The Power of words: Make or Break

Make a conscious decision with your words.
-Xholiwe

What a busy weekend this has been, but as always the weekend is never enough to get things done. I am glad, however, that I finally got my hands on my laptop because I would love to share on what is so significant in our lives and that is words. I am not talking about the words we use vaguely in our daily lives, I am talking about words that can either make us or break us.

We all remember that one great compliment that we received and how it brightened our day. We also remember that negative word that was spoken to us or spoken by us and it hurt us badly. Unfortunately, is it very easy to remember being called a failure than it is to remember that you were once successful in something. Why do words have some much power? Because words are the essence of all our lives, words can build our character and in the same way words can break our character. Ever wondered what happened to the sweet innocent girl from middle school that turned into an a mean girl in High School? No, it is not always puberty, but maybe along the way as she grew up she got bullied or was not spoken to in kindness by people around her.

The word of God makes it clear that words are powerful, with words God created and also with words God destroyed. In the same way, we can create and destroy, not just ourselves, but those around us. Let me talk about making for a second, as a child I was often told by my mother that I was smart and that I could do great things. My mother would remind me more of my strengths more than she did remind me of my weaknesses. Her doing so made me believe fairly quickly in my early childhood in myself and my abilities. She built my character in such a way that till this day, I am confident in my strengths and abilities. Making or building others takes us using the right words to encourage and uplift each others. Good words such as you are loved, you are wonderful, you are smart, you are unique and talented have a way of turning someone that felt like a zero to a champion. You don’t believe me? Ask the woman that was in a verbally abusive marriage and later on in life escaped and met the right person who told her she was loved. She will tell you that it changed her life and how she looks at herself. I am not the one to speak for the verbally abused woman since I have not experienced that, but I bet you that she is 10 times a better woman that she was in her previous marriage. There is something about using kind words that changes people and that shows you how powerful words are in our lives. Also, kind words towards yourself have a way of building you to truly understand who you are and believe in your abilities even when people around you want to break you. There is a sense of freedom that comes with using these words to free you from all that is not true about you.

Breaking words on the other hand are what we constantly need to heal from and it is unfortunate that so many people are surrounded by negative words. Breaking words/negative words can make champion feel like a zero, negative words have a way of breaking a person’s character to a point where they actually start to believe them. Yes, the son that was constantly called a failure by his father because he did not live up to his father exceptions believes that he is a failure. Negative words have a way of misrepresenting who we are and truth is the devil wants us to believe that because it would be easy for us to fall for his traps. When we focus so much on these words, it is very easy for us to lose who we are or who we are meant to be. Remember how I told you that it is easy to remember a negative word than it is to remember a compliment? Why is that? because negative words damage the spirit and with each negative word, it takes a little piece of you that is the essence of you. Eventually what happens is that the negative words outweigh the kind words and who you are supposed to be is buried under a pile of words. But do you have to stay there? No, you have break out and it may require a lot from you than just a couple feel good songs and a spa session. It is time to take your rightful place! Who told you breaking means that you can not be mended and made whole again? Tell that person that they are a liar because God is able mend all the pieces that where taken away from you because of negative words spoken over you. Believe me when I say this because I took along the journey of life have had not be spoken to so kindly and it had to take God to mend those broken pieces that where all bundled in a capable of negative words spoken over me.

Because I know words are powerful, I choose to be very cautious about how I talk to people and my choice of words. My suggestion is that you make a conscious decision with your words. Use kind words towards others, even those that are not so kind to you, you just never know what they are going through and your kind words might change their day.

Kind words are like honey—
    sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24 NIV

Speak with love and respect for others and teach those around you to speak to you that way too. Parents teach your children to speak with love and respect for others because kids have a way of learning from you. Surround yourself with people that use words to build you, to encourage, to uplift you and help you heal from all the negative words you have heard about you. Read the bible, the word in that book is living and active! There are so many promises and truths about you that live in that word.

Final thought, proverbs 20:15 says, “Wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold or rubies.” Be that rarer person that speaks wisely and kindly towards others, extend the same grace God has given you. Lastly, help others heal! we all still battle with some negative words that broke us along the journey of life.

Hello Freedom!

How does freedom look like?

This is my first blog and to be quite honest, I just didn’t dive right into it. I was trying to think of some killer introduction blog, but it’s like all of my thinking and writing abilities went out the window soon as I opened my laptop. However, after a sanctified meal from Chic-fil-a and a pep talk, I got my thinking juices going and here I am writing my first blog! I am super excited to share my blog and get the opportunity to share my life and how I continue to trade my thorns for crowns. Thorns to crowns in other words is pain to beauty. I don’t know about you, but I have had my share of pain, hurt, sorrow, disappointment, whatever you can call it. Then something amazing happened, I finally realized that I could trade my pain for joy, peace, beauty, happiness and freedom! I allowed God to take away my pain and that was not an easy thing to do. I never knew that it was possible because often times I asked God to take away my pain verses me giving it to him. Being able to give my pain (thorns) to God helped set me free to wear my crown and now even though pain makes it’s way in my life, I have mastered a different way to handle it.

Let’s talk about freedom, since it is the title of my blog. I don’t know what freedom looks like because there are many ways to illustrate it. I certainly know what it feels like because there is no way of faking it.

The picture above is one way to say that looks like freedom, but so do 1000+ more pictures of women running in nature look like. I decided to understand the picture and how it relates to freedom. First, the scenery is just right, the mountains in the background, the openness of the land, and the green grass all shout freedom. Secondly, the woman demonstrates release as she leaps and puts her head up, again freedom. Reality is that we want this same picture in our lives, not us physically trying to recreate this picture, but living a life of freedom. We want the freedom to be open and be in the right environment. We also want to be able to release and leap, but why does it seem so impossible? It is because we don’t give our pain to God, so we are left to picture freedom and not feel it. Freedom for some of you could be, finally forgiving your past mistakes, while for others it could be going finally letting go of that lie that you have believed about yourself. We seek some freedom somewhere, and it is okay that what you seek to be free from is different. As long as you are trading your pain for crowns. Note to self, you can not release and leap if you are holding on to pain, let it go.

God is saying this to you;


28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

All I can say is that our freedom (crowns) are found in giving God our pains (thorns). Like I said freedom may look and feel different for all of us, but as long as we are trading our thorns for crowns, we are well on our way!