with wavering comes instability. With that, take some time to think about the gray areas in your life that you can shift and stabilize.

Training the mind to be single-minded

Newsflash! Having a single-mind does require training. Remember I told you earlier that it is not easy. Even the great women and men of God had to train their minds. We need to understand that the mind most of the time takes most of the information it is presented, and it is almost like we communicate with it on what we keep and what we don’t keep. For example, I was not a fan of math in high school and still not a fan now, do I remember all the math information presented to me? absolutely not! But you know what I remember from high school more vividly is the moments spent with my high school friends. I am not an expert on minds, but a simple step to train your mind is filtering information presented to you. Not all information needs to be absorbed, especially not math formulas for me lol. Training the mind does take time, so allow yourself some time because you can not wish yourself into being single-minded. Single-mindedness can be built by self-discipline and commitment. Can we be real though, self-discipline and commitment is surely not a walk in the park too. But we have to constantly work on them if we hope to be single-minded. Do something that will build self-discipline and commitment; it can be a small task like working out three times a week or a big project like redecorating your home. Do anything that will require for your to complete it. Make the simple strides first and keep at it. You got this!

The power of being single minded

Once you are constantly in the habit of training your brain to aim for one thing, you are way on your way to realizing the power of single-mindedness. Like I mentioned the power of single mindedness is in the stability of a person. While the world competes for power through money and authority, a single-minded person is already one step ahead because of their stability. With stability you are able to quickly identify what to do and what not to do. Stability also allows you to be in the right state of mind and hence make right decisions. Unlike a double-minded person, you are not in a constant battle with your mind, but are settled in knowing exactly who you are and your God given purpose. Therefore, if you want to move forward in purpose begin with a single mind. Here is some scripture for you;

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

Matthew 6 v 24

The scripture speaks of the inability for one to serve two masters and uses the perfect example that some, not all continue to battle with. But when given the power of a single mind picking between money and God shouldn’t be complicated. Let us take it further, it is just not money and God that people have a wavering mind. It can be honor or dishonor and other times it can also be toxic relationships versus healthy relationships and the list goes on. See why you can not afford to be in the gray zone? It is time to tap into the power of single mindedness and embrace the power it gives you.

My last words regarding single mindedness are that, there are no shortcuts to getting there. If you have always been single-minded cheers to you, but for the rest we have to put in the work and realize the power we get from it. From now on be distinct (What is your black or white). Avoid those gray areas because they often times lead you into deep trouble. I am confident that you will begin to work towards developing a single mind. It is worth it! It is time to take your rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

The Unexpected Blessing of Suffering

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash
For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

Hey Crowned Royals! I hope you are doing wonderful! It is hard to believe that we are already in a new month and this close to spring. There is something about seasons changing that always reminds me that even the suffering we go through in our lives will pass too just like the seasons. I thought this week we should talk about suffer and I will start us off with this question. What are the unexpected blessings that come from suffering? I am reading a wonderful book by Nika Maples called Hunting Hope that will help us answer this question and see the unexpected blessings in our suffering. If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it! (am not being paid to say this, but it is a good book especially if are losing hope and want to hunt for it!

Suffering by definition is the state of going through pain, distress or hardship, and we all have been there sometime in our lives. How did suffering come into your life? was it the lose of a loved one, was it financial struggle or stressful work-life balance? We all have been there so please don’t feel alone. There are many reasons why we despise our time of suffering and if I could share a list we would see a lot of similarities. While we all have legit reasons to despise our suffering, we also fail to understand the reasons for it. In my on sufferings I never understood why it had to be me to go through harder situations and I am guessing you too have felt that way. It is not until I went through the entirety of my suffering that made it clear to me there was not just one, but several unexpected blessings God showed me later. Is there any unexpected blessing that came from your suffering?

Our initial struggle with suffering as human as we are is that we are creatures of comfort and suffering let’s be honest brings discomfort. Because we want the immediate comfort, we either hasten ourselves to get out of the suffering or find comfort in the pain. Those of us that hasten find ourselves seeking comfort in the wrong things and miss the blessings because we needed a quick fix. Those of us that find comfort in pain lose hope and miss the blessings because enduring the suffering till the end felt impossible. I don’t know where you fall in these two categories, but I know from my experience that there always comes blessings from your suffering. Two sure blessings that come from suffering that Nika Maples shared in her book were refined character and oneness with Christ. We will look at both blessings in this blog and hopefully by the end of this read you will understand why you had to suffer for a season.

The blessing of a refined character

Ever thought you could polish up your character and be a better person for you and others? Well, hard to believe that the blessing of suffering refines our character. How is that even possible when you feel defeated to refine your character? That is the whole point, suffering will almost give you a version of yourself that you often couldn’t see because you were comfortable. It is in that very difficult time that our characters are refined and we see the good, the bad and the ugly of ourselves. Have you ever seen an arrogant wealthy man lose all his money remain the same arrogant man after suffering a financial loss? What happens to the wealthy man is that his arrogance is revealed in his suffering and that is an opportunity for him to change that or now become an arrogant poor man. The whole point of this example is for you to think of yourself and what parts of your own character can be refined by your past or current suffering. God wants to work with us, but he needs to refine us and refining happens in the heat of our suffering. Gold is refined in fire for reason, the heat from the fire sheds of the impurity from the gold and makes it pure. Without the heat it is impossible to purify the gold and present it to the world. Your character goes through the exact process as the gold, so the choice is on you. Do you turn the heat off and miss the blessing of refined character or endure till the end and come out refined? Here are a couple of scriptures on refined character;

Therefore this is what the Lord Almighty says:

“See, I will refine and test them,
    for what else can I do
    because of the sin of my people? Jeremiah 9:7 (NIV)

The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold,
    but the Lord tests the heart. Proverbs 17:3 (NIV)

See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
    I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. Isaiah 48:10 (NIV)

The Blessing of Oneness with God

How do we become one with God? We become partakers in his suffering. Through our own suffering we are able to fully understand God’s sufferings and we too can boast in our own sufferings that created endurance. I am enamored by several people in the bible, but when it comes to suffering and endurance, I learn a lot from Paul. Paul was a mighty man of God who experienced so much persecution for the sake of the gospel. He suffered for what Jesus suffered for, the truth to reach all people. The blessing of oneness with God is that you will also like Paul suffer for the truth and later you will be greatly rewarded for you shared in the sufferings. Oneness with God is a blessing because God now can entrust you to give truth to others. When we come into oneness with God through suffering, we are then well prepared for the sufferings we have not even experienced yet. God equips you for the suffering you endure and brings you to a place of understanding. However, if you lack the understanding of your suffering, you will be unable to comprehend where God has equipped you so that you are able to endure. Hence the need of oneness with God that allows for a clear understanding of your suffering aligned to his own sufferings.

For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

2 Corinthians 1 v 5-7 (NIV)

Last words, there is comfort in Jesus. The unexpected blessings of suffering are far more worth than the temporal fix of comfort or lose of hope. There is no need to hasten yourselves when God is helping refine your character so that it is more like his own. While suffering is difficult, your endurance and perseverance will surely create good character, which is such a great blessing for you and others around you. With refined character God is able to use you for his glory. Also, while you take part in your sufferings, you take part in his for the sake of the gospel. With your sufferings, you join some of the mighty men and women of God such as Paul that endured for the sake of truth and the received his greatest blessing, the oneness with God and the reward of eternal life in Christ. Use your suffering as training and testing ground! Do not despise it. It is time for us take our rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Embarked Journey: Road to Damascus

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash
As you embark on this journey know your destination. Know that there may be some set backs and be okay with that as you move forward.
-Xholiwe

Hello Crowned Royals! Happy new year! Here we are alive in a whole new decade that should mean something to you. I am so glad we made it because I have a feeling that this year will be set up for more people seeking to trade their thorns for crowns. Since we are in a new year, I am pretty sure a lot of us are geared towards a fresh start for several thing regarding our lives. I consider it an embarked journey that we have set on and the thing about journeys is that you just never know what may happen while you are on them. For someone who has traveled a fair amount of times, embarking on a new journey is often exciting and concerning because I have a prediction on how the journey will go or will not go and so I prepare for it. But let’s be real, we all have experienced delayed flights, bad weather conditions, lost luggage, flat tires, tired bodies and the list goes on. I know it can be very frustrating because we have places to go and things to do and what we don’t need is a set back right? Well in the same way, how does this relate to your own life journey? You have embarked on this new journey, let’s call it flight 2020 and you have your predictions and intentions nailed down, are you going to be okay with any set backs as you journey to your destination? If not, I suggest you continue to read this blog. If yes, you still need to read this blog. It is for everybody on a journey, which would apply to all of us.

I have the perfect example from the bible of a guy that embarked on a journey with his predictions and intentions all nailed down, only to be completely changed by God on his way to what seemed to be right at the time. Yes, you guessed it! it is the Apostle Paul! Towards the end of 2019, I was studying the book of Acts and got to the story about Paul’s conversion while he was on the road to Damascus. Then Saul, before his conversion to Paul embarked on a journey to Damascus with the prediction that he was going to kill any Jesus followers of that time. His intention for this journey was to kill those that followed Christ, only to be dumbfounded by God’s direct approach to him. How many of us have been dumbfounded by God in the midst of our ill-intentions towards others and were stopped? I know I have and till this day am grateful that God intervened. In Paul’s case, the set back in his journey was necessary because many people that followed Jesus would have died. In our case the set backs are necessary too, maybe your intentions for this journey is not to kill thousands of people, but you may be seeking revenge towards a person/people or you have started your journey off with the same bitterness you had last year. God will surely have to intervene just like he did with Paul so that there is a change of heart. Your job is to be sensitive to the promptings that come from God and not your flesh as you embark on this new journey. I know from experience that if I gave in into my flesh, I would be dealing a whole lot of unnecessary internal conflict with myself and external with others. What are your internal and external conflicts? Are the worth you missing your final destination. Keep in mind that destination is different for many of us. While you destination maybe revenge (not recommended), another person’s destination may be healing or clarity from God, so as you embark on this journey know your destination. Know that there may be some set backs and be okay with that as you move forward. This applies to whether or not your intentions are pure on your journey.

I honestly believe this new journey should be different for most of us especially if we have been making the same predictions and betting on the same intentions that got us nowhere in the past. God certainly wants to do something different and walk with us on new journey we have embarked on. I recently put up a post on Instagram on submitting. I will say it like I said it on my post, the word submit is the most dreadful word in the times we are living in because people wants to know what is in it for them. We tend to dismiss God’s will and direction for us because we are set on our own ways, and so submit sounds like an insult. While our ways may make a lot of sense to us, If God’s will doesn’t match, we might be going around several unnecessary cycles. Do know that Paul was not the only one stopped by God so that the will of God would be fulfilled? Think of Jonah, he too embarked on the journey clearly instructed by God, but he decided to go a different direction and we know that God had to intervene mightily in Jonah’s case. Again, people’s lives were at sake if Jonah did not deliver that message to Nineveh. Thousands would have died at the hands of one man’s change in direction. What will your change in direction cost others? How many people’s will die because you can not deal with set backs? Food for thought. Submitting is not a punishment, but a blessing. Walking in God’s will is the best thing you could do for yourself and those connected to you. Let us look at scripture that will help us moving forward on our journey;

Then they said to him, “Please inquire of God to learn whether our journey will be successful.” The Priest answered them, “Go in Peace. Your journey has the Lord’s approval”

Judges 18 v 5-6

From the many journeys embarked in the bible, which are many! I think most of them have one thing in common, they were approved by God. Your journey should not be left out on this list. Some of our embarked journeys do not have the approval of God because of the ill intentions behind them. So when God wants that to change, you are likely to expect some set backs as he works on a change of heart. In other cases, your intentions are pure and all you want to do is please God, you might experience some set backs in that too, but before you get mad and throw your fist at God, figure out the reason for the set back. It may be God telling you that there are parts of you that still need some working on before you get to your destination, but you are on the right path. I hope we all inquire from God as we move forward and take on flight 2020 with a sensitivity to his promptings and not our flesh. Like I mentioned earlier, submitting to the will of God is not a punishment, but a blessing. Rather than embarking on this journey on your own, allow for God’s direction because he sees far ahead than we do.

My last words for you as you embark on this new journey are, take it easy and stop pressuring yourself to have it all figured out. Just like the verse in Judges said, inquire from God first, then get your approval because this life journey is not one you have to do alone. See you on the other side! It is time to take your rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Masks Off: Your honesty with God

Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

Hey Crowned Royals! I don’t know about you, but these winter days are what I live for, which also means I should be working out little more because all these holiday treats are not helping this sister out. While winter is not for everyone, I hope you make the most out it this year. On a less wintry note, I wanted as to talk about masks and how masks have kept most of us from being honest with God regarding who we truly are, where we are in life and how we hope God works in our lives.

Here is a disclaimer, this blog is not going to address physical masks that are visible to the human eye, we will talk about the masks that are impossible for human eye to identify, but there a lot of masked people right now. Solely, the purpose of a mask is to hide the true identity of a person. We all know that from the superhero movies we watch right? Marvel fan moment here, how messy would it be if people knew Spider-man’s true identity? I am guessing pretty messy because true identity is not always well received by others. Also, being able to say I am spider-man to everyone down the street without fear of being rejected, made fun of, and ridiculed would be wonderful. I hope you are thinking of your masks right about now because we have all worn some or continue to, at least I know I have. I wore the masks that misidentified me and rid me of who I truly was, where I was at in life and how I hoped things would change. I eventually came to realization that my masks had to come off, because I would still be doing well with keeping the masks on and acting like I had life figured out. So maybe you too have some masks on right now and are acting like you have life figured out, but like always I am here to burst your perfect little bubble. A life lived behind a mask only gives you so much to survive and never enough to thrive in who you truly are. You most certainly are surviving to keep up with the act, and from my experience, it can be exhausting. It can be exhausting to act like you are happy, when you are not. It can exhausting to act like you have money, when you don’t and the list is endless. If you are exhausted with all the acts, it maybe time to take those masks off and come clean with who you are, where you are at in life and where you need God to bring you. How do you do that you ask? Well, you get honest with God first. Are you honest with God?

Our honesty to God is not possible with masks on, if anything, it actually is a barrier. Perfect example is when Adam and Eve realized their were naked and hid in the bushes to cover up their sin towards God. While we are not hiding behind bushes, we surely have had some form of covering to mask some things in our lives. But wasn’t God still merciful and showed Adam and Eve grace? Yes! Despite their mess, he still provided them some form of covering that was not as shameful as hiding behind bushes. Most of us, have not stepped out of the bush or behind that mask because we fear, we are shamed, we are prideful, guilty and the list goes on. It will take complete honesty to come up out of that mask and own up to God. The beautiful thing about taking the mask off and being honest with God is that he gives you grace. I feel like often times we complicate grace and altogether miss it, but I listened to pastor Hart Ramsey this week, and he said something that I thought you can apply to your life. Pastor Hart Ramsey said this, “trying to get God to accept who you pretend to be will not render grace from him, but rather God is trying to get to the real you”. The you that messed up time and time again is the person God would render his grace to, not the person who you have decided to mask up in hopes that God will work some magic. God is not a magician, he is God. We often mistake God for people, and because we have experienced evil from the people we were honest with, we liken God to them. That my friend, is a wrong way to approach God in all honesty. God needs to see that vulnerability that we often hide from people in fear that we will be different. Our openness allows God the permission to work on us, after he renders grace, he works on us. Grace will unmask us and then allow us to know who we really are, where we are in life and where we want God to bring us to. When the masks come off, be prepared to see the good and the bad about you. When in the process of unmasking, don’t be quick to cover up again because all you see about you is bad, but rather let God know about it. He will be glad to work with an honest person that is willing to change and live a mask free life. Here is some scripture that tells you it is okay to unmask yourself;

13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Hebrews 4 v 13 (NIV)

There is no use hiding from God. He sees you, the real you. You maybe doing well with painting this false picture to your friends and family, but not with God. The scripture says that Nothing! Nothing is hidden in all creation to God. We exposed and naked before him, but unfortunately we also have convinced ourselves that God needs people that are perfect and can only speak in KJV. My bible says that he came for the sinners, not the perfect, he came to render mercy and desired it for sinners (read Matthew 9 v 9-13). The truth is that God is always willing to work with you, but only if you come to him in all honesty.

My last words, Be honest with God. Let him know exactly what is going on and do not leave out anything. You may even have to revisit some past experience to figure out why you wear certain masks, once you discover why, take that to God in all honesty. Have no fear for God has a covering for you, his grace! Allow for the all so powerful, loving, gentle and graceful heavenly father to help you through this process. Masks off! It is time to take our rightful place! it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love Royal Fam!

Xholiwe