Posted on by thornstocrowns

The failures of the flesh and heart: Strengthened by God

If I am not reading the Bible, you will catch me watching personal testimonies, I love to hear real-life testimonies and I could go on for hours just listening to how God restored people back to him. Many of these testimonies deal with the failures flesh and the heart. One thing in common for most of those who share is that they were at their end of giving up and they looked to God for strength. God gave them the strength to carry when the failures of their flesh and heart failed them. The verse Psalms 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” I thought of expanding on this just because we too have been in a place where the failures of of flesh and hearts could only be restored by the strength of the Lord.

When the flesh fails

In a perfect world, the flesh would not fail, but because we live in an imperfect world, many of us experience the failures of our flesh. It is not own deteriorating health, it is the health of those we love that causes us to lose strength. The bad report from the doctor has typically left many feeling hopeless and unable to cope with the news that our flesh has failed us. In the moment we question why would this happen to us, none of us immediately think to have hope when we analyze the report. The failures of our flesh can induce fear in us as we are faced with the reality that we may lose our own strength. If we’re honest our mind immediately thinks of the worst of the situation. But do you know that even in the worst of the situation there you can draw strength? Not our own strength because that will fail us. When the flesh fails our natural strength can not be sustained. It is quite hard to sustain your own strength when your body is weak, so why not look to God for strength? (read 1 Chronicles 16:11).

When the heart fails

Unfortunately, yes, the heart does fail us as well. I know if we could, we would figure out a way on how the heart can stay intact. But as long as we live here on earth, our hearts will fail us in many ways. The heart fails when we experience all kinds of trials and tribulations here on earth and this should not catch us by surprise as Christians. Just because we are Christian doesn’t mean that we are exempt from the troubles of the world. (read Psalms 34:19). When the heart fails there is that impulse in us to figure out how we can quickly fix it and we tend to do that in our own ability and strength. In most cases, our own ability and strength have led us to feel fearful, despair, and inadequate. We are then convinced that God is not in control and that we should handle it all. We soon realize that fixing a failed heart in our own strength does not yield the results we hoped for. I say this from experience, I have in my own strength tried to remedy the aches of my heart, and while for a while I thought I fixed it, it only came back even worse. After my many failed attempts, I quickly realized that my own strength had failed me and need an assured strength. I had to turn to the Lord for his strength. You may be like me trying to have a temporary fix of the heart in your own strength, but I encourage you to turn to the Lord for strength.

LOOKING TO God For strength

From the testimonies of others to our own experiences, we can all testify that it was God’s strength that helped us through the failures of our flesh and heart. We are to look to God’s strength because unlike our own his is assured to not fail us.

It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.

Psalms 18:32

The failures of our flesh and heart may try to convince us that all hope is lost and God’s promises to give us strength are not true. However, the Bible many times speaks of the strength the Lord gives us when we entrust him with all our failures. Below is a list of verses you can look to while seeking the strength of God;

  • Psalm 54:1
  • Psalm 46:1
  • Psalm 29:11
  • Psalm 28: 7-8
  • Psalm 37: 39
  • 2 Corinthians 4:16
  • Philippians 4:6

While there is not much we can do in our own strength, I pray that you find the strength to pray and ask God to give you his strength for all the failures you have experienced. I encourage you to shift your focus from despair to trusting the unseen strength God can give you. Let the failures of your flesh and heart know a greater strength than your own. It is time for you to take your rightful place, it is time for you to trade thorns for crowns.

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

You were running a good race: Get back on track

Everyone has their favorite book of the Bible and mine happens to be Galatians amongst many others. I recently read a couple verses with a friend and spent some time reflecting on some of the verses. The entirety of this book emphasizes that people must have faith in Jesus Christ and Paul tells us of the freedom experienced when we live a life of faith in Christ over the law. The Galatians welcome his teaching on faith and freedom in Christ at the start and are doing so well, but unfortunately, in chapters 3 and 4 Paul begins to have concerns about them turned back from what he taught them. He addresses them and pleads with them not to turn back, why would they turn back? they were doing so well. (read Galatians 3:1-4; 4: 8-20).

We too are no different from the Galatians, we have received the teaching and know it to be true that there is freedom when we live our lives by having faith in Christ Jesus, but just as the Galatians, we can get persuaded to think otherwise and turn our backs on the truth. So I ask us the same question Paul asked the Galatians, Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth? (Galatians 5:7 NIV)

YOU were running a good race

If you are like me and love to occasionally watch the Olympic track runners, then you might know what a good race looks like. Almost every race starts with the runner in the assigned tracks and all are signaled to start. There is usually a crowd watching in the bleachers and you can hear the many cheers as the runners accelerate. These runners have trained and put in their effort for this final moment, nothing should go bad as they sprint through their lane. It would be so disheartening to see your favorite track runner stumble and fall because someone cut into their lane. But it does happen and when it does you ask yourself what went wrong? They were doing so well! Paul must have felt the exact same way when he watched the Galatians stumble and fall.

Paul watched the Galatians train and put in their effort, he then watched them start to run their races and for a moment there, they were doing so well, and he excitedly cheered them on. He would hope that they would make it to the very end, knowing the obeying the truth he taught them. I can imagine his disappointment as he saw one after another trip and fall. He said to them, “You were running a good a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” We know who cut on the Galatians and made them trip and fall, but how about us? What is cutting in on us?

I think of my very own race and let’s be clear Paul uses running races quite a bit as a way to describe our spiritual journey. So let us not confuse the two as we think even about our own races (our spiritual journey). In my spiritual journey, I experienced times when I was slowed down, completely distracted, came to a stop, and was persuaded by other things. It is quite easy than you think to be persuaded by these other things, the things that cut in on us as we journey with the truth we know. Paul says that these persuasions do not come from he who calls us in verse 8 of chapter 5. Who is the “he” that Paul talks about? It is Jesus, Jesus does not call us to these different persuasions that draw us away from him. But we do get persuaded by people and things, and recognizing these persuasions is important so that you can know when you are getting off track. I know I am getting off track when I;

  1. Start to revert back to my old ways. The old ways Jesus set me free from, I begin to think and act on them.
  2. Feed into the lies of the enemy that contradict God’s word over me.
  3. Give into believing something else (ideologies) contrary to what I know is truth.
  4. Find ways to justify my wrongdoings and get comfortable with continuously doing wrong.
  5. Neglect the word of God and stop spending time in it.
  6. When I worry more and pray less.
  7. Allow my selfish ambitions and desires to overtake me and I end up losing sight of Jesus.
  8. Surround myself with people who don’t care about their spiritual journey with Jesus.

I could keep going with the list, but these are just a few of the things that can persuade us away from the truth we know. It is important now to allow these persuasions to take us away from the freedom we get to experience in knowing Jesus. We steadfastly walk with the Lord through it all (read my other blog on steadfastly walking with the Lord). How can you maintain your truth in a world full of persuasions?

  1. You stand firm on the truth that you know. Your belief in Jesus Christ should not be easily swayed.
  2. You used the word of God as you practical application to how you live your life.
  3. You immediately become aware of when you begin to get out of track.
  4. You study the word of God and hide his word in your heart.
  5. You practice your faith and remain disciplined in it.
  6. You pray earnestly.
  7. You surround yourself with people that believe in your faith and will also help you grow spiritually.
  8. You repent of your old ways and get back on track.

Run your spiritual race well and stay focused on the goal to win the race set before you! This race you can not do on your own or even worse allow people and things to cut in on you. You have found a new freedom as you live your life in with faith in Jesus Christ. Let it not be taken away from you. Guard it with your heart, don’t be easily persuaded by things that do not come from him. Instead, be persuaded by the things of the Lord. Steadfastly walk with the Lord knowing that he will guide you as you journey through this life. It is time to take your rightful place! It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns!

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

God’s Bigger Picture: The picture we don’t see

Two weeks ago my aunt and I went to a painting class. My aunt is an artist and I thought it would be a great birthday outing to celebrate her. This was for her because I am convinced that painting is not my strength. I find myself trying way too hard for only the final picture to not turn out, well, not so great. I have been to several of these painting classes with friends and family so believe me when I say, I just tag along. I knew this experience with my aunt wouldn’t be any different. Once we made it to the class, the instructor already had everything in place for us, the paint, brushes, a blank canvas, and to the side was a tiny little picture of how our paintings would look once we were done. My aunt said let us take a picture of the blank canvas so that we can show people how we started and then later our final picture! Great idea! I took a photo of the blank canvas and thought nothing much of it. I was too worried about how mine would turn out anyway. Sometime this week I was reminiscent of our time painting and decided to look at our photos and looked at where we started, our progress, and our finished paintings. It was the blank canvas that led me to want to write about God’s bigger picture for us that sometimes we don’t see.

Clearly, there is nothing to see with a blank canvas and I would like to think that all of us start from there in our lives. Newborn babies are a great example of this, especially when they blankly stare into this new world and do not know what to expect. A blank canvas could turn out to be anything based on the painter’s direction. Trust me when I tell you that it could be anything because all of us in the painting class based on how we followed instructions or just tried our best (pointing fingers at me), we all had different paintings despite us all referencing the little tiny picture of the final painting. With our lives, just like each painting was different in that class, our lives are different. But one thing that is universal for all of us is God’s bigger picture. What is God’s bigger picture for us?

What is God’s bigger picture for us?

As I continue to read God’s word his bigger picture continues to be much clearer. From start to finish, his picture has been the same. This picture does not look any different, the picture is the same for the poor, for the rich, for the one who struggles with sin, for the person who doesn’t believe, for the one who believes, it is for us all. God’s bigger picture is to dwell with his people. It was the same then and is still the same now. From the creation of man in the garden, God has desired to dwell with his creation. Unfortunately, with the fall of man, this picture got distorted making it hard for us to see what God sees. We shifted our focus to our own picture, and we have missed it all together. Every plan by God has been to fulfill the bigger picture for all humanity. Even when it meant him giving his only son Christ Jesus to redeem us. He did that with us in mind so that he may dwell with us. (read Ephesians 3:16-17).

When we dwell with God, we live with him and he lives in us, this means in more modern language, we do life with him. Doing life with God is one built on trusting him and knowing that through him all is fulfilled. He knows your beginning and he knows your end (read Revelations 22:13). Think of him as the instructor of your incomplete painting/picture, he will guide you through the fear, the joy, the frustration, the excitement, the regrets, the assurance, you can name it all so that ultimately you can see what he sees. It is a beautiful picture of you and him in it. Dwelling together as it was always meant to be from the beginning.

How can I see what he sees?

We too desire to dwell with God but as I mentioned earlier this image was distorted. The world became increasingly evil after the fall of man in the garden and this shifted our focus. However, there is a longing in all of us that sometimes can not be explained and if we dug deeper it would point to dwelling with God. Sadly, It can be hard to see what God sees when we are in a broken world that is filled with so many distractions. We may find ourselves focused on the wrong picture because when it is in front of us, it is impossible to think there is something else beyond it. If a person is presented with a picture of continuous pain, regret, fear, or loneliness, how can they believe in a bigger picture? They can only believe if presented with something different. We can only see what he sees when we re-align ourselves to his word. Reading his word daily and keeping it in our hearts for his word is truth. This means focusing on God in a world that may want so badly to draw us away from him. It is easy to fall into the trap of focusing on self and comparing our life to others in this distracted world. What this does is that it further distorts us from seeing God’s bigger picture. To see beyond this, may require you to realize that your life needs God’s guidance and much of your trust in him. (read Proverbs 3:5-6). Will you give God permission to dwell in you so that you may see clearly his bigger picture for you?

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.

revelations 21:3 NIV

I hope you can see it now that God’s bigger picture is to dwell with you! He desires to live life alongside you. Trust me when I say that he is the best instructor/guide when it comes to painting a clear and meaningful picture. He wants to take that distorted image and make you see what he sees and that is a fulfilled life with him by your side. It is time for you to take your rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns · 1 Comment

Steadfastly walking with the Lord: Is it worth it?

I had a conversation with my friend a while back who is an avid runner. This girl runs in any type of weather, mind you we live in the Midwest so you know we experience all seasons. I asked her how she does it and never skips a beat, and she said it is her continuous walking that has helped her build this momentum over the years. This momentum has allowed her to complete several 5k races and I am always so impressed by her passion and consistency. Her passion and consistency made me think about steadfastly walking with the Lord, which she is also great at! Steadfastly walking with the Lord is quite similar to what my friend does as an avid runner. It requires continuous walking that helps build one’s momentum to even do more walking. It is the commitment to walk alongside God through every season.

Merriam-Webster defines Steadfast as firm in belief, determination, or adherence. It further breaks it down and says that steadfast implies a steady and unwavering course of love, allegiance, or conviction. Our walk with God when all summed up in one requires all the things mentioned above. Unfortunately, it does get difficult in some seasons to hold on to a steady pace and build momentum. So what do we do when start to lose our steadfastness? We examine our hearts and see if anything has changed our pace or entirely has made us quit. Several things can disrupt our steadfast walk, but in this blog, I want to highlight a few that we may experience.

Hope Deferred

Typically, when our steadfast walk with the Lord is disrupted, we know that our hope has been deferred (read Proverbs 13:12). When our hope is deferred we consciously or unconsciouly conclude on the impossibly of the desired change ,our actions begin to somtimes indicate that we have taken another route in search for hope. You may have had hope for a long time that things will get better for that difficult situation, you were trusting God and the more this hope felt far off or put off for later you, the less you felt inclined to walk with the Lord. To make matters worse, you decide to walk this alone. What a difficult walk it is when done alone. I have been there and might I tell you, it is not an easy walk. I wish at that time I could have thought of people like Abraham who steadfastly walked with the Lord even when the hope for his promised child with Sarah felt impossible. I had to pick up again on my steadfast walk with the Lord. But the good thing about the Lord is that he is ready to walk with you once you decide that your hopelessness will not take you away from steadfastly walking with him. Even when the walk may feel uncertain for you, your part is to stay firm on what you know to be true.

SIN AND SHAME

Do you remember the story of the prodigal son Jesus told? The son went on his own leaving his father to a far-off land and with the money he inherited used it wrongfully for worldly pleasure. He committed sin through how he lived his life and later shame came upon him when all his money was gone. We know the ending is a beautiful story of forgiveness, but I want us to look at this story with us in mind and our steadfast walk with the Lord. Like the prodigal son when we allow sin in our lives and are overcome by it, it is quite easy for it to disrupt our steadfast walking with the Lord.

Sin gratifies only the needs of the flesh, pushes aside the Lord and like the prodigal son takes us to a far-off land away from our Father. With sin comes the shame and feeling unworthy to walk with the Lord when all he has been doing is waiting for you to come back home. Sin and shame tell us we can’t walk steadfastly with the Lord anymore, these two things try to convince us that we are unable to continuously walk with the Lord and build momentum. Oh, what a lie from the enemy. Indeed sin and shame can cripple us from steadfastly walking with the Lord, but then because Jesus died on the cross for our sins and shame there is redemption for us! We repent from our sins and re-commit to steadfastly walking with the Lord again. We then stand firm and determined to walk with the Lord and no longer make the choices that took us away from him. (Read 2 Peter 3 v 17-18).

Is it worth it?

Walking steadfastly with God is 100% worth it! I speak for myself and for many others who have chosen to stand firm on the belief that God is truly the best to walk with on the journey of life. Even for the most difficult times, because walking with him when all is well is quite easy. However, we are to maintain our pace even when steadfastly walking with him feels difficult. Because in the end, we know that God is with us. (read Isaiah 41:10; Matthew 1:23).

5 Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord [always doing your best and doing more than is needed], being continually aware that your labor [even to the point of exhaustion] in the Lord is not futile nor wasted [it is never without purpose].

1 Corinthians 15:58 AMP

Be encouraged that your steadfastness in the Lord is not futile nor wasted. The reward for it is greater because you decided to stay steadfast. Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12 ESV). It is time for you to take your rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Letting go of your regret: When you can not take back what happened

Not too long ago I sat down feeling such an immersed amount of regret as I recollected a situation that I thought was in my past. The more my thoughts replayed the situation, the more I sank into this place of wishing I could reverse the hands of time. I immediately felt trapped by this regret and deeply thought of how this situation did not only hurt me, but it hurt others. Like a fresh-cut wound, I felt a rush of emotion that caused me to break down. I asked the Lord, I thought I let this go, I thought I moved on, but why then do I feel this way? At that moment I hoped to get an immediate response, but it was just me and my thoughts of regret for a while. I know that I am not the only one who has felt this way, I want to assume we have all been in a place where thoughts of regret flooded our minds, and letting go of these thoughts of regret felt nearly impossible, but thanks to God he surely has a way out for us all. Let us together look into letting go of regret for the things that we could not take back.

When regret is louder than Grace

It can be hard to let go of regret when there is a constant reminder of our mistakes and failures. When thoughts of regret play louder in our minds we forget the grace God freely has given us. Letting go of regret starts with knowing God’s grace for us. No one works harder than the enemy to keep us away from this because he would rather the regrets permanently play in our minds, making it impossible to let go. Satan would rather you live in shame and guilt instead of walking in the forgiveness of God and the freely given grace through Christ Jesus. When the enemy wants to amplify all your regrets, run to Christ. He wants to condemn you, but unfortunately for him, he can not keep you there because in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation. (Romans 8:1).

forgiveness and its role in letting go of regret

There is a lot of forgiving to do in most regrettable situations. When we do not forgive, ourselves and the people we may have hurt, or those who hurt us, we easily can stay trapped in feelings of regret. It is almost like walking around with an open wound and hoping we do not bleed. Of course, you will bleed if you go around with an open wound, so then you will need a covering to stop the bleeding. Our cover for this wound would be forgiveness. If you want to let go of regret forgiveness plays this role. It covers you and allows you to heal and move forward. If it was for your mistakes and failures seek Jesus and if it is because others hurt you forgive them. (Matthew 6:14).

mOVING FORWARD AFTER REGRET

Regret is a humbling way to remind us of God’s redemption. He gives us a way forward from all our regrets. It is not just with us, many people in the Bible too had regrets. God’s very first creation of mankind Adam and Eve had deep regrets about eating that fruit and leaving the garden. Abraham and Sara regretted having a child outside their marriage even after God’s promise to bless them. King David had many regrets, just read Psalms. I could go on with this list of biblical figures who like us experienced regret, but what all of us have in common is God’s redemption that moved them forward. They could have easily dwelled on their regrets, but if we want to use them as an example, we could learn from them. They moved forward with faith in God knowing he had a redemptive plan for them, God has a redemptive plan for us too! We no longer have to hold on to our regrets, but we can look forward to what is ahead. Here is what Paul has to say:

13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3: 13-14

Regret is behind us, we are graced by God to move forward through Christ Jesus. I just don’t want you to think that letting go of regret is an easy thing to do. For some knowing of God’s grace, forgiving, and realizing there is a redemptive plan can take a while, months even years. However, if you want to start to let go of regret make it a mandatory act to run to Christ when to spend too much of your time recollecting your regrets. Proceed to seeking forgiveness and forgiving others and not dwelling on your regrets. You surely can not take back what happened but you can surely trust God to work all things for your good, might I say, even your regrets! (Romans 8:28). It is time for you to take your rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Cultivating your relationship with God: Being rooted in it

The idea of cultivating a relationship with God to many may feel like a daunting task and for some nearly impossible. I personally was quite intimidated by the idea of cultivating a relationship with God because I wanted to believe that I did not have what the others had. I would think to myself, I do not pray as eloquent as this person, or give my time as the other person, how then would God want a relationship with me? I single-handedly talked myself out of cultivating a relationship with God. If this is you I hope after this read, you feel encouraged to cultivate a relationship with God. It is not as intimidating as you think! If anything, it is quite easy because you have a God ready to build a relationship with you!

A relationship with a God you can’t see

Many may argue and say how do you build a relationship with a God you can’t see? And in all realness, it is a good question. My answer would be through having knowledge of him. You are unable to cultivate a relationship with God if you have no personal knowledge of him. Fortunately, God made knowing him quite simple, you can get to know him through the bible (his word). If you are like me and grew up in a Christian home, I grew up being taught of him, but I personally did not know him for myself. It was what was taught to me that helped me believe in his existence, but seeking him is what helped me know him. The amazing thing about God is that he is not hiding himself from you, he is in plain sight wanting to be known by you. Our part then is to seek knowledge of him.

Think about how we get to cultivate relationships on earth for a second, we first get to know the person who a minute ago may have been a stranger to us. We ask questions such as; how are you like? what do you enjoy? what matters to you? and the list goes on. These are the exact questions you can ask God if you want to cultivate a relationship with him. It will require you to seek these answers in his word (the bible) to know him better (read Jeremiah 33:3). While with earthly relationships it may feel easier because you can see and touch the person that does not mean you can not have a similar experience in your relationship with God. The key is to know him and cultivate this relationship with him. Doing so is not as complicated as it seems to be or even as intimidating. You can have a relationship with a God you do not see by seeking to know him better. (read Jeremiah 29:13).

communication with God

Any long-lasting and fruitful relationship requires communication. With our earthly relationships, we communicate quite regularly with people we know. The constant communication builds even deeper and more meaningful relationships. Our approach to making communication essential in our earthly relationships would also apply to our relationship with God. Cultivating a relationship with God requires you to communicate with him regularly. We do this by praying to him, we have the privilege of communing with God daily through prayer. Our constant prayer to God starts to grow our relationship with him because, with each prayer, you invite God to be a part of your life and relate with you. Similar to how you call a friend when you receive good news or even bad news, is the same way God would like to hear from you. His desire is to be known by you and commune with you. (read 1 Chronicles 16:11). It will surprise you how much your relationship with God will grow because of your constant prayers to him.

Becoming rooted

From my experience with earthly relationships, I can tell you that my strong and meaningful relationship had to be rooted so they could stand through it all. If you want your relationship with God to become meaningful, it has to be rooted. It is the type of relationship you want to stand and stay anchored in. Becoming rooted comes from your constant desire to know God, to be known by him, and to commune with him through prayer. Becoming rooted in other words is a commitment to your relationship with God. You stay in it until the very end.

17 [I always pray] that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may grant you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation [that gives you a deep and personal and intimate insight] into the true knowledge of Him [for we know the Father through the Son]. 18 And [I pray] that the eyes of your heart [the very center and core of your being] may be enlightened [flooded with light by the Holy Spirit], so that you will know and cherish the [a]hope [the divine guarantee, the confident expectation] to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the [b]saints (God’s people), 19 and [so that you will begin to know] what the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness of His [active, spiritual] power is in us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of His mighty strength

Ephesians 1:17-19 AMP

Again, God wants to be known by you and I hope that you want to know him too. Cultivate a relationship with him, he has been waiting for you to come around. Tend to this relationship like you would to the dearest relationships you have on this earth and watch it grow. Share with God in your good, and in your bad and see how making him part of your life transforms you. It is possible to have a meaningful relationship with God. You have to cultivate! It is time to take your rightful place, it is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

On the other side of frustration: The Assurance of Jesus

It was at least my 8th time attempting to make things work so I could move on with my work, but sometimes technology has a way of giving up on you especially when it knows you really need it. I had a deadline at work and this particular software chose the wrong day to not function. Did I mention I had a deadline? In my many attempts to make things work before the end of the workday, I was trying everything possible and with each attempt, my patience began to run thin and by my 8th attempt, I was frustrated. With absolutely no control over what was going on, I gave into my frustrations so I slammed my laptop, and slapped my hands over my face to express my frustration. I bet this sounds familiar to most of you, frustration is quite the emotion, right? I oftentimes think of frustration as that annoying deep itch you can’t reach in the middle of your back and if you are without help, you sit there with it in hopes that it will go away and it doesn’t. I want us to talk about the deep itch called frustration and how best we can get through it without losing ourselves.

REcognizing your frustration

I, first of all, would like to confirm with you that you are not the first and certainly will not be the last to experience frustration. Even the people of old were quite frustrated with their lives and situations, just most of us are at times. Frustration has a way of showing up when people are unable to attain what they personally what to fulfill. In the same way, it also in some way makes people feel like they have lost control over their own lives. A perfect example of worldwide shared frustration was with the COVID-19 pandemic. A lot of us experienced many frustrations due to the limitation and little control we had over the course of the pandemic. With these many frustrations being experienced, it was almost impossible to see the other side of our frustrations and be assured by God that things will go back to normal prior to the pandemic.

When we as humans get frustrated we are often consumed by the need to take back control and find stability by whatever means possible, let us face it, we love to be comfortable. We witnessed that a lot during the early months of the pandemic, might I remind you of all the bulk-buying of toilet paper and cleaning supplies (Yikes)? However, when we are frustrated, it is almost like that comfort is taken away from us and then we get so fixated on how we can get back to our comfort without finding the proper help to help us get on the other side of it all. Understandably, we all find ways to cope with our day-to-day frustrations, but there are long-term frustrations, people, still, experience and those types need the help of Jesus in order to get on the other side. Examples of long term frustrations are plenty, but here are a few; persons frustrated from the lack of career fulfillment, persons frustrated from the lack of having a baby after many years of trying, persons frustrated from many failed relationships, persons frustrated from a terminal illness, persons frustrated from the lack of sufficient funds to pay off debt…..I mean the list can go on, but these are some long-term frustrations that need the assurance of Jesus if we ever want to get to the other side of things. Notice how I mentioned “the lack of” in all the long-term frustration examples? I was not writing that just so I could flow with the text, long-term frustration are often times experienced due to the lack of something for prolonged periods of time. Unlike everyday work frustrations that can be fixed by the IT guy or sharing notes with your co-worker, long-term frustrations can be a tough thing to live through, and to some, they may feel impossible to overcome, but can I encourage you? I will share this famous Bible story and I hope it helps you see that on the other side of your frustration is the help and assurance of Jesus you have been looking for. What does the other side of frustration look like anyway?

Jesus ON the other sIDE OF FRUSTRATION

I couldn’t think of a better example of Jesus on the other side of frustration than this Bible story I will share with you. Granted, there are many bible stories that could help us understand that Jesus is our assurance in all things, but this Bible story is still fresh in my mind, you can read it for yourself (Luke 5 v 1-11) or if you are a visual learner like me, watch ‘The Chosen’. Last Saturday I took some time to watch a few episodes of ‘The Chosen’, an amazing Bible story series by the way. If you haven’t watched the show, I highly recommend it, my sister’s in Christ suggested it and I love it! I had a chance to watch the story of Simon Peter the day before his first meeting with Jesus. I liked the visual depiction of Simon Peter’s many frustrations throughout the episode. But there are these two particular scenes that lead me to think about frustration and Jesus. The first scene that got my attention was when Simon Peter was out fishing at night. He like most of us usually decides to take matters into our own hands, the idea of control and the dare need to attain our desires leads us to many frustrating situations just like Peter experienced. Back to the story, with every attempt to cast his net and catch fish, Simon Peter grew more and more frustrated, he frantically cast his nets to no avail, he also had help, but even with the help of his brother and fisherman friends, nothing was caught all night. How many of us just like Simon Peter had the help, but we’re still left with the dealings of our long-term frustrations? Our inability to get to the other side of frustration is not always because we do not have the help, it is because we have placed a limit on how things should happen based on our initial desire to fulfill our goals. This is where Jesus comes in.

Going back to the Bible story, the other scene from ‘The Chosen’ that caught my attention was Jesus meeting Simon Peter right after a very unsuccessful night of taking matters into his own hands. Jesus then notices that the fishermen have toiled all night with nothing caught, he sees their frustration, he then asked if he can use their boat as a pulpit to teach a small crowd by the shore. With their permission, he continues to teach the crowd and once he was done, he asks them about their night, and you guessed it, they express their frustration of being unable to catch any fish. He, Jesus then instructs them to cast their nets again and at his instructions, they cast their nets again. Something miraculous happened, they caught plenty of fish! A night of frustration quickly turned into a joyous celebration for Simon Peter and his friends. How does this relate to us you ask? Think about the many frustrations that keep you up at night, only to wake up to them again the next day. What was Jesus trying to show Simon Peter and the rest of the fishermen? He was trying to show them that he is the assured help to all their frustration. He also showed them that on the other side of frustration is joy, peace, rest, and fulfillment. Their plan was to catch fish at night and that limited them to see that Jesus could help them catch fish during daylight. Jesus took the limits off their initial idea of attaining their goal and idea of control. So what is on the other side of your frustrations that you can actually look forward to? I already mentioned some, but let me list them for you;

  • Peace
  • Joy
  • Rest
  • Happiness
  • Assurance
  • Fulfillment

I hope this encourages you to see the other side of your frustrations, while I know the reason for your long-term frustration still lingers, there is a much better path you can take. The limitless path Jesus has set up for you. As cliche as this may sound, I feel like it is okay to say this right now, let go and let God! Here is the perfect assurance from God to you while you make your way to the other side of your frustrations;

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

Matthew 11 v 28- 30

All! not some…the verse says ALL should come to God with their frustrations and he will give them rest. Now that is a blessed assurance! I will end by saying these words, trust God by his word, and listen to his instructions especially when you get frustrated. God knows there is another side to all your frustration and wants you to see it. It is time for you to take your rightful place! It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Holding on to Hope: Why hold on?

“I am sorry, mom is no more” My aunties sat close by me as they told me this and waited for my reaction. Denial quickly set into me and I asked, “what do you mean mom is no more?” then the news settled, my mother just passed away. I went into a panic and began to cry frantically, but that was not my state a few hours before this devastating news. A few hours before this I was holding on to hope that my mother would be healed from that illness. I said a prayer before taking a peaceful nap and held on to whatever small hope I had left, but this news killed the little hope I had stored up. I was hoping for a different outcome, but it quickly began to feel unfair and I remember thinking why did I even hope. Why did I hold on to hope when the situation was hopeless? What did the little hope I held on to do for me? I know those are a lot of questions, but I want to share on what holding on to hope can do for you even in the most hopeless situations.

I did a little research on Google and asked Google how many times the word hope is mentioned in the bible. Well, Google doesn’t know it all, but from the few numbers that came up it is at least over a hundred times across the different versions of the bible that the word hope is mentioned. It gave me much reason to understand the significance of holding on to our hope, I am certain that when God mentions a word over a hundred times, then we should know what it means to him. Hope like many other words gives so much meaning to one’s life, to many of us it is a core of our continued will to stay alive. Our plans, aspirations, desires, goals just to mention a few are encompassed by the word “hope”. As christians we find our confidence, strength and motivation is in the things we hope for. Let hope not be mistaken for a wish, hope is holds much weight than a mere wish. Hope is literally a pushing force that ignites our faith and gives us much reason not to quit. The unforeseen power of hope is that it is the peaceful reassurance even in the midst of a hopeless situation. That is why we must hold on to it knowing that in our hope there is reassurance that whatsoever the outcome, things are going to be just fine. I look back now to when I was told the news about my mother’s passing and think to myself, it was my hope that helped me endure the grief and loss of my mother. Also, it is now hope that reminds me that hopeless situations are not all the way hopeless if you hold on to whatever little hope you have left.

Anchored in hope

The purpose of an anchor is to keep something from moving, to stay grounded. When we are anchored in hope even though we did not get that positive outcome we wanted, our anchor sets us up to stay grounded in our belief in God and also reminds us that it will not always be this way. We hold on to hope knowing that our hope will see us through several other difficulties we may face in the future and we will not be shaken. Understandably, we have been faced with some difficult times in our lives, it could be the loss of a loved one, loss of opportunities to better our lives, just to mention a few. In those difficult times we have hoped and prayed for a positive outcome, only to be faced with a different outcome. Hope after the different outcome is what builds us up to persevere this halt or set back we are face to face with. It is important to stay anchored in such difficult times before we drift away into despair.

Why hold on?

The big question is why should we hold on to something that is not even certain? We hold on because our hope is the essence of our continued lives lived on Earth. By holding on we save ourselves from going into to despair (a state of hopelessness) from the many struggles we face and will face in the future. Have you ever met a person that let go of hope and you saw their despair? they don’t have to verbally say it because it could be felt. Despair just like many other undesired feelings comes because we let go of our hope. Therefore, holding on to our hope is important because it is what pushes us keep going on in this life long journey filled with many twists and turns. Again, holding on to hope is where you find your strength, you peace and your willingness to keep going despite all things. So hold on to it!

GOd and hope

You know I will not write a whole blog post without quoting the bible verse that speaks of hope and like the church girl I am, I find such joy in reading this verse over and over again especially when I feel like I am losing hope or I am getting low on faith.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 11 v1

Hope brings about faith, both things that God desires we have in our lives. While we hope, we build our faith, is that not amazing? why not hold on to something that actually builds even greater faith within you for the things unseen. I believe God wants us to hold on to hope for several reasons, but mainly for him to fulfil his promises over our lives. God knows that our hold gives us confidence to even overcome the next (2 Cor 3:12). Another amazing thing about hope is that it brings us peace and joy (read Proverbs 10 v 23). It doesn’t end there, remember what I said earlier, hope is our anchor (read Hebrews 6:19). All the good comes from us hold on to hope, and that could be even the smallest hope you have left in you. hope anyway because;

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?

Romans 8 v 24 (ESV)

We are saved in our hope! Let that sink in the inner depth of your soul, especially if you have been not been doing well with holding on to your hope. If we saw it all we would hope, but then like the verse says, who hopes for what he sees?

In ending this post, I urge you to hold onto your hope in God, in your life, for your family, for your aspirations and for your healing (we are need it, trust me). Fight your way out of despair and hope again. What brought you to despair was not meant to keep you there and leave you there. There is hope in the things unseen and yours is to pick up on that hope and hold on to it and never let it go. It is time for you to take your rightful place! it is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Commitment Issues: You made the decision, now what?

Crowned Royals!! Greetings! Greetings! and many more greetings! This is to make up for all the months that have went passed without my hellos. I hope you are well and are using everyday to trade those thorns for crowns. Forgive my silence, I used most of my time away to catch up with travel, something that makes me feel connect to the world and absolutely love. Last year was pretty hard for a travel junkie like me because of the travel restrictions due to the pandemic, but I am thankful to God I got to see a few places this summer. My last blog was about making decisions and I wanted to pick up where I left off and tie this bow up. Decisions are often followed with commitment, and while making decisions can be easy, commitment to those decision can be hard. Just like you, I have made the decision and struggled with the commitment, so how can we deal with our commitment issues?

Did you notice the blog photo I settled for captures two wedding bands? I couldn’t think of any other form of commitment that holds so much weight than marriage. Yes, I know 50% of marriages end up in divorce, but before that happened two people decided to commit to it and along the way for various reasons, things changed. No, this is not turning into a relationship blog, but keep the idea of this type of commitment to your decision making and commitment as we unpack together. Many of the decisions we make whether small or major require some level of commitment, but what happens when we fear commitment to those decisions? we run into commitment issues! What are commitment issues?

commitment issues

Commitment issues can stem up from several places, it would be fear based off past experiences or difference in opinions. When someone is having commitment issues, most of their decision making can be based off a fear of the unknown. The fear of the unknown raises the question of what ifs….The danger to this is that we could be making the right decisions, but would be unable to accomplish because of our commitment issues, hence limiting ourselves. For example, I watched a BBQ show sometime ago on Netflix and one episode told a story of a young man from a little town in the South that was good at barbecuing. His barbecue joint was in the family for many years and passed down to him and he would also train his son to take over the business after him. He know his place was good and people in the bigger city would want to have a taste of his amazing food, however, his family feared for him to move to a bigger city and that eventually made him fear as well for years. He would be offered an opportunity to expand his business, but would decline it and not commit even though he wanted to. After some years, he finally got the courage to commit to his decision to move to the bigger city and he never looked back. He grew his business in the big city and investors invested into his eating place all because he committed himself to his decision. Perfect happy ending right? What if he decided to stay in the small city and allowed his commitment issues to limit his reach? We would be telling a different story and that story would not be as great as what changed for the young man. While we are not facing the decision to move our eating places to a bigger city, we are still facing some decisions we are having a tough time committing to due to our commitment issues.

Why Commitment?

Ever heard of someone not committed to anything accomplish something significant in their lives or that of others? I will wait. I bet you haven’t, but we hear many stories of those that commited and accomplished much. Commitment is an action and if one struggles with commitment issues that means that decisions are made without action or intention to commit.

Imagine with me for a second, Jesus’s commitment to die on the cross for us…significant right? but imagine if he dealt with commitment issues, what would have that meant for us? But Jesus was commitment till the very end even with the process, the pain and the sacrifice. The whole point of commitment is not giving up. What makes it so difficult for us to commit to a decision that will be for our good? While there are several excuses and reasons we can use to justify our lack of commitment or fear of it, what then do we do when our commitment issues contribute to our constant draw back? T.D Jakes said this “you cannot conquer what you are not committed to.” Many of us want accomplish this change in our lives and all that is good to manifest in our lives, but have we ever thought the reasoning behind us not accomplishing is due to our struggle with commitment issues. We want the good [insert your heart’s desire], but the good cannot be achieved if we don’t commit to our decision. Here is why you should commit;

  1. Your commitment pleases God
  2. Commitment helps build your character
  3. Commitment makes you accountable for your own progress, errors and corrections
  4. Commitment makes dreams a reality
  5. Commitment is rewarding when you put in the work
  6. Commitment pushes you to succeed

Still need more reasons to convince you to commitment to your decisions? I don’t have to go have far. Just think of the many things that you have limited yourself of accomplishing by allowing your commitment issues to hold you back. I get it, I too have had some things that I convinced myself out of because of the fear that came from my commitment issues. Just like you I have had my many excuses that were backed up with detailed reasoning, but at the end I still was the one that lost. Many of us are losing because we are afraid, and if we were to all critically look at our lives we would see that our loses are coming from our lack of commitment.

GOD AND COMMITMENT

As a kid we used to sing this song ‘No Turning Back’ in Sunday school and to be honest it didn’t mean much to me until I understood my commitment to God. The words to the song are pretty simple… I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back… I interpret the words to this song as commitment. We decide to follow Jesus and not turn back, almost like how Jesus said that no man will put his hand to the plow and looks back (Luke 9 vs 62).

Our commitment to God pleases him. He desires our commitment to him and all that is about him. He exemplifies commitment by allowing his son Jesus to die for us. Jesus his beloved son he gave to us because of his commitment to free set us. He shows us that commitment issues do not help us accomplish something significant by this very act. Understand that it is very easy for our commitment to God to easily also affect our other commitments in different areas your lives. For some it starts there, at least for me it did! It starts with knowing that you are committed to a God that is also committed to you and has your best interest. God has your best interest, he too wants to see you accomplish based off your commitment. The good part about all this is that God wants us to commit to him whatever we do and he will help! Don’t believe me? here is some word for you;

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans”

-Proverbs 16:3-

Rather than constantly being with the fear of committing to your decision alone, why not make the commit to the Lord and find your strength even when fear wants to give you an excuse or reason to quit. He being God will help you establish you plans, but you have to stay committed.

I will end by saying, there is nothing you accomplish when you allow commitment issues to limit your reach, growth, change etc. There is however, much to be accomplished with you deciding to fully commit to your decision in the good and in the bad. You continue to trust the process and fight off the fear that comes from your commitment issues. It is time for you to take your rightful place. It is time for you to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Living with your decisions: The good, the bad and the ugly

Hello Crowned Royals! It has been a very long minute, but I hope all is well with you. I am doing well and just like you, I continue to work towards trading my thorns for crowns. I have been wanting to write on this topic for quite a while now, so hopefully my thoughts are still as fresh as I need them to be. Decisions, we all have to make them and eventually we all have to live with them. I am assuming that all my readers are adults and at some point in your lives had to make some major decisions, however big or small, the decisions were made and whether good, bad, or ugly, you lived with your decisions. So let us talk about talk about them!

Not so recently, I went to a restaurant with some friends, I was quite familiar with the menu and knew what was good there and decided on my order easily. My friends on the other hand were visiting the place for the first time and just like most first timers, they did ask what was good, I shared my suggestions, but allowed them to make their own decision. Despite my suggestions, they decided to go for something different and that was okay by me because they were first timers. Our meals were brought to the table and everyone dug into their meals, and immediately you could tell that not everyone was happy with their choice. I was quite happy with my chicken parmesan dish, but it may have been too late for the others to change their order so they ate their food regrettably. They envied by chicken parmesan and some even asked to have a taste of my good meal choice . You might be wondering, what does this meal story have to do with living with our decisions, well, all that is just a simple example with no major consequences of how our decisions eventually live with us. While you are not dealing with eating bland food that could not be saved by any amount of salt and pepper, you are dealing with major life decisions that come with major consequences and you would want to make the right decision with those ones. Throughout this blog I want you to think about your major life decisions and how you live or have lived with them.

Major Life Decisions and living with the them

What are major life decisions? These are decisions that can literally change your life for the good or for the bad. These type of decision impact our lives in major ways, for example, what state should I move to? must I make a career change at this age? is this the right person to marry? etc. Major life decisions are what you live with and unlike deciding on what meal at the restaurant, they are far more complex to be taken lightly. Major life decision require more thought and discernment. Unfortunately, we have more people making major decisions without understanding the complexity of their choices. Whether the decision is good, bad, or ugly the lack of understanding the complexity is what we end up missing overall. If you have ever had to make a major life decision, then you should know by now that not every decision is fun to make and if you are like me, you would rather make the fun decisions and skip those though ones. But unfortunately life does not work that way and so we also have to make sound decisions for even the tough ones because we eventually live with them too. For every major life decision you make, remember that it manifests in your life and how it manifests is what lives with you. How are you living with those decisions?

If you have ever had to live the consequences of your decisions, then you know what it is like to either be glad you made that decision or regret making that decision. We want to think making decisions is the hard part, but have you ever lived through the bad decision you made? Such torture, right? and even though there might be someone to blame, you still made that choice too. Once we get to experience this type of regret with our choices, we then use to to make wiser choices and live with better consequences. Easier said than done for sure, but what would you rather live with? the good? the bad? or the ugly?

Decisions, Decisions and More decisions…. does it ever end?

Just when you thought you made the right decision, here comes another decision causing you sleepless nights as you try to rationally figure out what to do next…been there? there right now? I think we all have been there or are there right now and the question is when does it end? I personally think it does not end, as long as we are alive, we will have decisions to make. It is quite easy to despise major decision making, but do you realize that so much power lies in you making your decisions. I think God gave us the ability to decide so that we are able to see the power our decisions have over us. If you are like me and have made some good, bad and ugly decisions, then you know the power of your decisions really impact your life. With the many decisions we have to make in our lifetime, we quickly learn that our decisions have consequences and those consequences are what we live with. Because decision making will not end anytime soon for you, how best can you make sound decisions and live with them in harmony?

Making Sound Decisions

There are several ways to go about making wiser decisions that you will not have to hating living with the bad choices. I know this because I have made my share of bad decisions and if I just applied some of these listed below things could have been different. I hope these help you too;

  1. Seek counsel- with God, trusted family/friend, church counsellors (pastors etc)
  2. Realize there is power in your decision
  3. Don’t allow fear to decide for you
  4. Learn from your bad decisions and don’t repeat them
  5. Never make decisions under pressure
  6. Evaluate your decisions

God and Decisions

Here is the exciting part of the blog, some assurance that all of us can appreciate as we make decisions. God wants to be part of our decision making, he actually delights in us seeking his counsel regarding our major life decisions, even the ones we consider small. God wants us to make good and sound decisions that allow us to realize the power our decisions have over our lives. He gives us freedom with our choices and that speaks of a lot of his love for us. As complex as decision making is, it is comforting to know that God is willing to help us decide, our job is just to seek his Godly counsel. Living with your decisions under God’s counsel is the ultimate goal. Allow him to guide and help you on which way to go and most importantly what decision to make. Making decision is already hard and can oftentimes leave you frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, confused, restless just to mention a few. So why then complicate your decision making by trying to decide on major life decisions on your own? Check in with God and see what he has to say about your choices. His word in Proverbs sums this all up beautifully;

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and never lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path.

Proverbs 3 v 5-6

All in all, we can all admit decision making can be hard at times and can even be worse when we have to live with the bad choices we make. My final thoughts on this is that we do not always have to make the bad choices and learn from them later if we just start by making the right ones from now on. How do we do so? By not making these decisions alone! We seek counsel, we learn from past mistakes, we don’t take major life decision making lightly, we don’t allow fear to decide for us and we eventually decide on the right choice. It is time for us to make the right decisions and live with them. It is time for us to take our rightful place! It is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe