Posted on by thornstocrowns

Letting go of your regret: When you can not take back what happened

Not too long ago I sat down feeling such an immersed amount of regret as I recollected a situation that I thought was in my past. The more my thoughts replayed the situation, the more I sank into this place of wishing I could reverse the hands of time. I immediately felt trapped by this regret and deeply thought of how this situation did not only hurt me, but it hurt others. Like a fresh-cut wound, I felt a rush of emotion that caused me to break down. I asked the Lord, I thought I let this go, I thought I moved on, but why then do I feel this way? At that moment I hoped to get an immediate response, but it was just me and my thoughts of regret for a while. I know that I am not the only one who has felt this way, I want to assume we have all been in a place where thoughts of regret flooded our minds, and letting go of these thoughts of regret felt nearly impossible, but thanks to God he surely has a way out for us all. Let us together look into letting go of regret for the things that we could not take back.

When regret is louder than Grace

It can be hard to let go of regret when there is a constant reminder of our mistakes and failures. When thoughts of regret play louder in our minds we forget the grace God freely has given us. Letting go of regret starts with knowing God’s grace for us. No one works harder than the enemy to keep us away from this because he would rather the regrets permanently play in our minds, making it impossible to let go. Satan would rather you live in shame and guilt instead of walking in the forgiveness of God and the freely given grace through Christ Jesus. When the enemy wants to amplify all your regrets, run to Christ. He wants to condemn you, but unfortunately for him, he can not keep you there because in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation. (Romans 8:1).

forgiveness and its role in letting go of regret

There is a lot of forgiving to do in most regrettable situations. When we do not forgive, ourselves and the people we may have hurt, or those who hurt us, we easily can stay trapped in feelings of regret. It is almost like walking around with an open wound and hoping we do not bleed. Of course, you will bleed if you go around with an open wound, so then you will need a covering to stop the bleeding. Our cover for this wound would be forgiveness. If you want to let go of regret forgiveness plays this role. It covers you and allows you to heal and move forward. If it was for your mistakes and failures seek Jesus and if it is because others hurt you forgive them. (Matthew 6:14).

mOVING FORWARD AFTER REGRET

Regret is a humbling way to remind us of God’s redemption. He gives us a way forward from all our regrets. It is not just with us, many people in the Bible too had regrets. God’s very first creation of mankind Adam and Eve had deep regrets about eating that fruit and leaving the garden. Abraham and Sara regretted having a child outside their marriage even after God’s promise to bless them. King David had many regrets, just read Psalms. I could go on with this list of biblical figures who like us experienced regret, but what all of us have in common is God’s redemption that moved them forward. They could have easily dwelled on their regrets, but if we want to use them as an example, we could learn from them. They moved forward with faith in God knowing he had a redemptive plan for them, God has a redemptive plan for us too! We no longer have to hold on to our regrets, but we can look forward to what is ahead. Here is what Paul has to say:

13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3: 13-14

Regret is behind us, we are graced by God to move forward through Christ Jesus. I just don’t want you to think that letting go of regret is an easy thing to do. For some knowing of God’s grace, forgiving, and realizing there is a redemptive plan can take a while, months even years. However, if you want to start to let go of regret make it a mandatory act to run to Christ when to spend too much of your time recollecting your regrets. Proceed to seeking forgiveness and forgiving others and not dwelling on your regrets. You surely can not take back what happened but you can surely trust God to work all things for your good, might I say, even your regrets! (Romans 8:28). It is time for you to take your rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

The Villain in the story: Why them?

The villain lurks into your strengths and weakness so that you never see the attack coming.
Xholiwe

Hello Crowned Royals! I don’t know if you feel like I feel, but I have one question for January 2020 “What’s with the rush?”. I am guessing not everyone will feel the same, but January is almost gone and there is still a lot more to do. On a less shocking January note, I was hoping to talk to you all about villains in the story. I am a huge Disney fan in case you don’t know, so I am heavily invested in many stories that Disney shares through film. One common element that creates the perfect story line is the villain. Often times the villain is overlooked, but surely they play a vital role in each story. In a Disney movie, there is no guessing what is good and evil. The villain’s intentions, motives and desires seek to destroy that which is good. The good characters in the story seek to overcome the evil caused by the villain. I hope you know where I am going with this regarding your own life. While your story is far from the perfect Disney fairytale, you can agree with me that you have in some point in your life come face to face with the villain in your story. My question for the sake of this blog is, why them?

what is the role of the villain in your story

The distinct role of the villain in your story is to distort what you deemed to be the life you were supposed to live. Like an interruption to your perfect story line, the villain comes suddenly without your knowledge. The villain lurks into your strengths and weakness so that you never see the attack coming. They study your strengths and your weaknesses so that they know exactly where to interrupt you in your story. While you think it is a sudden attack, the villain carefully crafts their attack that range from days to years. The attack is one that can destroy all that you considered your life be and then later it doesn’t make sense to live. Realize that the motives and desires of the villain like I mentioned earlier are to destroy that which is good. Now that we know the role of the villain, let us answer this question; why them?

Question: Why them?

Just like most Disney stories and even some great Bible stories, the question that still lingers is why them? It could have been a stranger that barely knows us, but usually it never turns out that way. It is the people closest to us that know our weaknesses and have mastered our strengths that turn out to be the villain. The perfect example is from the Lion King, my all time favorite movie from Disney. So the villain in this great story line is not just a regular lion that is part of the pride, but Mufasa’s brother and Simba’s uncle Scar. Scar desires the throne, but since he knows it is impossible he creates his own narrative that destroys the lives of others. Scar knew more about his brother and nephew than any other regular lion would, so he used the knowledge he had to craft his attack. The unfortunate truth is that the people that know more about you are most likely the ones that end up being the villains. For some it may have been that uncle that knew you were vulnerable and raped you. For others it may have been that step mother or father that abused you. For majority of us, it was the people we chose to trust and they turned out to be the villain in our story. So why them? Why is it the ones that we love? The ones that we trust? They ones we chose to be vulnerable to? I wish I had the perfect answer that would make you jump up and dance, but I hope you heal with your tears as things come to your mind. If you are still the person that has not risen above the attack from the villain in your story, I think it is time you triumph over evil.

What is your role?

The success of every Disney story and Bible story is that the good person always wins. Notice how they never die and take their pain to their graves? Even when they are completely at their weakest, there is a moment that they rise up and overcome the evil that plagued their lives. Your role in your own story is to overcome! You have the exact strength to rise up and overcome the evil that has plagued you for way too long. You have a vital role in your story line that can change all that was meant for evil towards you to good. Here are a few things you should be doing while you seek to overcome:

  1. Learn some lessons- what did the villain’s attack teach you?
  2. Find better ways to deal with pain rather than taking it with you to your grave.
  3. Master your own strengths and weaknesses.
  4. Still be good, even if you have every reason to be evil.
  5. Face your fears!
  6. Work with others- Cinderella had mice friends, Simba had Timon and Pumba and Elsa had Anna. Build a healthy circle of people around you. You can’t do this alone.
  7. Rise up! Nothing happens for people that sit in their misery.
  8. Remind yourself always that you are able to change what was meant for evil into good!
  9. Love always wins!
  10. Give yourself and others grace- that means you have to forgive yourself and the villain if you want to move forward. Very hard to do and it takes time, but it has to be done.

I hope this list helps you being your process to triumph over evil. It is possible because so many times in my own life, I have made the choice to triumph over evil. If you don’t believe me, at least believe the word of God that say;

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12 v 21

My last words, Show that villain that their evil will not end your story line. The attack may have been an interruption to the story, but is certainly doesn’t end there. There is more your story has to tell and inspire people to overcome evil for good! It is time for you to take your rightful place! It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love!

Xholiwe