Change Shock: What it feels like when change happens

Photo by Havilah Galaxy on Unsplash
The process is near its end and now the caterpillar has to be the butterfly.

Hey Crowned Royals! After being away for so long I think I would like to share with you my recent culture shock experience and how similar it is to making a change in our lives. I recently visited the beautiful country of Morocco and like every visiting tourist I was hit with culture shock. As soon as I landed in Casablanca I was in for a rude awakening, this was a different place, a different people, different languages and different daily way of life than I was used to. I was excited about all of this because it was a learning opportunity for me, but if I was to be honest I was not well prepared for it. You would think for some that studied International relations I would know exactly what to do, but I did not and so I needed all the help I could get. I could list a ton of situations that shocked me and left me wondering why do they do what they do the way the do it, however, since my blog aims to keep your attention we will talk about that over a cup of tea. One of many experiences is when people kept cutting the lines in stores, at the markets, at train stations and other places I visited, it did not happen all the time, but when it did I would be so shocked. Coming from a place were waiting your turn in line is so important it was hard for me not to wonder why the did not see the same importance of waiting in line. This one experience may not be as shocking as others, but when it happened it would leave me wondering. In a similar way change in our lives can come as a shock and leave us and others wondering. When we decide to change at first things will be different and the people around the change we want will also be different so we need to be ready for some change shock.

I remember making drastic changes early this year and I was beyond shocked at what I was capable of doing. As much as I was shocked, I wondered what could have happened if I did not make these changes. Was I scared? absolutely! The changes I had to make were very different from what I am used to. Since the changes were different I had learn how to manage them and not only stay in the state of shock. After the shock comes the learning. Often times we as people in the process of changes get stuck on the shock and never learn. In the case of my culture shock in Morocco, I had my best friend explain to me why people did what they did. She has lived in Morocco longer and knows the culture very well so she was a great person to learn from. She helped me cope with my shock so that I could learn this new culture. Same thing would apply to change, if you are in the process of change connecting with or learning from a person/people that made similar changes would help you shift from shock to learning to embrace the new change. Ask the questions that will help you process the change shock and be open enough to the advice or answers aimed towards clarifying your process. Change is not something you have to do alone.

So what does it feel like when changes happen? It totally depends on what kind of change. You changing your old car for a new one is very different from changing a bad trait you have or changing your entire way of life. The new car makes you feel good, but it is not something that will require you to dig in deeper into yourself and make serious life changes. When making changes that effect your life and those around you, you might want to be more serious about them. The feelings that come with changes regarding your life can shock you. When you make the change it is not always the good feelings because if you were honest you would rather stay the same. You would rather stay in the unfulfilling relationship, the unfulfilling job and the unfulfilling way of life because it is scary to change all that without being certain that things would get better. God never said live your life unfulfilled, but since change is scary people usually have opted for the surface level change that only gives you the good feelings. Problem with the surface level change is that it don’t last for so long. There is also change that cuts right deep into all of you and this type of change comes with a roller coaster of emotions. Once you get through this type of change and shift from shocked to learned you better feel good about it.

19 For I am about to do something new.

    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness.

    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Isaiah 43 v 19

This bible verse can speak to a lot of people including those that have made major life changes. People that have decided to change from their old ways to embrace new ones can relate to this verse. Angry people who want to change and be more gentle, selfish people who want to change and give more, rebellious people who want to change and be obedient etc. Do you see it? God is about to do something new because of your change. The process is near its end and now the caterpillar has to be the butterfly. The change was not familiar, but now you understand why you needed it. Because when God clears the pathway a lot of the things that did not make sense now do. The change was necessary for you and those around you. God allows us to go through the process of change because he knows that our change despite the heavy feelings will be worth it in the end. The story that comes to my mind when I think of change shock is Rahab in the bible. She went from being known as the harlot of the town and when she changed she was began the pathway in the linage of Jesus. I can only imagine her change shock that made her unfamiliarized herself with being the harlot of the town and now a woman of God. Also, when she changed she probably shocked people around her, those that knew her as a harlot probably were unable to fully comprehend what happened and were left to wonder. I don’t know what your change shock is, but you are better off unfamiliarizing with it and embracing the change that will make you better. People are watching you too and are shocked at how you are now different, so keep them wondering by making more changes.

My last words to you regarding change shock is that as long as you have made the decision to change expect shock to come. You and those around you will notice the change. It may not be something you are used to, but it is something that you will eventually learn and master. You don’t have to go through the process of change alone, speak with people that have made similar changes and learn from them how you can deal with change shock and all the feelings that come with it. God is already 10 steps ahead of you and is ready when you are to walk into your promise because you made the change. Get unstuck with thinking that if you change certain aspects of your life things will not get better because fear has gotten the best of you. The butterfly within you will not emerge if you are still a caterpillar trying to hold on to the old ways of your life. Push pass it and take your rightful place! It is time to shift from thorns to crowns!

Much love,

Xholiwe

Let your faith be greater than your fear

Giant leaps are not for wimps.
-Xholiwe

I am notoriously known for displaying inspirational quotes and bible verses and quite honestly find the pleasure in hanging up each and every one of them in almost every room in my apartment. These inspirational quotes and bible verses serve as a reminder for me especially when I am not so in tune with myself and just feel discouraged. I can’t pick a favorite quote or bible verse that is hang up in my house, but I would like to point out the canvas that hangs right above my bookshelf . I have many times glanced at this canvas that reads “let your faith be greater than your fear” and for the many times I have looked at this canvas, I have needed those words to help me look pass my fears and activate my faith. You probably don’t have this canvas that reminds you time after time that you have to let your fear be greater than your faith, but I hope this blog serves as a reminder for you. For those that are like me and have this displayed or hanging somewhere in your space, good for you, but let as dive more into the quote and learn ways we can apply it to our lives.

Fear often times has a way of limiting our abilities and strength to conquer all the obstacles we face as we journey through life. As humans we face some many different fears that it is very easy to notice each other fears without verbal confirmation. Have you ever noticed the fear the shy girl displays when she is asked to present her project to the whole class? Yeah, that fear of public speaking is easy to recognize, but what of the fear that you personally have and allowed it be greater than your faith. So maybe you fear is public speaking and because you have allowed this fear to limit your abilities to speak to larger crowds, it ends up taking away from your the desire to engage with larger crowds. I would like for us to understand that fear takes away, while faith adds to our lives. However, it is easy to hold on to our fears versus letting go because fear has a way of keeping us in our comfort zones while faith requires us trust God and step out of our comfort zones.

Understand that fear starts small and progressively gets bigger. In the same way, faith starts small and progressively can get bigger. In this case, the choice remains entirely up to you. You have the choice to either make your fears bigger or make your faith bigger and I would say pick the second choice. When you start to increase your faith, it is becomes easy to overcome your fear. Here is a practical example; I was feeling adventurous last year in Zambia and decided I wanted to zip-line from Zambia to Zimbabwe, but I feared! The thought of being over water at such a great height and only hold up by a couple of ropes was frightening. I remember shaking and thinking of backing out last minute, but I was already strapped in and only a few steps away from what I thought was my death. When the man that operated the zip-line let go of me for a second there I felt my heart drop, but once I saw the view, I was amazed and glad i did it! This whole experience that lasted only a minute was so profound for me that I am glad I did it! If I allowed my fear take over me, I would have missed out on such a beautiful view!

Faith requires more from us than fear does, but the difference is that faith is rewarding. I have met some people that have such great faith and they testify of how they stepped out in faith and that their lives were never the same again. They talk about the blessings that came from overcoming their fears and allowing their faith to be greater. These are people who took huge leaps and had faith only in God to step into their situation. I want us to realize that sometimes what stands between our fears and faith is us. We have to make the leap, whatever your leap is, you have to make. Giant leaps are not for wimps. Giant leaps require that unshakable faith that can withstand all your fears.

For we walk by faith, not by sight

2 Corinthians 5:7 ESV

All this was to say to you, let your faith be greater than your fear. You can overcome whatever fear that has stood between you and the life you much desire. Let faith arise in you and increase progressively so that it gets so big that there is no room for fear any longer. And whatever you ask you in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith (Matthew 21:22 ESV)