Closed doors: Are they necessary?

It was closed for a reason, keep it closed and keep it moving.
-Xholiwe

Hey crowned Royals! Can we talk about how Portillo’s shut their doors on me a couple weekends ago? I was 2 minutes pass their business hours and they closed their doors on me. I remember saying I want an Italian beef sandwich to nourish my grumpiness and I decided to risk my life driving to beat the closing time. So I took off with hope and expectation that I will walk out of Portillo’s with an Italian beef sandwich, well that did not happen. I was welcomed by a closed sign and faces through the window clearly saying go away, but I was not going to just quit because of a sign and mean faces. I wanted Italian beef and was set on it, so I waved politely at the workers and nudged on the door. They did not even react to my actions and desperate need for food. The sign was up, it was closed, which meant that Portillo’s was no longer serving customers. However, I still thought of trying because maybe just maybe someone would see my desperate need for a sandwich. What ended up happening was that I left empty and disappointed, but it was not the workers fault and they were not obligated to open those doors for me. Also, lingering around in hopes that they would open the doors for me was a pure waste of time because I left without my sandwich. There is a moral to this story, I just didn’t plan to tell you about my disappointment and leaving you without a good word.

Moral of the story? Don’t go to Portillo’s two minutes pass their closing time and for the sake of this blog post keep the closed doors closed, there is a reason why they are closed. We all go through life experiencing closed doors, for most of us we get too curious to know what is behind the door and sometimes when we find out the hard way. I get it, because some closed doors don’t give us much detail, we didn’t know that the company we wanted to work for badly would file for bankruptcy and leave you out of a job. We didn’t know that the career path we chose would keep us miserable. We didn’t know that the people around us were really not for us. We just opened some wrong closed doors in hopes that it would be right. This is not where you beat yourself for opening the wrong closed doors, this is a place where you thank God that the closed doors were necessary for your growth and drew you closer to your destiny. I have had several closed doors and just like anybody else didn’t like that feeling of rejection, but now I look back to closed doors in job opportunities, career paths, relationships, friendship etc and I am so thankful. I quit aggressively nudging on closed doors that were closed for a reason and I would hope the same for you.

Closed doors can also be our past too, we go back to opening up past hurts and bruise the wounds that took us so much time trying to heal. Is it necessary? You are getting hurt over and over again because you keep going back to the closed door you have no business opening. It was closed for a reason, keep it closed and keep it moving. You can’t experience a great future, if you continue to live in the past. Understand that God will not close one door and leave you stranded. Trust that because that door was closed, God got a better plan. God is not a mean God that says “aha let me disappoint (insert your name)!” He knows what we need better than we do, so if a door closes there is a reason and as you continue to journey through life you will understand each reason for a closed door. God will protect you, he sees way ahead of us and can tell us;

  • it is time to close this door and move on
  • it is time to close this door for now, we may revisit it when we are more mature
  • it is time to close this door forcefully because it is dangerous and we refuse to listen
  • It is time to close this door because we need to be protected

Sometimes it does not have to take God to do the closing for you. You will be beat down and tired of trying to open this closed door that you personally decide to close it yourself. When you do so, realize that you did it for you and your better future. Celebrate yourself for loving yourself enough to close doors that are not fulfilling purpose.

Are closed doors necessary? Yes, they are necessary because rather than you staying stuck on that one door you get to a point where you challenged to grow and move pass it. Unfortunately, too many people stay stuck on a closed door in hopes that there is something there when God’s blessings for you already shifted and is waiting on you to leave that closed door. The doors God opens for you are one that no man on the face of the earth can shut, those are doors we should be seeking for.

I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

Revelations 3:8 (NIV)

My last word are that you should be okay with closed doors, be okay with keeping them closed too. It is not in your place to push on closed doors and end up disappointed. Like I mentioned earlier there is a good reason why God closed some certain doors that were not serving their purpose in you life, but rather these doors were hurting and discouraging. If you have been stuck at that closed today for way too long, I challenge you to walk away even two feet away and see what difference it will make for both your body and spirit. Remember this is all in the process of shifting from thorns to crowns! You got this!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

L’s are for Lessons

“Lessons are blessings in disguise”
-Xholiwe

“Wait, what? I know I did not take another L!” just when life felt like it was getting better, those words have come out of my mouth. L’s by definition from the urban dictionary are loses. We usually find ourselves talking about taking L’s when in conversation with our peers and it has been common to laugh about it and go home still trying to understand why are we are taking another L. L’s being loses sometimes come from a places of regret, shame, guilt, fear and denial. Sometimes it may not be as serious because we may have lost a bet and took an L. However, when life gets real for some of you, you take huge L’s that could literally change your life if you don’t look at it differently. There are some huge L’s that if we do not have a different perspective would take you down and out;

  • Lose of a loved one through death
  • Heartbreak; break up, separation, divorce
  • Lose of a job
  • Financial loses
  • Lose of business
  • Failing in school

The L’s that are listed are a few of many, but I believe at least a handful of people have experienced one of those L’s at some stage in their lives. There also are people that have experienced all the listed L’s and some. There are also people that have not experienced these major L’s, for you I say my prayers go out to you and when the L’s do come, be strong in the Lord.

I have taken some L’s too and sometimes ask myself, did this just happen again? I have lost loved ones, I have gone through heartbreak and often times that came with pain, regret, shame, guilt and fear etc. I missed that part that most of us miss, and recently have been trying to turn my thinking around my L’s and how I handle them. I am now asking myself, what is the lesson here Lord, what should I learn? This is a tough question for me, I am guessing it would be for you too because it can be hard to see lessons in the midst of your pain. How do I take the lesson as I deal with the lose of a loved one or a major heartbreak? Well, stop for a second and put the pain aside and spend sometime in prayer asking God what you need to learn from your L. When you do this, you discover more of your character and who you are in the midst of lose. If you communicate with God enough he will reveal to you all these questions you may have regarding your L’s. When he does, please do not ignore it and turn to your own conclusion.

Lessons are a blessing in disguise! We may not see it most of the time, but they are! I believe when we learn our lessons from our loses we are less likely to make the same mistakes. Another thing we do is be mad at God for losing a loved one and I thank God I quickly realized it was pointless and foolish of me to be mad. I was mad at God because I lost a loved one and it is not fun. Being mad at God for your loses does not change the fact that he is still God, but for you on the other hand, you are continue to struggle instead of going to God and seeking comfort in his presence.

Some of the lessons we learn have put us back in alignment with God’s will. There are certain L’s we took because of our own disobedience and God had to correct us. Just like any loving parent would to his/her child, God corrects us so that we are not lead to think our L’s are the end of us. When he corrects us sometimes it is can be unpleasant, but later on we are grateful because we changed for the better. Through the process, we got to improve our characters, understand more of God and his works and understand that L’s are for lessons.


No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,”[a so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:11-13

As a student, the thing you don’t want to be doing while the teacher is giving a lesson is being distracted, skipping class or asleep. Once you miss a fundamental step or concept, you will find it very difficult to pass the test. Same thing with God, as he is teaching us our lessons from major loses, let us not be distracted or asleep. When we do so, we set ourselves up for yet another L that may cost us more than the L we took before because we did not learn from the lesson. Learn your lesson, the future you will be grateful that you did!