Posted on by thornstocrowns

Masks Off: Your honesty with God

Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

Hey Crowned Royals! I don’t know about you, but these winter days are what I live for, which also means I should be working out little more because all these holiday treats are not helping this sister out. While winter is not for everyone, I hope you make the most out it this year. On a less wintry note, I wanted as to talk about masks and how masks have kept most of us from being honest with God regarding who we truly are, where we are in life and how we hope God works in our lives.

Here is a disclaimer, this blog is not going to address physical masks that are visible to the human eye, we will talk about the masks that are impossible for human eye to identify, but there a lot of masked people right now. Solely, the purpose of a mask is to hide the true identity of a person. We all know that from the superhero movies we watch right? Marvel fan moment here, how messy would it be if people knew Spider-man’s true identity? I am guessing pretty messy because true identity is not always well received by others. Also, being able to say I am spider-man to everyone down the street without fear of being rejected, made fun of, and ridiculed would be wonderful. I hope you are thinking of your masks right about now because we have all worn some or continue to, at least I know I have. I wore the masks that misidentified me and rid me of who I truly was, where I was at in life and how I hoped things would change. I eventually came to realization that my masks had to come off, because I would still be doing well with keeping the masks on and acting like I had life figured out. So maybe you too have some masks on right now and are acting like you have life figured out, but like always I am here to burst your perfect little bubble. A life lived behind a mask only gives you so much to survive and never enough to thrive in who you truly are. You most certainly are surviving to keep up with the act, and from my experience, it can be exhausting. It can be exhausting to act like you are happy, when you are not. It can exhausting to act like you have money, when you don’t and the list is endless. If you are exhausted with all the acts, it maybe time to take those masks off and come clean with who you are, where you are at in life and where you need God to bring you. How do you do that you ask? Well, you get honest with God first. Are you honest with God?

Our honesty to God is not possible with masks on, if anything, it actually is a barrier. Perfect example is when Adam and Eve realized their were naked and hid in the bushes to cover up their sin towards God. While we are not hiding behind bushes, we surely have had some form of covering to mask some things in our lives. But wasn’t God still merciful and showed Adam and Eve grace? Yes! Despite their mess, he still provided them some form of covering that was not as shameful as hiding behind bushes. Most of us, have not stepped out of the bush or behind that mask because we fear, we are shamed, we are prideful, guilty and the list goes on. It will take complete honesty to come up out of that mask and own up to God. The beautiful thing about taking the mask off and being honest with God is that he gives you grace. I feel like often times we complicate grace and altogether miss it, but I listened to pastor Hart Ramsey this week, and he said something that I thought you can apply to your life. Pastor Hart Ramsey said this, “trying to get God to accept who you pretend to be will not render grace from him, but rather God is trying to get to the real you”. The you that messed up time and time again is the person God would render his grace to, not the person who you have decided to mask up in hopes that God will work some magic. God is not a magician, he is God. We often mistake God for people, and because we have experienced evil from the people we were honest with, we liken God to them. That my friend, is a wrong way to approach God in all honesty. God needs to see that vulnerability that we often hide from people in fear that we will be different. Our openness allows God the permission to work on us, after he renders grace, he works on us. Grace will unmask us and then allow us to know who we really are, where we are in life and where we want God to bring us to. When the masks come off, be prepared to see the good and the bad about you. When in the process of unmasking, don’t be quick to cover up again because all you see about you is bad, but rather let God know about it. He will be glad to work with an honest person that is willing to change and live a mask free life. Here is some scripture that tells you it is okay to unmask yourself;

13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Hebrews 4 v 13 (NIV)

There is no use hiding from God. He sees you, the real you. You maybe doing well with painting this false picture to your friends and family, but not with God. The scripture says that Nothing! Nothing is hidden in all creation to God. We exposed and naked before him, but unfortunately we also have convinced ourselves that God needs people that are perfect and can only speak in KJV. My bible says that he came for the sinners, not the perfect, he came to render mercy and desired it for sinners (read Matthew 9 v 9-13). The truth is that God is always willing to work with you, but only if you come to him in all honesty.

My last words, Be honest with God. Let him know exactly what is going on and do not leave out anything. You may even have to revisit some past experience to figure out why you wear certain masks, once you discover why, take that to God in all honesty. Have no fear for God has a covering for you, his grace! Allow for the all so powerful, loving, gentle and graceful heavenly father to help you through this process. Masks off! It is time to take our rightful place! it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love Royal Fam!

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Freedom: So good to be free

There is no complex way to say it, it feels so good to be free. I was once crippled with fear, shame, guilt and regret, but once I started to break free, it was a game changer.
-Xholiwe

Hello Crowned Royals! It has been a minute since I got on here, so this better be good. I wrote my ever first blog on freedom and I am writing on it again, since no one put rules in the blogging world on how many times we can talk about one thing. Let’s talk about how good it feels to be free! My recent travels took me to the beautiful country of Morocco and I got to see so much in one country, but there is one visit that I would like to highlight in relation to freedom. I got to visit a 17th century old underground prison in the city of Meknes. Pictured is me standing right above the underground prison, which three century ago held captive foreigners who were captured and imprisoned by the Moroccan Sultan of that time. It is amazing to see what a couple centuries can do right? I remember going into the underground prison and the contrast was so vivid, it went from so much light to pitch black. The only light that guided my path were the small open holes on the top that allowed for some light from above. While we walked through the prison, I was thankful that I was physically free. Physically, we couldn’t imagine being imprisoned in such a place, but spiritually we have been there a few times too many. I know this because I have been there and the contrast was so vivid, what was light turned real dark pretty quick and the only light that guided me was the one above me.

Physical freedom is great, but nothing feels as great as being free in the spirit. If we were to be honest, there many of us that are physically free, but not every free person would say that their are free in their spirit. Why is it so? Freedom in the spirit is certainly not a walk in the park because if it was we’ll all be doing it right? However, for someone that continues to seek this freedom, I can tell you that it certainly worth the fight. Walking in the spirit free from what once were thorns certainly will feel good. Unfortunately, all that does not happen without a worthy fight. As much as you want to be free so does the devil want to imprison you. You don’t believe me? Think of the times you have tried to heal from bad past experiences and all other hurts just to be hit with something similar. It is much easier for the prisoner to stay imprisoned if they buy into the notion that they deserve it. Guilt often times is what will keep the prisoner in a prison that was not for them to stay in in the first place. Until there is that realization of the need for freedom, as people we will continue to lack the freedom we desire in the spirit.

The purpose of a prison is to confine one’s freedom, lack of freedom means limitation. What you can do when you are free is confined by this prison. Unlike the physical freedom that confines you by the walls and fences, the spiritual prison is all your fears, shame, guilt, regrets and pain. Only until you start to break down those walls of fear, shame, guilt and regrets, you might lack the freedom you so desire. The devil uses your fear, guilt, shame and regrets to keep you from partaking in the freedom your rightfully deserve. How many times have your stayed in the same situation due to fear? How many times have you felt shamed and guilty over past mistakes? How many times will you continue to stay imprisoned by situations and past hurts that you believe that you don’t deserve to be free from? Prison is so vivid like I said, the contrast is very clear. You know when it is dark or when it is light around you just by taking a good look at yourself and evaluating yourself. Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly, am I imprisoned or am I free? If you feel imprisoned, then you have to work on breaking free. You will be glad that you did!

There is no complex way to say it, it feels so good to be free. I was once crippled with fear, shame, guilt and regret, but once I started to break free, it was a game changer. One of my sisters recently said something profund and it hit every point to why I urge you to be free in the spirit. She said, “if you don’t own your story, the devil will”. What was miniscule can easily be magnified and used against you if you don’t own your story. Understand that not every prisoner’s case is the same because some are innocent, but once they start to read into lies, it makes it hard for you to break free. They start to magnify the situations that bring more fear and eventually it impairs them. Unless they stop being into those lies about themselves, the will continue to live in a prison.

Darkness is something you choose because it might be is all you know, but have you tried looking above? Remember the little small holes that were above the underground prison I visited in Morocco? To me those small holes symbolized hope. They brought some light in this dark underground prison that made all the difference. The little small holes with the little light they provided, helped me see a little more clearly and eventually I found my way back to the top. Sometimes the little small holes providing light is what we may need to break free from the dark underground prison we have created for ourselves. Instead of looking around us to what is dark and painful, how about we look above? Breaking free starts with looking above. Breaking free starts with rising above. So you begin to look and rise above the sin, fear, shame, pain, guilt and regrets by owning them all and then releasing them. Wondering who the light above is? It’s God! He provides you with just enough light so you can walk out of darkness into your freedom. Here is a scripture for you and me:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5 v 1 (NIV)

Once we are set free, we have to stand firm and not allow ourselves to back to what once held us captive. As much as freedom feels good, you need to protect it. Standing firm is you always making the choice to look above. If Christ set us free, we look to him right? If you know what it is like to be in a dark place spiritually then you will fight to keep that light. You stand firm by owning your story, every bit of it, even the shameful part of it. You stand firm by pushing away all thoughts that are lies about you. You stand firm by always seeking light in every dark place that clearly wants to separate you from God’s truth. Stand firm to this new found freedom! It feels so good to be free! It is time to take your rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Botched Plans: Trusting God’s plan

Photo by fotografierende on Unsplash
A couple detours and stabling blocks will still get you there, it may be different from what you imagined or it may be exact, but trust that God will get you there.
-Xholiwe

Hello Crowned Royals! It’s crazy how quick the weekend comes and goes so fast and not all weekend plans are accomplished in their scheduled time. Today I planned to do my laundry in the morning, but plans to do so were botched because I snoozed my alarm way too many times. This is not the first time I have experienced botched plans and some of the plans I actually needed to be botched because God knew better. Ever planned to leave for an event at a certain time, but ended up being late and hating yourself for it? Then Later on you got word that the exact street you planned to use had a terrible accident. You then took a moment to thank God for that botched plan because maybe that would have been you. I know this has happened several times that we got saved by 5 late minutes.

I am not much of a planner so when I do plan, you best believe I have calculated every possible and impossible event that will make or break my plan. I have had some serious plans concerning my life that were well thought out and planned so precisely, but not all my plans fell through they way I imagined they would. If I were to be honest, most of my plans were botched and I couldn’t be more grateful to God for my botched plans because they saved my life.

I am probably not the only one that has experienced botched plans, if you are reading this you know what I am talking about. You had plans for your present and future that did not fall through the way you imagined them. This is not the time for you to be hard on yourself for the plans that didn’t fall through, but it is time for you to be grateful. God being all knowing knew exactly that 5 years from now your plan would not be sustained and so he turned things around. I don’t know about you saints, but when God turned things around, I was not very happy about it, in fact, I would be low key mad until God showed me why he had to botch my plans. For me it took several botched plans for me to trust that God has better plans for me than I did.

Botched plans can come in different ways when in comes to serious life plans. I think if you have lived long enough you would agree with me that failure, disappointments, delay, lack of and heart break have a way of telling us our plans did not work. How we deal with all these pains that come from our botched plans will determine whether or not we trust God for a better plan. For example if a particular failure paralyzes you not try again then you trust your botched plan and not God’s plan. In the same way, if you keep repeating the botched plans in hopes that they will have a different outcome, then you are more trusting of your own plans and not God’s. I totally get it, your plan is well thought out and pretty perfect, but did you ever stop to think in the long run how well this plan would serve you? I mean it is great plan that you want to accomplish so much, but do those plans line up with the greater plans God has for you? A couple detours and stabling blocks will still get you there, it may be different from what you imagined or it may be exact, but trust that God will get you there.

To my constant planners who plan your life by the hour, it may be hard for you to deal with botched plans, but when you see why God had to interrupt that day to day planner you had going on, you will be grateful that he slowed you down. He slowed you down not because he doesn’t want you to accomplish your hourly tasks, but also to remind you of his existence. There is nothing wrong with planning your day and getting things done, but somewhere in your plans do you have some time for God? Or are you so wrapped around your planner so much so that your planner is full and God has no slotted time? God needs some time with us, we were created to relate with God as much we do with our family and friends. God desires to have a relationship with us and so if an hour planned date is botched for some time with God please take it. Enjoy some quiet time with God either through prayer or praise and worship, you will be grateful you did.

To my quick planners that are so quick to plan, but not well prepared for these plans, you too may deal with some botched plans. Perfect example, this year I quickly planned to change my closet like I always do from Winter to Spring as the days approached. Did I do it? No, days went by and I was not prepared for Spring. On a more serious life note, how many plans have you made that you are not well prepared for? Have we ever just taken the time to sit down with our plans and honestly look at our lives to see if our plans match our preparedness? God wants us to be prepared for what we ask for, so if you deal with botched plans from your quick plans trust that God wants to prepare you. Remember that quick fixes sometimes cost you so much later because most of them don’t last. So trust God as he prepares you for his plans.

Often times when things don’t go as planned all planners tend to be mad and want to throw their fist at God rather than be thankful. I have been there and after I learned why my plans did not work I broke out into a praise break because God knew best! Thank God for my botched plans. You too need to rejoice in those botched plans because those botched plans saved your life. God knows better! Here is what he has to say about planning;

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29 v 11

Until you allow this verse to sink into your spirit, you will continue to make your plans and end up frustrated when they do not fall through. God is not on his throne waiting to harm you, but his plans are to prosper you in all things, not just some. Unfortunately, we look at God’s direction as harm until weeks, months or years down the line where we realize why your plans were no good. I don’t know how many times I can emphasis this, but there is no use being mad at God for your botched plans. There are many reasons for you to be grateful and not hurtful. A closed door does not mean that God doesn’t have a plan. Stop relying on plan A, B and C when God only has one plan for you.

My last word before I eat these perfectly glazed wings are you are not the best planner. Yes, I said it, you are not the best planner. Allow God to do the planning and be amazed at what he does for you. Don’t let the botched plans paralyze you from trusting God’s plan for your life. Also, don’t make plans without first consulting with God. Are your plans well aligned with God’s plans or are you basing them of your own human understanding. Remember God knows better! While you are at it, be well prepared for the plans God has for you. You can’t be so quick to make life plans in a hurry without fully understanding them. Slow down and take some time to look critically at the plans you make concerning your life. Lastly, make some time for God talk to him about your plans and trust him when he botches some of your plans for better ones! It is time to take your rightful place! It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Change Shock: What it feels like when change happens

Photo by Havilah Galaxy on Unsplash
The process is near its end and now the caterpillar has to be the butterfly.

Hey Crowned Royals! After being away for so long I think I would like to share with you my recent culture shock experience and how similar it is to making a change in our lives. I recently visited the beautiful country of Morocco and like every visiting tourist I was hit with culture shock. As soon as I landed in Casablanca I was in for a rude awakening, this was a different place, a different people, different languages and different daily way of life than I was used to. I was excited about all of this because it was a learning opportunity for me, but if I was to be honest I was not well prepared for it. You would think for some that studied International relations I would know exactly what to do, but I did not and so I needed all the help I could get. I could list a ton of situations that shocked me and left me wondering why do they do what they do the way the do it, however, since my blog aims to keep your attention we will talk about that over a cup of tea. One of many experiences is when people kept cutting the lines in stores, at the markets, at train stations and other places I visited, it did not happen all the time, but when it did I would be so shocked. Coming from a place were waiting your turn in line is so important it was hard for me not to wonder why the did not see the same importance of waiting in line. This one experience may not be as shocking as others, but when it happened it would leave me wondering. In a similar way change in our lives can come as a shock and leave us and others wondering. When we decide to change at first things will be different and the people around the change we want will also be different so we need to be ready for some change shock.

I remember making drastic changes early this year and I was beyond shocked at what I was capable of doing. As much as I was shocked, I wondered what could have happened if I did not make these changes. Was I scared? absolutely! The changes I had to make were very different from what I am used to. Since the changes were different I had learn how to manage them and not only stay in the state of shock. After the shock comes the learning. Often times we as people in the process of changes get stuck on the shock and never learn. In the case of my culture shock in Morocco, I had my best friend explain to me why people did what they did. She has lived in Morocco longer and knows the culture very well so she was a great person to learn from. She helped me cope with my shock so that I could learn this new culture. Same thing would apply to change, if you are in the process of change connecting with or learning from a person/people that made similar changes would help you shift from shock to learning to embrace the new change. Ask the questions that will help you process the change shock and be open enough to the advice or answers aimed towards clarifying your process. Change is not something you have to do alone.

So what does it feel like when changes happen? It totally depends on what kind of change. You changing your old car for a new one is very different from changing a bad trait you have or changing your entire way of life. The new car makes you feel good, but it is not something that will require you to dig in deeper into yourself and make serious life changes. When making changes that effect your life and those around you, you might want to be more serious about them. The feelings that come with changes regarding your life can shock you. When you make the change it is not always the good feelings because if you were honest you would rather stay the same. You would rather stay in the unfulfilling relationship, the unfulfilling job and the unfulfilling way of life because it is scary to change all that without being certain that things would get better. God never said live your life unfulfilled, but since change is scary people usually have opted for the surface level change that only gives you the good feelings. Problem with the surface level change is that it don’t last for so long. There is also change that cuts right deep into all of you and this type of change comes with a roller coaster of emotions. Once you get through this type of change and shift from shocked to learned you better feel good about it.

19 For I am about to do something new.

    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness.

    I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Isaiah 43 v 19

This bible verse can speak to a lot of people including those that have made major life changes. People that have decided to change from their old ways to embrace new ones can relate to this verse. Angry people who want to change and be more gentle, selfish people who want to change and give more, rebellious people who want to change and be obedient etc. Do you see it? God is about to do something new because of your change. The process is near its end and now the caterpillar has to be the butterfly. The change was not familiar, but now you understand why you needed it. Because when God clears the pathway a lot of the things that did not make sense now do. The change was necessary for you and those around you. God allows us to go through the process of change because he knows that our change despite the heavy feelings will be worth it in the end. The story that comes to my mind when I think of change shock is Rahab in the bible. She went from being known as the harlot of the town and when she changed she was began the pathway in the linage of Jesus. I can only imagine her change shock that made her unfamiliarized herself with being the harlot of the town and now a woman of God. Also, when she changed she probably shocked people around her, those that knew her as a harlot probably were unable to fully comprehend what happened and were left to wonder. I don’t know what your change shock is, but you are better off unfamiliarizing with it and embracing the change that will make you better. People are watching you too and are shocked at how you are now different, so keep them wondering by making more changes.

My last words to you regarding change shock is that as long as you have made the decision to change expect shock to come. You and those around you will notice the change. It may not be something you are used to, but it is something that you will eventually learn and master. You don’t have to go through the process of change alone, speak with people that have made similar changes and learn from them how you can deal with change shock and all the feelings that come with it. God is already 10 steps ahead of you and is ready when you are to walk into your promise because you made the change. Get unstuck with thinking that if you change certain aspects of your life things will not get better because fear has gotten the best of you. The butterfly within you will not emerge if you are still a caterpillar trying to hold on to the old ways of your life. Push pass it and take your rightful place! It is time to shift from thorns to crowns!

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns · 2 Comments

Best version of you: No prototypes

Photo by José Alejandro Cuffia on Unsplash- Prototype
To every finished product, there is a prototype that just did not make the cut.
-Xholiwe

I might not be the science nerd, but I know a lot of science requires testing. The medicine we consume when we are sick and the smart devices we use daily all went through a test. Even the cars we drive did not magically be the awesome cars we love to drive and feel safe in, they too had to be tested. One thing that is fascinating and pretty neat about science is that before the finished product, there is a good number of prototypes. To every finished product, there is a prototype that just did not make the cut. The scientist works towards making sure that the finished product is the best version before placing it into the consumers world. Why does he/she do so? Well, no one will put their hard earned money to something that was not tried and tested. Take a moment to think about your smart device missing certain features, would you be inclined to buy it? I am guessing you wouldn’t because those features are important to you right? It is amazing how we invest so much time and money into what features the latest device has and forget that we too need to be the best version of ourselves. Let us get this clear, we are not trying to be perfect because even the Samsung 7 had it’s flaws despite it being tried and tested. We want to be the best version of ourselves because the prototypes are just not cutting it anymore.

So why is it important for us to the best versions of ourselves? If I was to speak as a scientist that knows my craft, I would say the best version sells, not the prototype. People want to be the best version of themselves while still acting like prototypes. I have some bad news for the prototypes, you won’t sell. You may think that all is well until life demands you to be the best version of yourself in order to move on and grow. The best version of you might be a person that is more assertive, compassionate, honest, confident etc, but since you have not allowed yourself to be tried and tested you are still not making the cut. Trust me when I say trying to be the best version of yourself requires so much effort from you. You just can’t do nothing and expect to be the best version of yourself.

Self-evaluation

One thing that scientists do when creating a product is that they evaluate. They look at the things that didn’t work in the several prototypes and work on changing that for the finished product. In the same way, we to have to evaluate ourselves, we look at our habits and all other things that are hindering us to be the best version of ourselves. Is it the mindset you should be working on? Is it the people you surround yourself with? Is is the bad decisions you keep on making? Track some of these things and evaluate them carefully as you work towards being the best version of yourself. Give yourself time in your busy schedule to have a meeting of one where you self-evaluate yourself. You might be your biggest critic, but this is so important for you to build towards being the best version.

Molded by God

We are diving in a little deeper now, I want us to think more spiritually. Think of God as the the scientist in your life experiment, you have had enough of being the prototype and are ready to be the best version of yourself. You probably need God right about now to step in quick before you are discarded. Into the potters hands you go! Understand you can not do this alone, stop trying to figure things out and allow God to mold you to be the best version of yourself. His word confirms that he can do the same thing that the potter did with the clay. God’s message to Israel through Jeremiah was that he was the potter and the people of Israel where the clay (Jeremiah 18 v 6). While you put the effort, allow for God to work with you through the process of being the best version of yourself.

Tried and tested

One thing that we appreciate that is tried and tested is our car. The car carries our lives and that of our families, so scientists ensure the safety of the cars through trying and testing. On a more spiritual aspect, we too are tried and tested when we go through trials. Trials are God’s way of testing our true character, which can easily be a prototype instead of the best version. One thing I have learned from my own trials is that it stops me on my fast tracks to actually think, then eventually I evaluate myself. Trials are not so bad after all, if you start to look at them as building blocks you can use to be the best version of yourself. Trials can either bring out the best in us or the worst in us so when our character is proven by God we know where we stand. Here is a bible verse that sums up all that I am trying to tell you:

7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

1 Peter 1 v 7 (NLT)

Once we are tried and tested, it will show through our faith whether or not we want to be the best versions or be discarded prototypes. God wants to know if he can work hand in hand with us or will we choose to curl up and be disarded at the first sight of trial. God wants to see the best version of us that has been tried and tested and still stands in faith. God wants to see the best version of ourselves that has learned from their past mistakes and works towards not repeating them. God wants to see us for who we truly are and not our potential.

Fall in love with your best version

Potential is all what it is potential. It will never measure up to the best version of yourself. There is a reason to why every consumer demands for a finished product because the potential prototype is not consumable. Have you ever heard someone say that they love their smart device’s potential when it has missing features? No, so why are you in love with a potential you that hasn’t fully decided to be the best version? Is it because it is much easier to act on potential than it is to be authentically you. Falling in love with the best version of you will push you to get rid of the potential you. The potential you that doesn’t make the cut anymore because your growth is demanding for the best version of you. Once you fall in love with the best version of you there is no stopping you because you know who you are. People need you to be the best version of yourself, in fact certain people’s lives depend on you being the best version. When you fall in love with the best version of you, you are willing to put in the work so that you maintain yourself even when the trials come.

My last words to you, stop living like a prototype when you are meant to be the best version of yourself. You have to put in the work, the best version of you wont came from doing nothing. You may need to have a meeting of one with yourself and evaluate what is hindering you from being the best version of yourself. Allow God to step in and work hand in hand with him as he brings out the best in you. Reminder he is the potter and you are the clay. When trials come hold your head up and let them bring out the best and not the worst out of you. God wants to work with the best version of you that can fight through and can be tried and tested, but still come out proven. Lastly, fall in love with the best version of yourself because that is all for all! You do want to take that rightful place right? The rightful place requires for you to be the best version of yourself! It is time to take our rightful place. It is time to trade our thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Obedience: Your way or God’s way?

directions
Your way or God’s way?

As I was driving back from work today, I tried to imagine a driver’s life without road signs and stop lights. I had these thoughts and imaginations because people drive crazy especially in Chicago. There is a reason we have road signs and stop lights because these signs and stop lights regulate the flow of traffic. I know you know all this, but just stick with me because I am going somewhere. These road signs and stop lights serve a purpose, the are placed in areas that caution drivers on what action to take. We know when to exit when we see the exit sign and when to stop when the light is red. We are instructed to do so and our disobedience to follow these signs can have some major consequences. When you miss your exit, you may be adding a couple more minutes to your drive time. Also, when you run a red light at a intersection you are most likely to get involved in an accident. So it is probably easy to obey than it is to disobey, right? But have you ever been late to something and put the pedal to the metal? I have, I was driving 80 miles per hour on a 60 speed limit zone some time back when I was a running late to an event. Unfortunately, the cops got me where I shouldn’t have been, so I was ticketed and I still didn’t make to the event in time. I was disobedient and had some consequences to because of my actions, it cost me money that I could have used for something else. My thoughts after that were, “oh, if only I just obeyed and drove within the limit” and later on I questioned my use of google maps versus the waze app that lets you know that there is a speed trap ahead. On a more serious note, take all that I have said about roads and drivers and think of how disobedience in your life left you dealing with some bad consequences and regret. Now lets talk!

Disobedience is a thorn that we fail to often recognize because it is well disguised in our determination, ambitiousness, greed and self-willed spirit. Being a self willed person myself, I can tell you that I have been quite disobedient to God’s instructions based off my own idea of the right way was way. So God had to work on that with me and obviously it took a lot of work on my part to finally understand the important of obedience. You know how much time and peace you can save yourself if you just obeyed God’s instructions? You know you would be way ahead than you are right now, if you just obey. Obedience is a challenge, and it also can be rewarding if done right. The challenging part about obedience is that sometimes things don’t make sense. God will instruct you on certain things that won’t make sense and obeying that can be hard. Think of the times you were instructed by God, but you didn’t act on the right instruction. You did it your way and later on there came those unnecessary consequences and regrets that could have been avoided. This is were I ask you, do you want it your way or God’s way?

I worked in the kids department at JCPenney a couple of years ago. In the front of the cash registers we had toys and kids throw tantrums when they did not get the toy because mom and dad said no. It was a sight to see, so many meltdowns happened almost everyday and there was nothing we could do as sales associates but watch in wonder. Try to imagine with me, but this time picture yourself throwing a tantrum when things don’t happen your way. God said no to the relationship, he said no to the job you wanted, he said no to all the things he saw would not serve you in the long run, but because you are mad at God you venture off in to disobedience think you figured it out. Only to come back to God wishing you could have followed his clear instructions. God being a God of several chances will give you another chance in hopes that this time you will trust and obey. You are not the first one that has been disobedient, there is scripture that will show you that you are not the first one and certainly not the last.

He said to another man, “Follow me.”

But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”

60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Luke 9 v 59-62

Based off the bible verse, I want to highlight the words that defeat the purpose of obedience “let me first”. Notice how all the men Jesus asked to follow him said those three little disobedient words? Jesus’s command was clear, he asked these men to follow him, but they were disobedient by just saying those words. How many times have you said “let me first” when you were given an instruction by God? For me, I am going to be honest and say a lot. I felt I had to have my ducks in a row before jumping, but what that did was that it delayed some certain things. Thorns to Crowns could have been started three years ago, but I said “let me first” a whole lot of times in disobedience. What are you saying “let me first” to that God has clearly instructed you to do? Take sometime to think about it and work on just doing and believing that God sees way ahead of you. If you can see what he can see, you won’t say let me first.

Logic is one of the biggest enemies to obedience right along side being self-willed. Logic and self-willed individuals go through a series of disobedience because the logic thinker wants things to make sense, while the self-willed wants their way. To my logic thinkers obeying God will require you to let those ducks go and step out in faith believing that if God instructed it, he is sure to complete it. To my self-willed friends, your way is not always the right way. You need to give God a chance to prove to you that he knows what is best for you. To all my logical thinkers and self-willed friends if we want to stop the series of regrets, we have to stop putting our decisions ahead of God’s. Rather than us making our own decisions with the little that we know, how about we seek guidance from God that knows it all.

My last word before I chow down and watch America’s Got Talent, is that if you are a crazy driver please follow instructions be courteous to other drivers lol. On serious note, I hope you can take some time to think about being obedient to God’s instructions concerning your life. Trust me when I say that it makes life so much easier for you and others. It is easier to obey than dealing with disobedience and the regrets it tags along to remind you that you messed up. I challenge you to just do it like Nike’s instructions. There are so many rewards that come with obedience. Take that crown! It is time to take our rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns · 2 Comments

Closed doors: Are they necessary?

It was closed for a reason, keep it closed and keep it moving.
-Xholiwe

Hey crowned Royals! Can we talk about how Portillo’s shut their doors on me a couple weekends ago? I was 2 minutes pass their business hours and they closed their doors on me. I remember saying I want an Italian beef sandwich to nourish my grumpiness and I decided to risk my life driving to beat the closing time. So I took off with hope and expectation that I will walk out of Portillo’s with an Italian beef sandwich, well that did not happen. I was welcomed by a closed sign and faces through the window clearly saying go away, but I was not going to just quit because of a sign and mean faces. I wanted Italian beef and was set on it, so I waved politely at the workers and nudged on the door. They did not even react to my actions and desperate need for food. The sign was up, it was closed, which meant that Portillo’s was no longer serving customers. However, I still thought of trying because maybe just maybe someone would see my desperate need for a sandwich. What ended up happening was that I left empty and disappointed, but it was not the workers fault and they were not obligated to open those doors for me. Also, lingering around in hopes that they would open the doors for me was a pure waste of time because I left without my sandwich. There is a moral to this story, I just didn’t plan to tell you about my disappointment and leaving you without a good word.

Moral of the story? Don’t go to Portillo’s two minutes pass their closing time and for the sake of this blog post keep the closed doors closed, there is a reason why they are closed. We all go through life experiencing closed doors, for most of us we get too curious to know what is behind the door and sometimes when we find out the hard way. I get it, because some closed doors don’t give us much detail, we didn’t know that the company we wanted to work for badly would file for bankruptcy and leave you out of a job. We didn’t know that the career path we chose would keep us miserable. We didn’t know that the people around us were really not for us. We just opened some wrong closed doors in hopes that it would be right. This is not where you beat yourself for opening the wrong closed doors, this is a place where you thank God that the closed doors were necessary for your growth and drew you closer to your destiny. I have had several closed doors and just like anybody else didn’t like that feeling of rejection, but now I look back to closed doors in job opportunities, career paths, relationships, friendship etc and I am so thankful. I quit aggressively nudging on closed doors that were closed for a reason and I would hope the same for you.

Closed doors can also be our past too, we go back to opening up past hurts and bruise the wounds that took us so much time trying to heal. Is it necessary? You are getting hurt over and over again because you keep going back to the closed door you have no business opening. It was closed for a reason, keep it closed and keep it moving. You can’t experience a great future, if you continue to live in the past. Understand that God will not close one door and leave you stranded. Trust that because that door was closed, God got a better plan. God is not a mean God that says “aha let me disappoint (insert your name)!” He knows what we need better than we do, so if a door closes there is a reason and as you continue to journey through life you will understand each reason for a closed door. God will protect you, he sees way ahead of us and can tell us;

  • it is time to close this door and move on
  • it is time to close this door for now, we may revisit it when we are more mature
  • it is time to close this door forcefully because it is dangerous and we refuse to listen
  • It is time to close this door because we need to be protected

Sometimes it does not have to take God to do the closing for you. You will be beat down and tired of trying to open this closed door that you personally decide to close it yourself. When you do so, realize that you did it for you and your better future. Celebrate yourself for loving yourself enough to close doors that are not fulfilling purpose.

Are closed doors necessary? Yes, they are necessary because rather than you staying stuck on that one door you get to a point where you challenged to grow and move pass it. Unfortunately, too many people stay stuck on a closed door in hopes that there is something there when God’s blessings for you already shifted and is waiting on you to leave that closed door. The doors God opens for you are one that no man on the face of the earth can shut, those are doors we should be seeking for.

8 I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

Revelations 3:8 (NIV)

My last word are that you should be okay with closed doors, be okay with keeping them closed too. It is not in your place to push on closed doors and end up disappointed. Like I mentioned earlier there is a good reason why God closed some certain doors that were not serving their purpose in you life, but rather these doors were hurting and discouraging. If you have been stuck at that closed today for way too long, I challenge you to walk away even two feet away and see what difference it will make for both your body and spirit. Remember this is all in the process of shifting from thorns to crowns! You got this!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns · 1 Comment

L’s are for Lessons

“Lessons are blessings in disguise”
-Xholiwe

“Wait, what? I know I did not take another L!” just when life felt like it was getting better, those words have come out of my mouth. L’s by definition from the urban dictionary are loses. We usually find ourselves talking about taking L’s when in conversation with our peers and it has been common to laugh about it and go home still trying to understand why are we are taking another L. L’s being loses sometimes come from a places of regret, shame, guilt, fear and denial. Sometimes it may not be as serious because we may have lost a bet and took an L. However, when life gets real for some of you, you take huge L’s that could literally change your life if you don’t look at it differently. There are some huge L’s that if we do not have a different perspective would take you down and out;

  • Lose of a loved one through death
  • Heartbreak; break up, separation, divorce
  • Lose of a job
  • Financial loses
  • Lose of business
  • Failing in school

The L’s that are listed are a few of many, but I believe at least a handful of people have experienced one of those L’s at some stage in their lives. There also are people that have experienced all the listed L’s and some. There are also people that have not experienced these major L’s, for you I say my prayers go out to you and when the L’s do come, be strong in the Lord.

I have taken some L’s too and sometimes ask myself, did this just happen again? I have lost loved ones, I have gone through heartbreak and often times that came with pain, regret, shame, guilt and fear etc. I missed that part that most of us miss, and recently have been trying to turn my thinking around my L’s and how I handle them. I am now asking myself, what is the lesson here Lord, what should I learn? This is a tough question for me, I am guessing it would be for you too because it can be hard to see lessons in the midst of your pain. How do I take the lesson as I deal with the lose of a loved one or a major heartbreak? Well, stop for a second and put the pain aside and spend sometime in prayer asking God what you need to learn from your L. When you do this, you discover more of your character and who you are in the midst of lose. If you communicate with God enough he will reveal to you all these questions you may have regarding your L’s. When he does, please do not ignore it and turn to your own conclusion.

Lessons are a blessing in disguise! We may not see it most of the time, but they are! I believe when we learn our lessons from our loses we are less likely to make the same mistakes. Another thing we do is be mad at God for losing a loved one and I thank God I quickly realized it was pointless and foolish of me to be mad. I was mad at God because I lost a loved one and it is not fun. Being mad at God for your loses does not change the fact that he is still God, but for you on the other hand, you are continue to struggle instead of going to God and seeking comfort in his presence.

Some of the lessons we learn have put us back in alignment with God’s will. There are certain L’s we took because of our own disobedience and God had to correct us. Just like any loving parent would to his/her child, God corrects us so that we are not lead to think our L’s are the end of us. When he corrects us sometimes it is can be unpleasant, but later on we are grateful because we changed for the better. Through the process, we got to improve our characters, understand more of God and his works and understand that L’s are for lessons.


No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,”[a so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:11-13

As a student, the thing you don’t want to be doing while the teacher is giving a lesson is being distracted, skipping class or asleep. Once you miss a fundamental step or concept, you will find it very difficult to pass the test. Same thing with God, as he is teaching us our lessons from major loses, let us not be distracted or asleep. When we do so, we set ourselves up for yet another L that may cost us more than the L we took before because we did not learn from the lesson. Learn your lesson, the future you will be grateful that you did!