Posted on by thornstocrowns

Why am I not there yet?: What happens along the way

Hello Crowned Royals! It feels like forever since I took to the keyboard and put my thoughts in words, so here I am writing again. I have had many thoughts about what I am about to write up today and quite honestly these thoughts are way overdues. By sharing this with you I hope you get to realize that your journey does not end because you faced a couple of setbacks along the way. The journey must go on, you have a destination and it should be reached by all means necessary. With the many setbacks that we meet along the way, we do eventually ask ourselves the question “Why am I not there yet? This question alone can bring grown men and women to tears, so let us unpack this together.

I have never been a huge fan of road trips because I personally think they take way too long and if you live in the Midwest like I do, there is barely much to see and be amused by along the way. When I do take a road trip to a place I have never been, it is only wise for me to plug in the address to the destination before driving off and also plan my stops along the way. If I am traveling with a friend that calls for good company along the way and if I am traveling alone that calls for a solo praise and worship concert and occasional afrobeats. Once I get on the road I have an estimate of my time of arrival and all my plans to stop along the way are well calculated to keep me within my arrival time frame. But sometimes the unexpected happens, a traffic build up that was not there before, a car crash delaying traffic, the occasional flat tire, the additional stops that were not in the plan and eventually a frustrated woman who just wants to get to where she was going. Why am I telling you all this? If you didn’t catch it yet, this is all of us along the way to our “destination”, whatever that destination is for you, you know that the you had the destination, you made the plans and some of you did not expect the unexpected delays and now you are frustrated asking the question “Why am I not there yet?

What is along the way?

Unlike road trips, the life trip we embark on is far more complex and involves a whole lot more heart, mind, soul and spirit to get to where we need to go. It is not until you embark on this journey that you meet what is along the way. What you meet along the way, expected and unexpected will tell you of your resilience and determination to reach your destination. It can be quite hard to see the destination if you are distracted with what is along the way. Take for example, a person who has decided to embark on a journey of healing and along the way they are faced with hurt and that hurt distracts them from their destination, which is wholeness. What is along the way is not the end of the journey, you must go on. I remember embarking on my own journey of healing and was then faced with the unexpected hurt and betrayal along the way, geez that bump in road kept me quite distracted for a while. Eventually, I got frustrated and had to ask God this question, “why am I not there yet?” This was not a question God had to answer, it was for me to look at my own life and see that I was distracted by the hurt and betrayal and certainly had lost my way. Clearly were I was, was not my destination, but thank God for redirection. What am I trying to tell you? If you want to make it to your destination always remember what lead you to make the decision to embark on the journey. What is along the way, is your hurdle to jump and conquer. Too many of us have allowed what was along the way to determine the end of our journey, but if there is any fight left in you, I ask you to pick up from where you left off because the journey is not over. If God still wakes you up each morning, then friend, you still have to move.

Arrival time

I wanted to talk about the arrival time because let us face it, we live in a society that seeks instant gratification and fast pace results. We want to get to our destination as quick as Jimmy John’s, but lack the understanding as to why our journey maybe different from the other. We then push for false arrival times so we can keep up with the rest. Friend embrace your journey, just because someone got there before you quicker doesn’t mean you have to falsely arrive to your destination. Another major concern about arrival time is when others who don’t know the journey you are on want to determine the time of your arrival. They will ask you questions like, “you are not healed yet? you have not succeeded yet? You should be over that by now, why are you still working on that?” Questions like this then lead you to ask yourself “Why am I not there yet?” Comparison has been the death of many, and continues to haunt people because they refuse to accept their own path and waste time on envying someone’s path. There is a Christian saying that says God’s timing is the best. Till the passing of time and space this saying will continue to be relevant for this world that doesn’t understand that God runs on a different clock. I say so because when God’s perfect time came for me, no one, not even myself could deny that I arrived to my destination. When you arrive under God’s perfect timing, it will be quite evident and will not leave room for second guessing. Never be pressured to falsely arrive because of what and who is around you. Your arrival time will come, just don’t give up in the middle of the way.

With God along the way

There is nothing more calming than taking God with you for the journey. Even when the frustration and tension builds up along the way, you know you are in good company. It is like taking a good friend along on this very long journey and knowing you can turn to them anytime and talk to them openly about how you feel without feeling judged. With God along the way, he is the one that will remind you of why you even took up this journey in the first place and why you should reach your destination. He helps you keep the pace even when you want to go faster as you see others go ahead of you. How amazing is that! For the several journeys I have taken and some that I continue to take with God, I wouldn’t have it any other way. There is peace that comes with knowing that God is in it with me. There is also an assurance that you will get to where you are going as long as keep him in this journey. The Israelites that were lead by Moses are perfect example of moving with God along the way. The story tells of this intense journey to the promised land that could have ended in 11 days, but the distractions from the destination prolonged their time, but after 40 years, God finally brought them to the land as he promised. Along the way, God provided for the Israelites all they needed to make it to their destination. Why would you think he wouldn’t do it for you? There is what the scriptures say; *side note* this is one of my favorite verses from the bible, it is such a good reminder while on the journey.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29 vs 11

I can not emphasize it more, the word already tells you that God knows, he knows where you are at in your journey and were you could be if you just continue to walk it out with him. Even when frustrated with the question “why am I not there yet?” at least you know there God is ready to listen and unpack with you, and also redirect you. Giving up is not the solution and should never be an option when faced with the expected and unexpected along the way. There is a destination you are supposed to reach, don’t get distracted with what is along the way. Use what is along the way to build your resilience and determination to make it to where you are going. Always remember why you started this journey. It is time for you to take your rightful place! it is time to trade thorns for crowns.

Much Love,

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Embarked Journey: Road to Damascus

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash
As you embark on this journey know your destination. Know that there may be some set backs and be okay with that as you move forward.
-Xholiwe

Hello Crowned Royals! Happy new year! Here we are alive in a whole new decade that should mean something to you. I am so glad we made it because I have a feeling that this year will be set up for more people seeking to trade their thorns for crowns. Since we are in a new year, I am pretty sure a lot of us are geared towards a fresh start for several thing regarding our lives. I consider it an embarked journey that we have set on and the thing about journeys is that you just never know what may happen while you are on them. For someone who has traveled a fair amount of times, embarking on a new journey is often exciting and concerning because I have a prediction on how the journey will go or will not go and so I prepare for it. But let’s be real, we all have experienced delayed flights, bad weather conditions, lost luggage, flat tires, tired bodies and the list goes on. I know it can be very frustrating because we have places to go and things to do and what we don’t need is a set back right? Well in the same way, how does this relate to your own life journey? You have embarked on this new journey, let’s call it flight 2020 and you have your predictions and intentions nailed down, are you going to be okay with any set backs as you journey to your destination? If not, I suggest you continue to read this blog. If yes, you still need to read this blog. It is for everybody on a journey, which would apply to all of us.

I have the perfect example from the bible of a guy that embarked on a journey with his predictions and intentions all nailed down, only to be completely changed by God on his way to what seemed to be right at the time. Yes, you guessed it! it is the Apostle Paul! Towards the end of 2019, I was studying the book of Acts and got to the story about Paul’s conversion while he was on the road to Damascus. Then Saul, before his conversion to Paul embarked on a journey to Damascus with the prediction that he was going to kill any Jesus followers of that time. His intention for this journey was to kill those that followed Christ, only to be dumbfounded by God’s direct approach to him. How many of us have been dumbfounded by God in the midst of our ill-intentions towards others and were stopped? I know I have and till this day am grateful that God intervened. In Paul’s case, the set back in his journey was necessary because many people that followed Jesus would have died. In our case the set backs are necessary too, maybe your intentions for this journey is not to kill thousands of people, but you may be seeking revenge towards a person/people or you have started your journey off with the same bitterness you had last year. God will surely have to intervene just like he did with Paul so that there is a change of heart. Your job is to be sensitive to the promptings that come from God and not your flesh as you embark on this new journey. I know from experience that if I gave in into my flesh, I would be dealing a whole lot of unnecessary internal conflict with myself and external with others. What are your internal and external conflicts? Are the worth you missing your final destination. Keep in mind that destination is different for many of us. While you destination maybe revenge (not recommended), another person’s destination may be healing or clarity from God, so as you embark on this journey know your destination. Know that there may be some set backs and be okay with that as you move forward. This applies to whether or not your intentions are pure on your journey.

I honestly believe this new journey should be different for most of us especially if we have been making the same predictions and betting on the same intentions that got us nowhere in the past. God certainly wants to do something different and walk with us on new journey we have embarked on. I recently put up a post on Instagram on submitting. I will say it like I said it on my post, the word submit is the most dreadful word in the times we are living in because people wants to know what is in it for them. We tend to dismiss God’s will and direction for us because we are set on our own ways, and so submit sounds like an insult. While our ways may make a lot of sense to us, If God’s will doesn’t match, we might be going around several unnecessary cycles. Do know that Paul was not the only one stopped by God so that the will of God would be fulfilled? Think of Jonah, he too embarked on the journey clearly instructed by God, but he decided to go a different direction and we know that God had to intervene mightily in Jonah’s case. Again, people’s lives were at sake if Jonah did not deliver that message to Nineveh. Thousands would have died at the hands of one man’s change in direction. What will your change in direction cost others? How many people’s will die because you can not deal with set backs? Food for thought. Submitting is not a punishment, but a blessing. Walking in God’s will is the best thing you could do for yourself and those connected to you. Let us look at scripture that will help us moving forward on our journey;

Then they said to him, “Please inquire of God to learn whether our journey will be successful.” The Priest answered them, “Go in Peace. Your journey has the Lord’s approval”

Judges 18 v 5-6

From the many journeys embarked in the bible, which are many! I think most of them have one thing in common, they were approved by God. Your journey should not be left out on this list. Some of our embarked journeys do not have the approval of God because of the ill intentions behind them. So when God wants that to change, you are likely to expect some set backs as he works on a change of heart. In other cases, your intentions are pure and all you want to do is please God, you might experience some set backs in that too, but before you get mad and throw your fist at God, figure out the reason for the set back. It may be God telling you that there are parts of you that still need some working on before you get to your destination, but you are on the right path. I hope we all inquire from God as we move forward and take on flight 2020 with a sensitivity to his promptings and not our flesh. Like I mentioned earlier, submitting to the will of God is not a punishment, but a blessing. Rather than embarking on this journey on your own, allow for God’s direction because he sees far ahead than we do.

My last words for you as you embark on this new journey are, take it easy and stop pressuring yourself to have it all figured out. Just like the verse in Judges said, inquire from God first, then get your approval because this life journey is not one you have to do alone. See you on the other side! It is time to take your rightful place. It is time to trade thorns for crowns!

Much Love

Xholiwe

Posted on by thornstocrowns

Ready.Set.Go!

Positioning yourself before and during the race matter
-Xholiwe

If anyone knows a thing or two about track racing, you know that it requires more of you to actually put in the work in order to get the results you desire. I ran track in middle school and I was a sprinter that enjoyed running short distances really fast. Not to brag, I was one of the fast girls in the school and was part of the school track team. If you have ever been a racer, you know that the actual race is nothing compared to the time before you start. As a racer, I remember all the nerves that flared up before the race began. Getting into position and waiting for the whistle that signals us to go was nerve wrecking, even as I write right now it brings back those feelings I would get before the race. You know those feelings right? the eagerness, the uncertainty, the excitement and the determination to win this race all rushing through your mind and only for a second you focus your gaze on your track. The questions that I had in those few seconds were; am I ready? can I win? what if I lose? who am I disappointing? and my last thoughts before the signal were that my team was counting on me and my mother is in the stands, I have to make her proud! Wait, what about me? and by then, it is too late.

Goooo! The whistle blows and there I go! Uncertain, but believing in my own abilities even though before the race I heard that the girl in the third lane after me is a very fast sprinter and is most likely to win first place. Well, that should not bother me because I am here to run my race. Before you know it I was pushing myself to win the race, all my effort was projected towards being first and just when I was close to taking first place, I stumbled and fell. How did that happen? I was so close, this was supposed to be an easy win. However, my mother never raised a quitter, so I stood up and picked up my pace again because I had to finish the race. I may have not finished the race first, but I heard applause in the stands and from my team, and at that moment I was glad that I did not give up! I ran my race!

Do you realize that our journey in life almost sounds similar to that of the a track racer. We are sometimes put in positions that require our patience to wait before we are signaled to go. Those positions can easily flare up our nerves and have us asking all kinds of questions. Unlike the ready, set, go signal that only takes a couple of seconds for a racer, we sometimes face longer waits in life, it could be weeks, months, years before we are signaled to go. However, how we respond to this wait will determine our outcome. If our response is channeled from our fears, guilt, shame, hurt, anger and all other heavy burdens, we are in for long tedious race. Do you know why track racers wear light clothing and shoes? It is to be able to run the race as light as possible. A track racer will not be advised to wear a heavy winter coat while they race because it slows them down, the same way your negative responses keep you in undesired situations. What if you decide to respond differently? Allowing hope, love,faith, peace, excitement, eagerness would be like you wearing light weight clothing and shoes that help you run your race easily. The key here is to be able to recognize that your response to every situation you face in life can either move you forward or keep you where you are and the choice is entirely up to you.

After we are signaled to go, it is not a guarantee that we will not face opposition, obstacles and set back. The word of God says that we will go through trials, but we should be of good cheer. If anyone knows trial, I know you are saying what is there to be cheerful about? I thought that too, until God made it clear to me what he meant about being of “good cheer “even though life has me down. It means realizing that whatever trial you maybe going through will pass and God is fighting your battle. When God gets involved there is no doubt that the battle will be won in your favor. I know we all wish life was roses and waterfalls, but there times when we stumble and fall and some falls are mighty. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean we stay down, you know why? because people depend on you finishing your race. What you endure and overcome will help others learn from you and grow.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

We also need to realize the importance of focusing our goals, dreams, desires on what God has called us to do. If we spend most of our time looking at others tracks, we miss a whole lot of our own race. Rather than focusing on who is better or who is not, I would say let us believe in our own abilities and channel our effort to be better than we were before. Remember that every race is different, sometimes it may require more effort from you than others. Every racer can tell you that not every race is the same. With that said, not every life journey is the same and the sooner you realize that the better for you and those counting on you.

My last thoughts about life and racing is that it doesn’t matter whether you come first or last. If you can just finish strong and at the pace God has you on. There is no need to rush things that God already knows you need. Patience! Patience! Patience! Wait on the Lord and he will renew your strength. You have to keep the faith and always remember that all things will work together for your good! Let’s keep running!